Forgive Each Other

Introduction

Good morning. If you will open open in your Bibles with me to Matthew chapter 18. Matthew chapter 18. When you think about having attitude, it’s usually not something we view favorably. We say, somebody showed me some attitude about that. Someone shows characteristics of having an attitude problem. It’s quite rare that we say someone has a good attitude, an attitude that is something that we want to emulate in our lives, or have our children or friends, or even ourselves try to emulate that example and say, you should have that attitude. In Matthew chapter 18, we run into what has to be, even though in parable form, one of the least popular examples of a person throughout the Bible. In Matthew chapter 18, just about anyone with any semblance of a good and honest heart looks at the character in Matthew chapter 18 in the parable of Jesus, beginning in verse 23, and has a pretty universal dislike for one of these servants.

In Matthew chapter 18, beginning in verse 21, though, Peter has a question for Jesus, and he says, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Translation, how often do I have to forgive my brothers? How often when they do me wrong, do I have to have an attitude of forgiveness? How often, when I am not given what I am owed, or am given something that I am not owed, do I have to forgive to move forward and to be okay with that? Of course, Jesus’ answer in verse 22, I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times. For actually translation says 70 times, seven times. And the point was you are to always forgive. Jesus wasn’t putting a cap at 77 or 490 times.

The point is you have to forgive continually. Always. I think that’s hard. Because when we think about the parable of Matthew chapter 18, certainly as we study it this morning, we’re going to see that God has forgiven us a great deal. And perhaps you prayed already this morning. Please, Lord, forgive me of my sins. Help me to be righteous in your side. Even at the 9 o’clock hour in the sermon that was preached, we are to be holy as God is holy. And knowing and being fully aware that we don’t live up to that perfect standard of holiness, that is having a lack of any filth or stain from sin at all. We need forgiveness. And in Matthew chapter 18, we’re going to see this parable about a king, a king’s servant, and that servant’s servant.

And they learn a lesson in forgiveness, not only from Jesus in parable form, not only in his conclusion in verse 35, when Jesus says, So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.

And not just how I can somehow ascertain forgiveness from God, how I can kind of check off enough boxes to make sure God forgives me, but I want to examine this morning our attitude towards forgiveness. Because I know this.

Is that I don’t always show that level of forgiveness, mercy, patience and kindness towards others. Yes, I might to a select few who are close to me, or yes, I might for the first couple times, depending on how well I know somebody. But do I have an attitude of patience, an attitude of forgiveness? We will see in Matthew chapter 18 as we begin reading this parable in verse 23 that there was one character that did and one that did not. In Matthew chapter 18 and verse 23, as Jesus is further answering Peter’s question from verse 21, he says, Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talons.

And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children, and all that he had in payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. Now, with pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. And seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe. So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, have patience with me, and I will pay you. He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed. And they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you? And in his anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. And again, read with me, verse 35. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. You see, the truth about forgiveness is not only that we all need it, of course, God does not, but his creation, we all need it.

1. The King Forgave Him the Unpayable Debt

But at the end of verse 35, this attitude of forgiveness that we’re to have is not some sort of phony checklist item where we tell somebody, I forgive you. We have to meet it. We have to do it. And where does it spring from at the end of verse 35? From our hearts. Consider the parable with me, though, as we examine the hearts and we see the impact of each of these. We see really three characters. First of all, you have the king in verse 23, Jesus says, The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who is going to settle accounts with his servants. Of course, we run into that first servant, and this is the servant who is owing the king in verse 24 10,000 talents.

There are all kinds of measures for how much exactly this equated to.

Estimates on how much this would be in money range from the millions to the billions to even the trillions. And this is the debt that this servant had to the king. Here’s the point not the number, not the number of value, not the number of years. The point is that unpayable debt.

And yet his claim in verse 26, when this debt is called into fruition, in verse 26 is Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. The king is certainly no fool. The king knows what the debt is. It’s noted in the parable that Jesus tells in verse 24, it was a 10,000 talent debt. And the king, despite knowing this is unpayable, despite knowing that the servant’s claim is fruitless, even if his ambition is true and sincere. In verse 27, the king is noted to have pity for him. And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him. And forgave him the debt. Can I get you to key in on verse 27 for a minute? The master not only released him, he not only removed him from the physical consequences of this debt, which he could not repay, he not only avoided that which the servant deserved, including his wife and his children along with him, but what does the end of verse 27 say?

And forgave him the debt. He wiped it clean. That 10,000 talent debt, that 200,000 years of service, those millions and billions of dollars worth of value that the king was owed, he wiped clean, just like that. That is an amazing story of compassion, of pity you see in verse 27 that he had for him. The king did not have to do that. And yet the king did, and so this is a wonderful story. This is a powerful example. Of course, we can see the idea of God being the king who has forgiven us the unpayable debt. This is a mighty, powerful truth. This is how we serve a loving God. We can see that we have sinned, and yet God makes a way possible through the death of his son that we might be forgiven, wiped clean, appearing righteous in his sight.

2. The Servant Who Was Forgiven Would Not Be Forgiving

This is powerful, this is wonderful. Our God is great. And this king is wonderful in being forgiving. But then the story continues, and we run into another servant. What we’ll call, just for the sake of clarity, the fellow servant. And in verse 28, it said, when that same servant went out, the one who was forgiven, the unpayable debt, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. Now remember, not only did the king forgive him, what did the king do in verse 27? He released him and forgave him the debt. Let’s see what the servant does with his fellow servant. In verse 28, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. That is about a hundred days’ wages.

That is a payable debt. And as he found him, what does he do? He seizes him and began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe. This is the opposite of compassion. The opposite of love. Can I just say that this has to be one of the least liked characters in the Bible story? You see why in verse 29, his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, had patience with me, and I will pay you. This is a genuine and true claim. With patience, he could have been repaid. But in verse 30, the servant who was forgiven would not be forgiving. He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. Now stop for a minute. We all dislike this servant who has forgiven his debt but would not forgive his fellow servant’s debt.

We think this is an outrage. This is a crime. How can he have such little compassion? How can he be like that? How can he lack love and understanding and perspective of what he had just been forgiven?

And then if I’m vulnerably honest, I realize that sometimes I am that servant. There’s a day pass in which, as a Christian, we don’t ask God for forgiveness. Or at the very least, guidance to avoid sin and temptation, that which would bring us down away from the holiness of God, away from the blameless appeal and garment that we are to be wearing. And yet I have to think, not just in terms of somebody striking me or spitting on me or being rude to me, but do I have an attitude of forgiveness? Or do I think I need to be like God as it pertains to God’s justice? Because you know what sometimes my biggest excuse is, and perhaps someone has shared this, when somebody does something to me, when somebody owes me something, you might say, you could look at this text and say, perhaps the claim we make, you could say, you know what?

That fellow servant did owe the king’s servant that debt. It did need to be repaid, and it apparently was fully within the law and his jurisdiction. Maybe not to seize him and choke him, that’s a little rough. But certainly it was within his power to have this man jailed. That seems to be the working law of Matthew chapter 18 at large. He got what was coming to him, we might say. Do I ever, do we ever excuse our lack of forgiveness, our lack of compassion on justice? We say, well, God’s a just God, he will judge. Certainly, if they’re guilty, we should punish them. If they’re guilty, they should be bound up by the law. And yet, if we were to act like that before God, we would be strung up by the law.

We would have no hope, and without forgiveness, we would be above all to be most pitied. We would have nothing if not forgiveness from God. That is the case. That is the fact of the matter. Every single day, as a Christian or someone who wants to learn about God and be part of the body of Christ, we do this knowing not only that God is, but that to please God, and if we do please him, we follow his word, we can be forgiven. We need God every single day. And if that is true, how dare I ever call for anything but equal compassion, forgiveness and mercy. God is the judge. God will handle those who violate his law. You look at the Old Testament long enough, you can see that.

Frank, you frankly, you look at the New Testament, and you can see that. God will judge those who violate his law. Christians should be among the most compassionate, frankly, the most compassionate base of people in the world today. Because we are to be like our Savior, who is the most compassionate man, God there is. Jesus came at the will of God. And as a man, he was compassionate, being crucified on the cross for my sin, so that I could be forgiven of my unpayable debt. This fellow servant owed a hundred denarii a debt that was repayable. And he was treated by being seized, choked, and threatened and jailed. Consider, though, of course, the fellow servants acted perhaps as we would in reading this story in verse 31.

When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master. They went back to the king and said, Here is what happened. And his master summoned him and said, You wicked servant, do you not know what I have done for you? I forgave you all the debt. I forgave you your unpayable bill that was due. Should not you have had mercy, verse 33, on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you. Because of this king’s servant’s lack of compassion, forgiveness, kindness, and love. What was the result? Verse 34. In his anger as master delivered him to the jailers, the torturers, until he should pay all his debt. When was that debt going to be repaid?

It would not be repaid. And verse 35, a third time. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. This is serious business that we’re learning about. We need to realize in the story who the characters are. The king is obviously God. We all owe him an unpayable debt. The wages of sin is death. Yes, Jesus died on the cross for our sins, but it’s only because of the mercy and grace of God that that plan of salvation is there for us, that God wants us to be reconciled to him, that God provided a way for us to be holy and blameless before him and in his sight. And we need to live out that understanding every day.

3. Forgiveness Is Conditional

By the way, not just in recognizing other people, but first and foremost, praising and thanking God that we have not only a breath to take to live, but that we have forgiveness and mercy from our God who owes us nothing. In fact, if we get what is coming to us, if we get what is owed, we would deserve and gain death. Consider with me a few points, though, and the truth about forgiveness this morning. Forgiveness is conditional, and it is conditional upon two ideas. You could perhaps name more. But look with me in 1 John chapter 1. In 1 John chapter 1 and verse 9, we see that sincere confession is a necessary aspect of forgiveness, at least as it pertains to ourselves and God. And certainly that is the focus of 1 John chapter 1 and verse 9.

When we consider if we need to have this forgiveness of God, this is of the utmost importance, because if we’re not going to forgive others, it doesn’t matter if we’re not even forgiven by God to begin with. So how do we be made right with God if we are a Christian and we have violated God’s will? In 1 John chapter 1 and verse 9, if we confess our sins, he, God, is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Our God is great. In 1 John chapter 1 and verse 9, we see God is faithful, and do you note this word, he is just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God’s justice is upheld, all the while showing mercy and compassion.

They are not opposites. God can show justice and yet be forgiving. A point we might want to take into consideration. But you consider, secondly, if we are forgiven, if we want to remain in that state pleasing to God, consider the prayer of Jesus in Matthew chapter 6. We read it in Matthew chapter 18 and verse 35 many times. There is a condition of forgiveness. But in Matthew chapter 6, Jesus says it again. In Matthew chapter 6 and verse 14, if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. In verse 15, the warning. If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Do you see the problem here? In verse 14 and 15, Jesus reflexively covers both sides.

If you want to be forgiven by your heavenly Father, you must what? Forgive others. If you do not forgive others, you will not be forgiven by God. That’s a major problem. If my forgiveness is conditional upon not only sincere confession and sincere relationship with God, but also how I forgive others, I better fix that now. If I have a problem with bitterness and unforgiveness and not being loving towards others, this is not something to wait on. This is not a 10-year goal. This is a today goal. Because without forgiving others, I will not be forgiven. And if I will not be forgiven by God, again, I am above all to be most pitied. I will be separated from my God for all of eternity, if and when Jesus comes.

4. The Main Loser Is Us

Consider another truth about forgiveness is that the only loser in this scenario in the lack of giving forgiveness, the main loser, as it pertains to our worldview, is us. Consider the fellow servant who owed the 100 denarii. Yes, he was punished. But as it pertains to the king’s servant, what happened to him? The king’s servant not only was not repaid, but he was jailed, handed over to the torture until he should repay the debt which he could not repay. When you consider in Matthew chapter 18 and verse 35, we realize we will not be forgiven. That’s a problem. And look in Colossians chapter 3. Of course, we know Colossians chapter 3 is the idea of setting our mind on things that are above. And in verse 5, we see we’re to put to death that which is earthly in us, that which is fleshly.

But in verse 12, you see what we are to put on. How are Christians to be characterized? Colossians chapter 3 and verse 12 beginning. Put on them as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Can I impress upon us all this morning that forgiveness of others is a must? This is not an option. If we don’t, we will not be with God forever. We will be separated from Him for all of eternity. But can I add a second point in Ephesians chapter 4? In Ephesians chapter 4, notice in verse 31, in verse 32, we see another idea, another time given that we’re to be kind to another, forgiving one another.

But what precedes that? And this is a problem too. Not only before our standing before God, but you want to have a good life here now. You want to have good relationships that work. You want to not be eaten away at both spiritually and physically? Note the words of Paul in Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 31. See this in Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 31 beginning. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. What is the basis for all of this love, this compassion, this kindness as God shows and has shown us? If we don’t forgive, not only will we not be forgiven, we will suffer in this life.

5. We Need Forgiveness From Others

Who enjoys being bitter? Who benefits from being bitter? Nobody wins when we violate God’s will. Not here and not then. We will not stand with bitter hearts. It’s going to eat away, it’ll tear away relationships, it will cause problems. We must be forgiving, kind, loving towards one another. And of course, it’s obvious because the basis of this is that we need forgiveness from God. But can I add something we haven’t said yet? All of us have needed and will need, may currently need forgiveness from others. In Matthew chapter 5, consider with me what Jesus says about worship, yes, but the idea is clear. Yes, in Matthew chapter 18, the idea was if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault alone in private.

So if your brother has sinned against you, you should go to him to try to gain your brother. But the other path should be trodded too. Matthew chapter 5 and verse 23, Jesus says, So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift, therefore before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. What are we to do if someone has something against us? If we have wronged someone, we are to go to them. Really, if you examine the Bible pattern, we should meet in the middle, frankly. But consider we are going to need forgiveness from others. If I were to ask a show of hands, which I am not and will not, over who has needed forgiveness from another person in this life, every honest, sincere-hearted person in here would raise their hand, perhaps both.

Because the truth is we’re not perfect. And when you consider the parable in Matthew chapter 18 and verse 32 through 34, is it that exact reasoning that the king gives. He doesn’t make some sort of spiritual platitude, although that can be pulled out. Jesus makes that clear in verse 35. But what is the basis of the king scolding his servant? In verse 32, his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. You needed forgiveness, and I gave it to you. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you. I wonder if we really took seriously the golden rule, treating others the way we want to be treated, is the way we think about it.

If we thought truly about the forgiveness that God offers us every day, or we even pondered the thought that there are times when I’m in the wrong, that I have needed others’ forgiveness, how much more changed our heart would be. How much more compassionate, kind, humble we would be. It would be not only a game changer, but a life changer and an eternal life changer, because we need forgiveness from God and others. And to have that and to do that, we need to forgive others. So God will forgive us. But also we need to just have the perspective that nobody is perfect, starting with, including, and perhaps especially me. So we need to work together, not apart. We cannot let bitterness divide us. But we must stand together as God’s people, seeking only Jesus and Christ’s truth.

6. View Others the Way I Want God to View Me

The truth about having an attitude of forgiveness is that it’s easy to understand. The perspective is clear. We all do, we all do need forgiveness from God and others. We all know that this is the right thing to do, but sometimes it’s kind of hard to practice because if I ask this question, I wonder what my honest response would be. Do I view others, not just people in the assembly this morning, not just fellow Christians, do I view others of God’s creation the way I want God to view me? In 2 Samuel chapter 12, turn with me quickly there. I do want to see this truth this morning. As we move towards concluding our lesson, consider 2 Samuel chapter 12. And perhaps you know as we’re turning there that this is the story of when Nathan has confronted David on his sin with Bathsheba and Uriah.

And in 2 Samuel chapter 12, he is made guilty. In verse 7, Nathan points to David and says, You are the man, pointing out David’s sin, that he was the one who was in the wrong against God. But look at verse 13. This is powerful. This is our God. In verse 13, David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said to David, The Lord also has put away your sin. You shall not die. What David did was terrible. It was horrible. You could say directly or indirectly, it doesn’t matter. He was involved in adultery. He was involved in lust. He was involved in murder. Certainly not showing love and compassion towards his fellow neighbor, towards his fellow creation. But in verse 13, David sincerely confesses that he had sinned against God.

And what was God’s response? You will not die. God was willing to forgive. In verse 13, David said, I have sinned. And in the same verse, God is willing to say, I’ve forgiven you. Certainly Psalm 51 and other passages show that David’s confession is much more than one simple line saying, I confess that I have sinned before God. There certainly is more to it. But the fact is we know God is a forgiving God. God doesn’t wait around and say, all right, well, if they run through enough hoops, if they show me a 10-year pattern of retribution and they give back to me what is owed, then I’ll forgive them, then I’ll trust them. That is not God. It’s not the way I want God to view me.

The problem is sometimes, if we’re honest, isn’t that the way we view one another? Kind of think, well, they burned me. I’m not going to give them another chance. I can’t believe they did that to me. Would you believe that? Perhaps we burn them in another way. We try to get revenge. We try to exercise our justice. Can I drive home? A difficult but total truth. Even people who are overseas, equally striving with all of their zeal and passion that we may be trying to serve God with, serving other gods, coming after other people. They are God’s creation too. Yes, God in Romans chapter 13 created a government that is designed to detract and keep people from committing those crimes, and there is justice and punishment for what people have done.

And as you see in verse 14 of this chapter, just because God has forgiven you does not remove the physical consequences of our sin. But we need to have compassion on others. And it is never a good day to us as God’s people, because it is never a good day to the Lord when people die or permanently have turned their hearts away from God and will not have forgiveness. If we are like God, we are loving and wishing that all may come to repentance. Not all who look like us, not all who act like us, not all in our area, not all who are similar to us in many conceivable ways. All should come to repentance. That is God’s wish. As Christians, we need to examine our hearts.

Are we rooting against people? Or are we rooting against their sin? We like to say there’s a difference. And there is. But we need to examine ourselves to say, do I view others the way I want God to view me? Or frankly, do I generously offer mercy and forgiveness? Or do I often generously offer justice and revenge instead? Perhaps we’re like that ugly picture of Jonah in Jonah chapter 3 and verse 10, after Jonas finally comes to the people of Nineveh after foolishly trying to flee from the sight of the Lord in chapter 1 and his prayer and incident in chapter 2. And chapter 3, Jonah comes before the people of Nineveh, and he says, You will be overthrown, you will be destroyed if you do not repent.

These Gentiles, these pagan Ninevites, you must turn to God. And it is shocking, it is powerful. It is amazing that not only was God willing to forgive them, but that they repented. And that God did forgive them. He relented of the disaster that was going to come upon them. And in Jonah chapter 4, this prophet of God sulks. He is upset. He is frustrated. In large part, if not entirely, because he knew God would forgive them. That’s not like God. I can’t be like that. I have to be different. I have to be better. I have to be like God. In Matthew chapter 18, I hope you’ll turn there with me one more time as we conclude this morning’s lesson. We need to consider that it’s not just about when someone comes up to us and says, I’m sorry that we forgive them.

Conclusion

But we need to have a heart that generously is throwing out love, throwing out mercy, throwing out compassion, because that’s who our God is, and that’s who the God we want to serve is. We are blessed to have that sort of God. Yes, please let me underline one more time. God is just. God can, will, has, and forever will be arbiter of justice, and will punish those who violate his law. But that is not our role. That is God’s. Our role in Matthew chapter 18 and verse 35. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. My role is to be forgiving, as I want God to have forgiven me. This is a powerful passage.

And yes, the parable is simple and clear, but the application is tough. Maybe my heart has not been right. Maybe I have been rooting for people’s ill and violence to come upon them or the law to catch them and to give them what they have coming to them. But we need to remember Jesus died on the cross for our sins. He gave up his body, he shed his blood, he was beaten, humiliated, scorned, and spat upon so that I would not get what I deserve. Jesus is our Savior. God is our powerful, loving Heavenly Father. Let’s emphasize the characteristics of God that He commands of us. We must be willing to forgive our brothers. Consider this morning, if you’re not a Christian, that God is the forgiving King.

God is the one who wishes that all would come to repentance, that all would seek his good news, and that is the good news, the gospel is the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes. If you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, if you are willing to make that confession, change your life of sin, repent, turn from the life of wrong, commit to God, including showing love towards all of God’s creation. You can be baptized into his body, into his death, burial, and resurrection, rising again, not just being released, but being forgiven. What God has promised will always come to pass. God is faithful. God has offered forgiveness. Will you take it today? Consider maybe you’re a Christian this morning and you have not had the right heart.

But know that 1 John chapter 1 and verse 9 stands clear. If you confess your sins to God, He is faithful and just, not only to forgive us of our sins, but to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Make things right with God today. Don’t wait. Forgiveness is crucial. Forgiveness is everything. Obeying God, being his servant is our entire purpose. If we can help you in any way, please God, serve him or come to him. Do so now as we stand and sing the invitation song.