Dealing With a Brother in Sin

Introduction

Good morning. Phil, please open your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 27. Proverbs chapter 27. In this chapter, we find a very somewhat perplexing proverb, although it makes sense with a matter of simple explanation. In Proverbs chapter 27 and verse 5, better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy. And while the proverb makes plenty of sense, it logically follows, and we understand why that is. Allow me to consider with you for a moment about verse 5. Better is open rebuke. And then we say, well, of course, then hidden love, right? This is a problem. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy. I don’t want the kisses of an enemy.

I don’t want love hidden away. But how many of us would sign up for open rebuke? If the next quarter the elders put up a class sheet and this said, open rebuke, faithful wounds. Tailored to you personally. Who’s signing up? Well, according to the proverb, we should, in a sense, be thankful for that type of brother or sister who would take the time to care and share us, share with us, excuse me, those faithful wounds, or that open rebuke. And the reason is simple, of course, because it’s in our best interest. At times, what is readily understandable to us isn’t always the best course of action. What makes me feel good right away doesn’t always make me feel good for eternity. And so this morning I’d like to consider the question that comes up time and time again in our society today, and it links to things like Adam will speak about at the 11 o’clock hour about homosexuality.

And it speaks of all different types of ideas that we find in our postmodern society where there is no right or no wrong, and it’s what do I do if my brother is in sin? Now, if you notice, if the focus this morning is on what I just previously said, the brother who is in sin. So we are speaking within the church family. And so when we see that we are dealing with a brother who is in sin, well, we have a special obligation to them, don’t we? Consider with me in 1 Corinthians chapter 5. I know that we are very light this morning, and I understand that there will be an element of preaching to the choir on this, but I want to read 1 Corinthians chapter 5.

1. A Man Has His Father’s Wife

And while we go over an understanding of how we are to deal with a brother in sin, I want to challenge each and every one of us to think about something in a way we might be a little lazy on. In 1 Corinthians chapter 5 and verse 1, it is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans. For a man has his father’s wife. And you are arrogant. Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you. For though absent in body, I am present in spirit, and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus, and my spirit is present with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh.

Please note with me the last part of the verse 5, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord. See, this is the Christian’s goal. We talk about it a lot. We think about heaven all the time, or at least we should be. We speak about being afraid of hell, and we certainly should be. And as Christians, you would think we would be constantly focused on pleasing God, that we would strive to be holy like God is. And yet this unfathomable circumstance has found itself in the Corinthian church in the first century. Look back at verse 1. What’s the problem? What is the major deal that Paul is writing to address? A man has his father’s wife. And it’s not just that that’s sinful and wrong.

It’s not even tolerated among whom? The pagans. This would be a major black eye, not only for the church, but for Christianity. How is it that Jesus’ gospel has been devalued in such a way that that which is not even found among pagans, which is not even tolerated among them, would be accepted and allowed to persist in the Lord’s church. And note with me that there is a persistence on it. Note what’s happening in verse 3. Paul says, For though absent in body I am present in spirit, and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. He says, when you are assembled in the name of the Lord, who is this to? The Corinthian church. What are they to do?

2. The High Price of Sin

Deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh. Now we think about Proverbs chapter 27 again. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. And you think delivering this man for the destruction of his flesh to Satan for any reason is pretty bad. That’s not something we sign up for a lot. And there’s a reason for it. Consider with me in Isaiah chapter 59 that there is a high price of sin. But I want to drive home this factor for us this morning. Something we know, but we need to think about even as Christians who aren’t the brother in sin, but we certainly need to apply to our own lives as well as our attitude towards our brother or sister in Christ.

In Isaiah chapter 59 and verse 1, behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened that it cannot save, or his ear dole that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear. Do you see the problem? But your iniquities have made what? A separation between you and your God. Your sins have done what? Hidden his face from you. So that he does not hear. What has happened is we have a holy God. And with that holy God, we are expected to be what? Holy as well. And when we sin, we know the wages of sin is death. We haven’t just earned ourselves spiritual death, even though that is what we are doing.

The reason for that is we have separated ourselves from our God. That has major implications, doesn’t it? Do you see those? If I sin, if I persist in sin, where does that leave me? Where does that leave the sacrifice of Christ? Haven’t I, in a sense, done what the Hebrew writer wrote about and trampled underfoot the blood of the Savior? Haven’t I made his sacrifice in vain? If I take his salvation, and then as a Christian man, I then sin again because I want to, and I allow myself to be dragged down into the unholiness of the actions I participate in? You see, the problem with committing sin is it traps me in spiritual death. Think with me about Colossians chapter 1. If you want to turn there, go for it.

In Colossians chapter 1 and verse 13 and 14. But what does Paul say that has happened? He has transferred us from where? The domain of darkness and delivered us into the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. And we know that at one point we were lost. We were stuck where? In the domain of darkness. God has delivered us. We have been transferred out of that into where? The kingdom of Jesus Christ, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. And we shouldn’t just give that up lightly. But consider then the implications and the consequences of sin. The implication is that I am turning my back on my heavenly Father because I know that my iniquities cause a separation between me and my God.

3. Go and Tell Him His Fault

Furthermore, there are earthly consequences. How many families have been torn apart by sin? How many churches have been broken, divided, and ultimately died because of selfishness, pride, or not sticking to the law of God? But look with me at the reading from this morning at 9 o’clock in Matthew chapter 18. In Matthew chapter 18. As we move forward into the sin and the process of dealing with a brother’s sin, note the short encapsulation of Jesus Himself. And in Matthew chapter 18 and verse 15, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault in front of everyone. Not so. Go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. How so, Jesus? But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a gentile and a tax collector. And there you see the rub, don’t you? If someone will not turn from the sin that they are living in, what are they to be like? A gentile and a tax collector. What type of person, what type of net was being cast with those descriptions? Not a faithful brother in Christ. You see, the risk of speaking to someone is high, isn’t it? The idea of going up to someone and telling them, you are wrong in this matter, you are going to hell if you don’t change your ways. That’s kind of tough to say.

4. To Be a Spiritual Family

But it can be difficult to say. And so, when we think about withdrawal, which is, of course, Paul’s solution to the Corinthian problem in 1 Corinthians chapter 5, and what we will illuminate in just a few moments, consider what first must happen. If withdrawal is to be effective as discipline, what does that imply? That fellowship and spending time with the saints was crucially important. Do you see that? If you don’t spend time with someone, if you’re not really a church family, if you’re not part of it, and you remove that church family, has that really bothered someone any? No, of course not. I think about it growing up. Of course, as many of you with multiple children, I’m sure know, treating each child the same doesn’t always work.

And I know in my house, Cayley would get very sad and be weeping, and I’d say, What happened? Did you get punished? And she said, Yes. And I said, What happened? And she said, I got lectured and over and over, and my dad was disappointed in me, and I’d say, you didn’t get punished. That’s not punishment, you got off. Because to me, that meant weapons of mass destruction of punishment were coming upon me to inflict the point. Right? We see that to me, this method of discipline didn’t work. Why? Because the lecture didn’t affect me. Being talked to just bounced off my armor. As Christians, if we aren’t truly a family, if we aren’t truly caring for our brother, and we don’t fully understand and appreciate and apply the high price of sin, when we go to withdrawal from a brother, there’s going to be no damage felt.

Our punishment is going to bounce off. And nothing will change. And what that means is something that I already know from Galatians chapter 6. Do you remember what Paul exhorts the church, churches of Galatia to do? To bear one another’s burdens? How do I do that? I have to know my brother and sister. If you look around this morning, you’re going to see brothers and sisters in Christ. And what is our obligation to them? Is it to show up and assemble and be next to them in the pew and say, all right, have a good day? Or is it to know them? To love them. To be a spiritual family. And certainly we know the answer. But that carries with it a high charge. And another impact of that is I can’t just say, I don’t know them well enough.

Because you know what the answer to that charge is, is that even though you don’t know them well enough, the amount that you know someone and care for them isn’t as important to you as the price of sin. Right? If someone was getting hit by a truck, how well of a relationship do you have to have with them to yell for them to move? Do you have to care for them a lot? If you see a truck coming, it’s going to smash someone, do you say, don’t really know who they are? Wouldn’t want to be taken the wrong way if I yell at them. No. You care for their well-being. How much more so should we know our spiritual family? And this isn’t even a matter of not knowing them, it’s a matter of not taking the opportunity to get to know them.

5. Take Note of That Person

So consider that as we move forward. And you see the sin, as we already spoke about in 1 Corinthians chapter 5, was a man had his father’s wife. And you understand that that is an ongoing condition of sin. Now, turn with me to 2 Thessalonians chapter 3. In 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, let’s see what the problem is over here. In 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, Paul writes in verse 6, now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition that you receive from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it.

But with toil and labor, we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate. For even when we were with you, we would give you this command. If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busy bodies. Now, such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person and have nothing to do with him that he may be ashamed.

So what’s the sin? Well, certainly there is the sin of people who are not working for that food which they were trying to eat. And what was Paul’s words for him at the end of verse 10? If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. But it didn’t just stop there. I think the words of verse 14 are strong and stand for their own. If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of this person. If someone disobeys, if someone is unwilling to submit themselves to the teachings from Paul, which have the authority of Christ behind them, what is the congregation to do? Take note of them. Why? That they may be ashamed. Why would someone need to be ashamed?

Well, first of all, if someone doesn’t know they are sinning, is telling them that they’re sinning going to do a lot of good? Not unless they see why it is.

This is not what I think, how I feel, or how my elected official thinks, feels, or votes. It’s not right or wrong because I said so, or the nation’s democracy says so, but because Jesus said so. And if someone is unwilling to take that, then we understand the steps of Jesus in Matthew chapter 18 apply, in the sense that we would probably try to cast a wider net, have more people attempt to talk to them. But consider with me verse 15. Having nothing to do with him. That’s strong. Letting him be ashamed. That’s powerful. Verse 15, do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother. How can that be? How can making someone ashamed lead to them being a brother? And you see, the whole purpose of dealing with a brother in sin is out of your love for them.

We have got to love one another, brothers and sisters. We have got to see that this life is not all there is. I don’t care how uncomfortable it is, I don’t care how stubborn people are, including myself, we must warn those who are on the path to hell. If not, what type of brother, what type of friend are we? What is the purpose of withdrawal in 1 Corinthians chapter 5? Deliver this man for the destruction of his flesh? Why? 2 Thessalonians chapter 3. Why let him be ashamed? Why have nothing to do with them? Why in Matthew chapter 18 go and talk about him with his fault alone in private? That you may gain your brother. And his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

6. Withdrawal Is the Solution for Unrepented Sin

That he be a brother in Christ. Consider then the solution. And I think it’s clear. In verse 14, as your Bibles are still open to 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, you see it. Take note of that person and have nothing to do with him. Look back at 1 Corinthians chapter 5 with me. In 1 Corinthians chapter 5. In verse 9, I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people. Not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother. If he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler, not even to eat with such a one.

And you see, withdrawal is the solution. But note what sin that is to be the solution for. The brother who is living in sin. Can I point out that that has two implications? One, who in here, since becoming a Christian, has lived perfectly. I think the last baptism we had was sufficient time ago for that to have fast. I see no hands, no takers there. And so we say, well, my brother’s in sin. All right, I saw someone sin, I’m going to go tell him, because that’s what preacher Greg said. No, you better not put that on me. We have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. But we have a God who, according to 1 John chapter 1 and verse 9, will forgive us if we confess our sins to him.

We will make mistakes along our pathway to perfection and holiness. That is not the type of sin that is warned against here. It is an unrepented sin. This is someone living in sin. So if someone comes forward and they have sinned and they repent, we should not only not rebuke them, we should love them because they have done what a Christian should do. Do you see that? A lot of times you think about someone who comes forward and we think, uh-oh, what happened? But you know what? If I come forward, what does that tell you about my heart? I care about what Jesus says. I need to be right with God. That’s why anyone comes forward, whether it’s for baptism or to ask for the forgiveness in the prayers of the saints.

Because someone wants to be forgiven. And we need to make sure that when that happens, we love them. Because what is the purpose of discipline? To save their soul. What is the purpose of someone asking for the forgiveness of their sins? That their soul may be delivered by God, the only one who can forgive us of our sins. The second implication of that is that this person is an example of a Christian that we should emulate. We should be willing to be open with our church family. Do you remember how withdrawal is a punishment? Because someone needs to enjoy the fellowship and family of their church, brothers and sisters. Do you see how it doesn’t work if someone doesn’t really care about being here anyway? Withdrawing from them doesn’t make the impact unless we are operating the way God’s church is supposed to.

Conclusion

And so that means that I need to make sure that I am reaching out to my brothers and sisters, both to help them and to be willing to ask for help because of that high price of sin. And so I want to conclude this morning with 1 Corinthians chapter 5, once again, and read verses 3 now through 8. We haven’t looked at verses 6 through 8, but I want to begin the reading in verse 3. For though absent in body, I am present in spirit, and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. What are they supposed to do in verse 5? You are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb has been sacrificed. Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth. What is the purpose of this? To save the brother’s soul. What is the purpose of casting it out of the church? To save everyone else’s soul from being impacted and corrupted by allowing this sin to permeate and ruin the church. It’s not just to save the individual, it’s to save those around them. You see that this affects our light. When we’re a church that allows sin, what leg do we have to stand on to tell someone else that they can’t join or that they’re not right with the Lord when we have compromised truth just on a different issue?

What impact do you think that has on the church family? To know that there is sin that is not only ongoing in the church, but that no one cares to stop it, or even cares enough about them to warn them to quit and save their soul in the day of the Lord. To think about that, consider with me. What would it be like if you had a family member who had a serious problem? And rather than being there for them, you pretended it didn’t happen. It wasn’t really a big deal. In fact, any conversation you had with them would just make them upset. They would deny it, and things would just keep moving forward. And so, you, being the loving family member that you are, me loving my family like I do, I just continue to go on and don’t press the subject because after all, they’re not going to listen.

It’s not my problem.

Why say anything? And so the days pass, years go by, and the problem gets worse. And again, you have an opportunity to say something. And this time you think to yourself, someone’s already spoken to them. Who am I to tell my family member that this problem that they have is wrong? They’re not going to listen to me anyway. It’s not my problem. And someone’s more qualified to tell them anyway. I think their spouse should take care of that. Maybe their parents or their brothers and sisters should take care of it. And then you get the dreaded phone call that their life has been taken by the very act, the very reason that you should have stopped them so many days and years ago. What type of love do you have for someone that you watch every single day, find themselves seeking out their eternal destruction, and you don’t say a word?

How can a Christian who understands the high price of sin, who knows that we shouldn’t be living in it, who knows that God’s plan is perfect, that God offers the way of salvation, and it is the kingdom of his beloved son that we are seeking to be a part of. How can we stand by and not say a word? Especially to our brothers and sisters in Christ. That can only happen if we have compromised our walk. Please go to God in prayer with me.

Our dear Lord and most gracious Heavenly Father, we praise you for your greatness. We recognize, O God, that we are we can be found sinful in your sight, that we commit atrocities, sins that, whether we realize so or not, create a separation between us. Lord, we ask that you forgive us of our sins this very day. We pray, dear Lord, that all those who are outside of the body of Christ would come to know you, would recognize that without the blood of Jesus there is no salvation, and that there is so salvation and no other name under heaven which can be named. O Lord, help us to teach that. Help us to spread the message, help us to save the lost, help us to seek to simply obey you.

Oh Lord, we ask that you keep us safe as we go through this day. But dear Lord, that as we are here with the body of Christ, that we will encourage one another, that when we sing songs, we’ll be teaching and admonishing one another. O Lord, that we will care for, love, and seek the best interest of one another, which we know is what’s best in our spiritual interest to be with you for all of eternity, no matter the cost. Help us to be willing to cut off our hand, to pluck out our eye, and do anything we need to do to enter into the kingdom of heaven with you forever. It’s in your Son’s name we do pray. Amen. We are now dismissed to our Bible class.