Be Careful How You Look

Introduction

I’m probably not telling you anything that you don’t already know, being present here this morning, but gospel meetings can be so uplifting, so encouraging. Have an advantage over the rest of you. We not only get to experience gospel meetings here, but we get to go to other places, other states and experience gospel meetings. And in so doing, we’ve been so uplifted and so encouraged by others. And that encouragement can come in different forms. Most obviously and most importantly, it’s a spiritual encouragement. Being together with brothers and sisters of like precious faith and studying together and praying and Deedra and I have also experienced another types of encouragement, what we might call physical uplifting.

Deedra’s experience took place in Kansas. And after the lesson, we’re coming through shaking hands and doing things, saying different things, and an older gentleman came up to Deedra and shook her hand and made her feel so good when he said, Your daddy did a good job preaching today. Mistaking her for my daughter. We had to hang around 20 minutes in the parking lot to let the swelling in her head go down before she would fit in the car. That made her feel so good. Mine took place in Texas. And this time it was an elder’s wife who came and said something to Deedra, and I was able to overhear it. And I want you to know I have witnesses. This is what she said. She said to Deedra, your husband is the perfect man.

To which Deedra said, I’m gonna need some context. She went on to explain. The explanation’s not near as good as the initial statement. She went on to explain this lady was a tall woman. And she was recounting the times when she was dating and different things. It was hard to find a man who was taller than her who could date. And so her estimation of my perfection was based solely upon my height. But that’s not the part I like tend to remember.

1. Ladies Need to Be Concerned About How They Look

Whether how we’re dressed, or maybe our fitness are a new hairdo, different things, and we like those compliments. And if we’re honest, we care about those things. We care about how we look. That’s why we all have mirrors in our bathrooms, because we, for the most part, care how we look, and there’s a biblical component to that as well. And this morning I’d like to talk to you about that subject. In a lesson that we’ve simply entitled, Be Careful How You Look. We’re going to talk about looking this morning and our physical appearance. And actually, we’re going to look at it from two different standpoints, two different vantage or viewpoints in being careful how we look. First of all, when we talk about being careful how we look, ladies need to be concerned about how they look.

Now, I’m going to primarily talk to the females in our audience this morning because that’s what the scriptures do. The scriptures emphasize talking to that gender when it’s talking about our appearances. That’s not to say that men are exempt from this issue, from this subject. And so much, if not all, of what we’re going to talk about applies to the men in our audience, but I’m going to do what the scriptures do and address the women on this subject. In the book of 1 Timothy, will you go with me there? Actually, let’s start 1 Peter 3. There are two primary passages that talk about this subject that we sometimes refer to. One is infrared in chapter 2, but let’s just again dressing ladies. It says, do not, actually, he began with wives in verse 1.

In verse 3, he says, do not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Let it be rather the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. What Peter, or actually the Holy Spirit, through Peter here, is talking about is the idea, and really what we’re going to emphasize all morning in this lesson is the idea of the heart. Your beauty is not so much determined by your outward appearance. Your beauty should largely be determined by your heart and by your spirit.

Look in first Timothy at Paul’s similar approach to this topic in Timothy chapter two. In telling Timothy, then his role as a preacher and a teacher of how he was to instruct different groups in his audience, men, women, young or old, he says, in this way you instruct the women.

And moderation, not with braid or glass or purple. It is pro women with good works. Women adorn yourselves in modest apparel. Modest literally means kind of toned down, not to overdo it, not to draw this undue attention to yourself and to your body, but again, that adornment was to be, as he says, with propriety and godliness. Propriety just literally means what’s proper, what’s fitting, what’s appropriate, what’s proper. Now, we do admit when we talk about this subject and how we dress ourselves, that the scriptures don’t give exact dimensions of what a long dress or a short shorts are to be, how high they are to cover. But it does recognize that there is something that is proper, that there is propriety, and there is that which he says with moderation.

There are things that are to be toned down in that, in how we address how we dress ourselves and how we address others by our appearance.

Just tell me where my shorts need to go. Just tell me how high or low, depending upon which end of the dress we’re talking about, it needs to be. God doesn’t give us those guidelines, but he gives us this guidelines, three guidelines propriety, that’s what’s proper and fitting, with moderation, and as that which is professing godliness. I guess my best advice would be to seek two counsels, sense of propriety. I think for the most part, we know what’s right and what’s fitting. And then, secondly, to seek the guidance and help of those whom we estimate as being mature spiritually.

Need to ask the older ladies. Those ladies, and I don’t mean this as an insult, but those ladies have been around a while and have assumed and accumulated some wisdom. Those who have been married maybe have a better understanding, if that’s possible, of men than the younger women do, and to ask their advice, and maybe even to ask the advice of godly mature male Christians, as to how does this come across? How does this look and is this appropriate? When we talk to this idea, ladies need to be concerned with how they look. There’s other terms that we need to deal with. Look in Galatians chapter 5. It doesn’t just stop with those words, modest apparel. In fact, I would argue that this term is maybe something that’s more needed and more appropriate to be used in this context.

Galatians 5 and in verse 19, where Jeremiah was reading for us this morning. Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are adultery, fornication, uncleanness, and lewdness. Some translations say lasciviousness. The word lascivious or lasciviousness is a word that’s found nine times in the New Testament. And this word lewdness or lasciviousness is sometimes translated lust, or just simply that which is filthy. It’s defined Thayer in his dictionary of New Testament words, defines the word as unbridled lust, excess, licentiousness, wantonness, outrageousness, shamelessness, and insolence. Our attire, our actions, our heart is to be that which does not demonstrate this work of the flesh. William Barclay, who in his commentaries put emphasis upon words and the meanings of words, has this to say of lasciviousness. He says it conveys the idea of a person who is so far gone in lust and desire that he or she ceases to care what people say or think.

That’s a good summary definition of the idea of lewdness or lasciviousness, that we don’t give concern. And that’s going to be key, ladies, to what we’re going to talk about next in this topic. That we just don’t care how it affects others. I find it interesting that a first and late early second century Jewish author by the name of Josephus uses the word to describe the word lascivious or lewd to describe a man who had indecently exposed himself to a crowd. And he referred to that as being lascivious or lewd. And one thing we need to understand, I think is key in this idea of the works of the flesh, that this concept of lasciviousness, lust, and lewdness is us also a sin that often leads to other sins.

And that certainly would address the subject of how we dress and how we will. Earlier in the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul made this point. When it comes to our attire, I think this is a fitting question to ask. In Ephesians chapter 4, beginning in verse 17, he says, This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord that you should no longer walk as the rest of the Gentiles walk in the futility of their mind. There is to be some distinction in mind, in word, in dress, in action between those who seek to walk in the spirit, as opposed to those who walk in the flesh. As those Gentiles, that we no longer walk as they walk. We no longer live and act. And I think we could appropriately add the words, we no longer dress as they dress.

We won’t turn over there, but you’ll remember the familiar passage in 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and talking about our bodies. The Apostle Paul would say in 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 20 that the Christian is to glorify God in our body. An important question men and women alike need to ask is Am I glorifying God in my body? And how do I glorify God in my body? Another thing that ladies should be concerned about in being concerned about how they look, is that they should care. A true child, a true daughter of God should care about how they affect others. Paul in a different subject, in the subject of eating of meats in Romans chapter 14, verses 12 through 14, would encourage Christians in concern for their fellow Christians to not put a stumbling block in their pathway.

And that’s a concern.

2. Men, We Need to Be Careful How We Look

Is the way I’m dressing, is it putting a stumbling block? Is it encouraging someone else to see? But in a little bit of a play on words, the title of this lesson is Be Careful How You Look. And God would want ladies especially to know that you need to be careful how you look. God is concerned about your heart and what’s demonstrated by your actions, including your dress in your heart. God is concerned whether you’re putting a stumbling block or a provision to sin in front of another. But men, let’s be honest. The bulk of scriptures on this subject were written to men. And men need to understand and accept their God-given responsibility in this arena. And so, men, we need to be careful how we look.

Job in Job chapter 31 and in verse 1, Job is finally defending himself against the accusations of his three friends, that he was worldly, that he was less than what God wanted him to be. And Job, in his defense of his morality, of his godliness, would say this in Job 31, verse 1, I have made a covenant with my eyes. We would say, I made a pact with my eyes. Why then should I look upon a young woman? So Job said, I’m careful how I look. I’ve made the decision that I’m not going to look in such a way as to lust after another woman. Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew chapter 5 would say that we have misunderstood Scripture. We have misunderstood God if we say not commit adultery.

He says that it is possible for us to commit a form of adultery in our heart based upon how we look upon someone and lust after them. And so men have a tremendous responsibility in how and what we look at. The proverb writer in Proverbs chapter 6 and verse 25 would encourage godly men do not lust after her beauty in your heart. And so we all have a responsibility when it comes to purity in regard to how we look. Godly women should be concerned about their appearance before God and before their fellow man. To not put a stumbling block and cause someone else to lust or to sin. And men should be concerned about how we look and what we look at. There are two stories in Scripture that stand out to me in this area.

3. Two Principles for Both Sexes

One’s the story of David and Bathsheba. We know the end of that horrible story. But we also remember how it started. David is on his rooftop and he looks over and he sees Bathsheba bathing. Now I want to be careful here. I’m not necessarily condemning Bathsheba’s actions. She may have been thinking she was bathing in privacy, but because of David’s vantage point. And so my point is not to condemn Bathsheba in what she was doing necessarily. I don’t know. But my point is to demonstrate both sides of this equation. We recognize from that story that here was a woman in some degree of undress that attracted the attention of a man. And certainly in this story, we have a man looking and lusting after that which he had no right.

Another story is that in the New Testament book of Mark, chapter six, and other gospel writers tell the story of King Herod and this young lady who was dancing before King Herod. And he was so enthralled by her appearance that he said that he would give her half of his kingdom. And so there again, have the beauty of a woman leading another man and sinning. And so I think from those two stories, as well as the other scriptures that we’ve looked at, there’s two principles for both sexes. Number one, these two stories illustrate this important lesson. Women, please recognize the power you wield in your beauty and your sexuality. Men, recognize your weakness in the face of beauty and sexuality. Both of those statements that are demonstrated by those two stories and by the principles that we’ve looked at this morning tell us that we have a responsibility.

Conclusion

Women have a responsibility to properly use the power that they have. And men have the responsibility to properly control ourselves and to discipline ourselves in the face of our seemingly inherent weakness in this area. We like receiving compliments about how we look. We understand the importance in how we look in our appearance and what that says to others. And we need to recognize that it has a spiritual application as well. That our appearance says something about us. And men, the way we look says a lot about us. This is an uncomfortable topic. One that we don’t like talking about addressing, but it is one that Scripture addresses. And one that both male and female alike have a responsibility to live the good godly life by being careful how you look.

At this time we want to extend an invitation if you need to render obedience to the gospel through hearing, believing, repenting, being confessing of your sins, and being baptized for the forgiveness of your sins. Would you do that this morning? Or maybe you have walked after the flesh rather than the spirit, and you need to return to God and seek the prayers of the brethren in whatever way we can help you. Will you let that be known as together we stand and sing?