Church Cliques

Introduction

In four weeks, our gospel meeting starts, as was already announced, and uh it was also said that we’re not unfamiliar with Tommy Peeler. But if you have never heard Tommy Peeler, uh, he is a very powerful speaker and uh a very inspirational speaker, and I don’t think you will be disappointed. So we have four weeks to be planning to be here. Four weeks to make that a plan. And also four weeks to be inviting people. So we have these nice handouts that uh Tim and Michelle Caldwell have helped to design and to print out for us. And we can hand those out in the workplace and uh wherever we might be to try to get as many people that we can to come. And uh let’s try to fill up that invitation board uh in the hallway.

It’s got 500 spaces in it, try to put the first names of those that we invite on the board. I’ll try to get the stickers ready on Wednesday, so let’s see if we can start inviting people that soon. For the birds is a short animated film depicting these little blue birds that all look exactly the same, sound exactly the same, and act exactly the same, that land on this telephone wire, and uh they’re actually quite grouchy, but they’re all doing their thing. And then this big goofy blue bird appears on the pole next to them waving, wanting to be friends. They’ve never seen a bird that looked so goofy. And uh he persists wanting to be their friend. Well, they begin to make fun of him, and when they see that he’s still wanting to be their friend, they then scoot far away from him and begin chirping in their gossipy kind of a way.

Unexpectedly, the big bird lands right in the middle of them. And kind of makes himself at home. And he’s so heavy that the telephone wire then bends far down, and the other little birds are all crammed on each side and very unhappy, and they begin protesting against this loudly. To which he begins mimicking their sound, thinking that we’re all friends. One of the birds next to him, frustrated, pecks his foot, causing the big bird to flip upside down. And one of the toes comes off of the line. This gives the two birds next to his feet a bright idea that if we keep pecking, he’ll keep letting go and we’ll be free of our burdensome intruder. So they begin pecking, and the other birds begin chanting until there’s only one toe left, and one of the birds realizes the precarious position they’re all in.

And begins to try to stop the chanting and stop the pecking. But by the time it stops, it’s too late. And when that last toe lets go, they all fling up into the air, leaving a shower of feathers. The big bird falls on his head, flips over, and sits up, and the first bird lands on the ground totally naked, and lets out an embarrassed squeak, covers himself with a feather and hides himself behind the big bird who is laughing hilariously at this new development. Then the rest of the birds land and hide behind the big bird as well, who seems to have made some new friends. I want to talk to you today about church clicks. That little story is actually a parable, if you think about it.

Oftentimes we are those little blue birds. And within a congregation, forming groups that look alike and act alike and talk alike. And we’re comfortable with that group. We don’t want some big goofy bird different from us that doesn’t look like us or act like us or talk like us coming in and messing things up. And I’m going to refer to that a little bit later as well. Church clicks. Church clicks are a common complaint in many churches. It’s hard to have a group of people without having clicks. Now, I’m not talking today about clicks in the workplace or clicks at school. We would expect that, but we would not expect for there to be clicks in the negative sense of that word in the church of the Lord.

What is a click? A click is basically defined when you look up all the different dictionaries. The most basic definition is a small exclusive group of people. Now I’m going to add a little bit more to that definition later, but I wanted to just give it to you straight and simple. A small exclusive group of people. Is it wrong? Is it wrong within a church? My judgment is that it is at least dangerous. And at the most, it is sinful. And so we certainly need to watch out for it. Now, sometimes these groups are exclusive intentionally, and sometimes they are exclusive unintentionally, but they wind up becoming exclusive either way. What we all need to do is we need to examine ourselves and examine our interactions with others to make sure that we are not in a click or perceived to be, because even the perception of that can cause problems, and I have witnessed that firsthand time and again.

1. What a Clique Is Not

Before we really get rolling on this, we need to discuss what a clique is not. Because it’s easy to get confused. A click is not a close group of friends. It is not a close group that spends more time with themselves than they do with those outside of the group. That’s not a click. That’s just natural for interaction for people to gravitate towards one another who have like interests and so on. And I don’t think anything’s wrong with that inherently. Remember the definition of a clique is a small exclusive group. If a clique was simply a close group, then Jesus wasn’t a clique. Because he had his twelve apostles. And that was a pretty exclusive group in a number of ways, might you say.

2. We Are All One in Christ Jesus

And were not unfriendly to those outside the group. In fact, they spent much of their time with those outside of their group, the crowds. And the whole purpose of the apostleship was so that they might bring the gospel to the whole world. All of us who are Christians are one in Christ Jesus. In Galatians chapter 3, the reading was from this passage earlier. In verse 26, for you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you were baptized, or who were baptized into Christ, have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither slave nor free. There is neither male nor female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. That is a powerful passage. So here you have these Jewish Christians who are saying that, you know, you Gentile Christians have got to get circumcised.

If you want to be saved, you can’t just be a Christian. You’ve got to become a Jew. And the Gentiles were, they were buying this hoop line and sinker. And Paul is saying, no, that is not the case. There isn’t that distinction anymore. There are no distinctions. We are all one in Christ Jesus. And brethren, we could expand that verse to say there is neither black nor white. There is neither old nor young. There is neither related nor unrelated. There is neither rich nor poor. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. Amen. Regardless of our different backgrounds, regardless of our different tastes and our different hobbies and our different ethnicities. There is one thing we all have in common, and that is Christ Jesus. And brethren, that’s the only thing that matters.

The other things outside of Christ Jesus are fleshly things. And you may look at someone and say, but I don’t have much in common with that brother or with that sister. And so I’ll just stay in my group and they’ll stay in their group. But do we not have a lot in common with that brother or sister? Even though we have differences in our fleshly interests, we have a lot in common with that brother or sister. And that ought to be the basis of our relationships. The basis of our relationships in the church should not be sports or age. It should be Jesus Christ. And that should be the thing that binds us together. If we are one in Christ Jesus, we should act like it.

We should treat each other as equals, as the same. We should have no distinction in our minds from one brother to another, from one sister to another. We should act like it. In Ephesians chapter 4, first couple of verses. Therefore, I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you are called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body.

To forget that we are one in Christ Jesus is to open the door of division wide open. And we become like the Corinthians, who are saying, I am of Paul, I am of Apollos, I of Cephas, and I of Christ. They should have all been saying, I am of Christ. But they were not doing that. And so you remember what Paul told the Corinthians, don’t you? In 1 Corinthians 1 and in verse 10. Now I exhort you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that you all agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made perfect in the same mind and in the same judgment. And what that means, the same mind and same judgment there doesn’t just mean doctrinally.

3. Put the Needs of Others Before Our Own

We always want to emphasize that we need to be united doctrinally. And we do. But what they were dividing over was they were choosing their favorite preachers. There was no different doctrine there. This was more of a clickish kind of a thing than doctrinal in 1 Corinthians chapter 1. These divisions. And that relates very closely to what we’re talking about today. Clicks lead to factions. Factions can split a church in half. I want to talk to you about the needs of others. Philippians chapter 2 is a well known passage, beginning there in verses 3 and 4 and following. Verses 3 and 4, do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. But in lowliness of mind, esteem others as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own interests, but also for the interest of others.

We must put the needs of others before our own needs. In fact, the word needs or interests is not even in the original Greek. It’s just kind of left empty. It’s just the, and it’s a plural neuter idea. Just the things of others, the interests of others, the ideas of others, the needs of others. And so we need to put that before our own in every case. And that doesn’t just mean with physical things, but emotionally, relationally to put the needs of others before our own. You see, cliques can be self-centered, can’t they? They can be self-centered. Those who are within a click can end up not showing very much interest for those outside of the click. If any interest at all.

That means you’re putting their needs before your needs. Oftentimes apathy is the basis for clicks. You just really don’t care to know anybody else besides your close exclusive group. You don’t really care to bring somebody along who feels left out over there. You pay no attention to that. That’s apathy. And you know what that is, brethren? It’s selfish. Apathy is selfish. And apathy is sinful. Clicks can be a security blanket. It might be that you’re in a click not because you want to be exclusive. Not because you want to lead people out, but because maybe this is just where you feel comfortable. These are the people you know the best, and maybe you’re even shy. Hey, I can relate. I’m shy. My nature, I’m not one of these preachers that likes to walk around shaking everybody’s hand.

I’d like to go just sit on the back row and be in my own little world. I’m very shy. So I can relate. Sometimes our own insecurities prevent us from reaching out to others. And you know how that is perceived by the others? Well, he doesn’t care about me. Or he doesn’t want to know me. Or I’ve offended him. But it’s none of that. It’s simply your own insecurities. So we have to step outside of our comfort zone, and we cannot allow our insecurities prevent us from doing what God wants us to do. Clicks can be a security blanket, but that’s no excuse for ignoring the needs of others. Brethren, there is never an excuse for ignoring the needs of others. No excuse. Not for me.

Not for you. Not for anybody. Putting others first is an act of humility. It’s an act of humility. That’s why the passage says, do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind. Regard one another as more important than yourselves. In fact, he says in verse 5, let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. What mind? The mind of humility. And he goes on to tell us exactly what that humility of Christ is like. Beginning in verse 5 or verse 6, who, although he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God, a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a bond servant and being made in the likeness of men, being found in appearance as a man.

He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. So what did Jesus do? He went from the highest of possible highs, being in the presence of God in heaven, to the lowest of possible lows. Not only did he become a human, but he died the most painful, cruel, humiliating death that is possible. And what is the point of that in this context? It is the humility of Christ. That’s the point in this context. Let this mind be in you. What mind? The mind of humility. If Jesus Christ could leave heaven and dwell on earth and die on the cross, then I think that we can reach across the aisle to people that we don’t feel comfortable with. And bridge the gap.

4. Pride Causes Personal Favoritism

Whatever it is that is preventing you from reaching out to others. You need to define that. Maybe it’s that you’re shy, maybe it’s that you don’t care. Maybe it’s that you just haven’t really thought about it. But whatever that reason is, humility can overcome it. Because pride is what’s holding this whole thing together. As far as clicks are concerned. And pride is what causes personal favoritism. You all know in James chapter 2, where James says, My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of personal favoritism. And he goes on to tell about what if two men come in in your assembly, one is rich and dress very well, and one is poor and dress very poorly. Are you going to wind up giving the place of honor to the rich man, but not the poor man?

If you do that, you have become judges with evil motives, and you are showing personal favoritism. So we must not do that. Now, that context is not talking about clicks, but it is personal favoritism. And personal favoritism can lead to clicks. And those who are isolated, and you know what the technical term for that is? Isolates. Those isolates, they feel left out. They feel that they’re not good enough. I’ve seen this.

She couldn’t figure out why she and her husband and her children just weren’t included. They weren’t invited to the different things the brethren would do, or that groups of the brethren would do.

And she was literally just confused. Why? What have I done? Am I not good enough? We are guilty of personal favoritism when we give preference to those who are popular. Those who are easy to like. Those who everybody likes, those who everybody wants to be their friend. Or when we give preference to the wealthy, then we have become judges with evil motives. And we are guilty of personal favoritism when we do not associate with the lowly. In Romans chapter 16, or chapter 12 and verse 16, listen to what Paul says. He says, be of the same mind toward one another. Do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. Bob Waldron, who I worked with before I came here, when he was approaching college age, he told me of a time when there was a, I think he said a visiting preacher, a well-known preacher in the area, that came over and visited with him and his parents, with Mr.

Waldron and his parents, and they were dirt poor. And that this preacher just came in to their house, which was basically a shack, and just sat down at the table and just acted like this house is no different than any other. And that may seem like a small thing. But that influenced Mr. Walton. It was one of the things that led him to go to Florida College, which is one of the things that caused him to be a gospel preacher for five decades and more. Do we associate with the lowly? When those who are in humble circumstances or circumstances that we’re not quite comfortable with, or they can’t afford the clothes that we’re used to being able to wear. When we hang around them, do we feel this awkwardness, or do we treat them like there is no difference?

5. Cliques Can Lead to Many Unintended Consequences

Because, brethren, there is no difference. Because we are all one in Christ Jesus. Clicks can lead to many unintended consequences. And I want to name just seven. First of all, church clicks provide less opportunity for relationship building. Let’s face it, we have limited opportunity as it is for relationship building, especially here in Orlando, where we’re all far flung and it’s hard to get together during the week in our modern society where you know you don’t even talk to your next door neighbors, much less people who live 30 minutes away from you. And so the main opportunity we have is when we gather together and worship. And before and after services, we have time to visit. And that’s not really time for real relationship building, is it?

That’s just sort of chit chat time, right? And many of us show up just right when church begins, so we don’t really have any time to associate before church and may leave right when church is over, so we don’t have any time to associate after church. I’m just talking about facts here. I’m not trying to be critical, but we need to think about the fact that we need to associate with one another in order to know one another. Because if we don’t know one another, how are we going to know the needs of one another? And if we don’t know the needs of one another, how are we going to be able to be there for each other when the need arises? We’re not going to be able to do that.

And clicks get in the way of all of that. Because when we do have time together, if we’re separated into the groups that we’re always separated in and we don’t step outside of that group, then we’re not getting to know others. Number two, church clicks often alienate visitors and new members. And I don’t think we have that problem here. I really don’t think we have that problem here. I think this is one of the most welcoming groups that I’ve ever seen. I mean that honestly. But I’ve seen groups where that’s not the case. I’ve been in churches where I was a visitor sitting on the back row, and it seemed like nobody came to say hi, or barely anybody. Sometimes clicks can be the cause of that.

Number three, church clicks can foster an atmosphere of bitterness. Because there are those who are the isolates that feel left out. And I have witnessed this firsthand that this bitterness, it is palpable. It is visceral. It is poisonous. Number four, church clicks tend to promote gossip. In fact, the word click is from a French word that means to make a noise. And it’s related to the word clack. And I don’t know if that’s related to the idea of this being a gossipy group or not, but I think it’s the idea that they make some noise. It reminds me of those little birds. There they are on that telephone wire, scooting away from that big goofy bird, just chirping, chirping, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp, church, chirp, church, church, chirp.

Is that how we become? Number five, church clicks can lead others to have lower attendance. Really, you think about it. It’s hard for people to have motivation to come to services when they feel left out. And we can preach about come to church, and we can try to guilt people into coming more, and you know what? Hebrews 10, 24 and 25. We do need to preach that. But maybe one of the most effective methods, if not the most effective method, for increasing church attendance is for those who attend more often to reach out to those who attend less often instead of only spending time with others who come more often. And you say, well, I do reach out to them. Well, maybe we need to reach out to those who attend less often in a way we never have and embrace them freely and build relationships in a way that’s never been done.

Could we increase? Could we improve in that way? I think we can. Number six, church clicks can push people away from the church. Could push people away from the Lord altogether, or it can just push them into some other group. And they say, you know what? I don’t feel welcome here. I’ll go to a group where I feel welcome. Again, I don’t think that we have that problem here. But I’m not everybody. Number seven, church clicks can, as we talked about earlier, split a church in half. These are just seven of the effects of clicks. And we could go on with more.

6. The Attitude of Those Who Are Excluded

If you can remember that, then that’s good. Now, before we can wrap this lesson up, we need to look at the flip side of the coin and talk about the attitude of those who are excluded, the isolates. Because oftentimes their attitude is downright wrong. And I’ve seen this firsthand too. It is possible to think that a click exists when it does not. It is possible to begin pointing your finger. Oh, look at all these clicks when they’re not clicks at all. Remember, a click is a close, I mean a small, exclusive group that is unwelcoming or unfriendly to others outside the group. Just a close group is not a click. So we need to be careful not to just say, oh, they’re in a close group of friends, so that’s a click, that’s a click, that’s a click.

We need not make snappy judgments. Remember when Jesus said in John 7 and verse 24, do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment. What did he mean by that? He meant do not make snappy judgments. Don’t jump to conclusions. And before we judge, we need to examine our own selves. See if we have a beam, a cross beam in our own eye while we’re pointing out the speck in somebody else’s eye. It might be that you’re criticizing somebody else being in a clique when you are yourself in a click. Or it might be that you’re condemning somebody else for excluding you when you have cut yourself off and you have made no real effort to bridge the gap yourself. It’ll be judged by the same standard that you judge others.

Maybe you are surrounded by clicks. If that is the real situation, no matter what, you must refrain from bitterness. Don’t let it get the best of you. Continue to show love and tolerance. Continue to set an example. And refrain from gossip. The old adage, if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. There’s a lot of truth to that. In Ephesians 4 and verse 31, Paul says, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander, which is gossip, be put away from you along with all malice. And no matter what, you need to realize that you can make a difference. If you sense that there is a problem, sometimes you get frustrated and want to give up. Don’t do that.

Conclusion

If you sense that there is a problem, set out to make a difference. It’s amazing what just a handful of people who are proactively bridging the gap can do and what a difference they can make, and what a ripple effect that it can have, even in a church of this size. So, in conclusion, clicks thrive on apathy and a lack of action. It’s not that you you’re out there looking for clicks to happen. If you just don’t pay attention, they tend to happen. They spring up easily unless we take great care. So you know what we need to do? We need to take great care and pay special and close attention to this matter. We need to work against the temptation constantly. If you sense that there is a problem, pray about that matter.

And most importantly, always put the needs of others before your own needs. There is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither slave nor free. There is neither male nor female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. Would you bow your head with me in a word of prayer? Our Father, we thank you so much for the unity that is in the Spirit. And we thank you for the unity that you have given this congregation. We pray for greater unity, not only doctrinally, but also relationally. That we can break down whatever barriers there may be between different ethnicities or backgrounds or likes and dislikes or personalities.

That group has clicks within them. Let us be far away from that type of behavior. And let us operate with an attitude of humility. Even the humility of your Son Jesus Christ. It is through Him that we pray. Amen.