Love Defined Pt 1 of 2

Introduction

Good morning to everyone. Welcome to our visitors and welcome to all who are here. You might turn your Bibles to uh 1 Corinthians chapter 13. We’ll begin there in a few minutes. And I just want to say by way of introduction that I am thrilled at the time that I have been here. And it has been a humbling experience. And I want to say that as all of us know, as the elders have very lovingly and very gently encouraged me to find a place I would be excited to work. I want to say that I agree with the elders’ decision. And I told them that from the very moment that they said that to me. That this congregation, I really do believe, and I think you will see in time, really does need someone who has more experience than I have and more of an ability to really take up the very unique uh opportunities that are provided in this area.

And I’m just not there yet. And the elders will explain much more, and you will see that it makes a lot of sense if you will attend after uh services are over, uh, after a few minutes when they regether. And I want to I want to tell you, I don’t feel slighted in one in uh one tiny degree at all. Uh instead, I feel loved, and they were very gentle with me and willing to work with me, and and as was announced, gave me up to a year. And it just so happened that Palm Springs Drive uh came to me very soon afterwards when they didn’t even know, and the opportunity was there, and they were in a hurry to have someone. They’ve been looking for a while.

And they really need me. And I felt like that that was the best thing. And I think it’ll be the best on both sides. But I appreciate so much your support. I’m not the one who needs your support at this time. The elders are. And so I encourage us all to remember that we are a flock who has shepherds, who see things that we don’t, and who have decisions to make that are often very difficult. And I believe they’ve made a wise one. And they need our not only our support, but our respect.

Now, in the immediate context, chapters 12 through 14, we see this emphasis on supernatural spiritual gifts like miracles of healing and prophecy and speaking in tongues. And the brethren had the wrong attitude toward these gifts and towards one another. Well, I’ve got a better gift than you have. And there was jealousy that was that was going on, and they were not doing all things for edification. They were just being spiritual show-offs. And so at the end of chapter 12, in verse thirty-one, Paul says, But earnestly desire the greater gifts, and I show you a still more excellent way. So we see that more excellent way as we press into chapter 13. If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol.

If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries, and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. You see, his point is that, brethren, you’re you’re missing the point about these spiritual gifts. It doesn’t matter what gift you might have, it doesn’t matter to what extent you might give yourself in service of God, if you don’t have love, you’re wasting your time. And you are nothing. Those are strong words. Love is everything in a way. And so not only is it the heart of 1 Corinthians, but it’s the heart of the gospel message as well.

And so, Paul then in verses 4 through 7 gives us 15 characteristics of love. And we see love defined here. Love is patient. Love is kind and is not jealous. Love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. What a beautiful section of scripture. These fifteen facets of love you might think of as fifteen facets of a diamond. And we’re looking at the same thing just from different angles. In Greek, all fifteen of these facets are in verbal form. They’re verbs. Now, some of these in our English versions are adjectives, but in the original they’re all verbs, which is the idea of action.

You know, Paul’s emphasis is not so much on what love is, but on what love does, how love behaves. And in fact, these are all in the present continuous tense in the Greek, which means that these are actions that must become habitual. And these verses perfectly describe Jesus. Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind and is not jealous. Jesus does not brag and is not arrogant, and so forth. Do they describe you? John Wilman did a very good Wednesday night invitation one time. Could we put our name in the place of love here? And for that to be an accurate description of who we are. Brethren, that that’s what we’ve got to be able to say to do. Paul here was writing, not as a theologian or as a technician, but as a practitioner.

And what God is after is He is after more than instruction, He’s after transformation. And that’s what I want us to do as we look at these 15 facets of love. We’re going to try to look at the first seven this morning, Lord willing, and then next Sunday, my last sermon before the teen weekend comes, and then I’ll be at Palm Springs Drive, we will look at the rest of these facets of love. You know, this chapter is regarded as a warm, fuzzy chapter. We’ve got these verses, verses four through seven cross-stitched on pillows, and we read it at weddings and stuff, and that’s good, but it’s actually not a cozy chapter, is it? I I mean, these verses here are challenging. And I want us to challenge ourselves as we read through them.

1. Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind

Now, first, we see love described positively in the first two characteristics that are listed. Love is patient, love is kind. Now you might think of those two as the two pillars of love. If you do not express patience and kindness to your fellow man, you are not showing love for them. And when my children aren’t showing love for each other in the home, I will often stop and say, Now I want you to tell me what love is. Love is patient. Love is kind and is not jealous. They know these verses. We practice them, we memorize them. So it’s one thing to know it, it’s another thing to do it. So let’s focus first on love is patient. The King James Version says, Charity suffereth long.

Now, if you ever wonder why we don’t use the King James Version as much today, I can’t think of a better example of that. Because if I told you charity suffereth long, I’m going to need to spend the next five minutes explaining to you that what that means is love is patient. That’s what it means. This patience here is not patience with circumstances, though that’s necessary, but patience with people. All of these characteristics of love that are described are characteristics of love in terms of how we deal with one another, and specifically in the context, dealing with our brethren who are sometimes knuckleheads. I mean, let’s be honest. Sometimes we make very loud noises. Sometimes we rub one another the wrong way.

Any congregation of which you work with these individuals and you’re with them often, there is inevitably going to be some rubbing of the wrong way, some getting on your nerves that will occur. Chrysostom said that this word here, translated patience, describes someone who was wronged and who has it easily in his power to avenge himself, but does not do so. I think of the song that we sang. I asked Jim to lead that song, 10,000 Angels. That was my favorite song since I was a kid. He could have called 10,000 angels to destroy the world and set him free. He could have done that, but he didn’t because he was weak. No. You see, we’re not talking here about weakness, we’re talking about meekness. We’re not talking about the lack of the passion to respond, but we’re talking about the holding back of that passion and keeping it in check.

This condition of love, this characteristic of love, is totally unconditional. It chooses to love another, not because of what they’ve done for you, but in spite of what they’ve done to you. This characteristic of love understands the frailty. It doesn’t demand potential in people and doesn’t demand instant maturity or growth. The Christians at Corinth were not operating in that way. They weren’t being patient with one another. In fact, they were suing one another. Because they had been wronged, and they were taking one another to court. They were offending one another’s conscience without any regard for how that would affect their brethren. They had no patience with one another. Patience was not attractive to the average Greek person. Aristotle taught that the great Greek virtue was the refusal to tolerate insult or injury and to strike back in retaliation at the slightest offense.

That was a real man. That was a hero, an avenger. That’s the kind of person that the Greek culture looked up to. And that’s the same way our society is. You just look at the political world right now, this attitude of if you hit me, I’ll hit back ten times harder. And that’s regarded as an admirable trait. That’s not how Jesus was. Jesus was patient. First Peter 2 and verse 23. And while being reviled, he did not revile in return. While suffering, he uttered no threats, but kept entrusting himself to him who judges righteously. God was patient. 2 Peter 3 9, the Lord is not slack concerning his promises, some count slackness, but is long suffering or patient toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

Every day that the sun rises, every day that the earth continues to spin around and that life continues to exist, is only possible because God’s patience is allowing it to happen. Because he wants more people to come to the truth. Robert Ingersoll was a famous atheist years ago. And in speeches that he would do all over the place, it was his hallmark to say, I’m going to give God five minutes to strike me down for the things I’m saying. And he would start his timer. At the end of five minutes, he would stop his timer and use the fact that God did not strike him down as evidence that God must not exist. One perceptive individual said, Did Mr. Ingersoll think that he could exhaust the patience of the eternal God in five minutes?

Our God is patient. Jesus was patient. And you and I, if we are to be people of love, must be people of patience. And remember that it is a verb in the Greek, so we must practice patience. We must suffer long. Love is patient. Secondly, love is kind. Love is kind. You know, the Corinthians were not being kind to one another. Really, patience and kindness respectively describe our passive and active responses toward one another. Patience passively refuses to act in the same fashion. Kindness proactively acts with good deeds. There wasn’t any of that going on at Corinth. You know, kindness doesn’t take much effort, but it does take intention. I read about a church whose entire evangelistic program really revolved around and was structured around the idea of random acts of kindness.

And on a given Saturday, the members would come together and go out into the community, and you might be washing someone’s windows or mowing someone’s yard or giving someone a ride, and simply after you’re finished, leaving a card with the church information on it. That has a real power and a real impact. We need a lot more kindness in our world. Kindness is a powerful medicine for a hurting world and for a hurting church. Many people will remember acts of kindness forever. Letters that have been handwritten to me that are so heartfelt, I have kept and remembered for years. You can probably remember gifts that people have given you from their heart. Years ago, you will never ever forget. Abraham Lincoln had a man that didn’t appreciate him by the name of Edwin Stanton, who called Lincoln a low cunning clown and nicknamed him the original gorilla.

Lincoln later appointed Stanton as his secretary of war. And someone asked Lincoln, why did you appoint that man as your secretary of war when he calls you a low-cunning clown and the original gorilla? And Lincoln’s reply was he is the best man for the job. I will treat him with every courtesy. Later, when Lincoln was shot and his body taken into the stateroom, Stanton was found looking down on Lincoln and saying through his tears, there lies the greatest ruler of men the world has ever known. Kindness can break down the thickest of barriers and went over the hardest of hearts. Romans 12, 20 and 21, says, But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink, for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. And kindness is one of the best ways to do that. Love is kind. The next seven characteristics that are listed, and we won’t be able to finish even this section here, are negative descriptions here. Love described in negative terms. What love is not. And we see seven verbs here, the longest section within this whole description of love. And I think it’s no accident that Paul uses so many negatives to describe love to the Corinthians, because I think it was as if he was saying, you know, love is not jealous like you brethren are. Love does not brag like you, brethren do. Love is not arrogant like you brethren are, and so forth. And really, when you think about it, the most honorable traits of an individual are so often the things that he or she does not do.

2. Love Does Not Envy

So, what does love not do? First of all, love does not envy. Whoops. Love does not envy. The word here, translated envy or jealous or jealousy in your version, can be used in a positive or a negative way, depending on its context. The same word is translated zealous in some contexts and jealous in others, or envy or envious. And so, even in those two words, zealous and jealous, you can see in etymological connection there. And so the brethren at Corinth, oh man, they were filled with jealousy. They didn’t understand that the parts of the body that seemed to be less important were actually necessary and deserve greater honor. Look with me in chapter 12 in verses 20 through 25, where Paul says, But now there are many members, but one body.

And the eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of you. Now that’s kind of a bizarre picture. Imagine an eye talking to the hand. Or again, the head to the feet. I have no need of you. On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. And those members of the body which we deem less honorable on those we bestow more abundant honor. And our less presentable members become much more presentable, whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to the member which lacked, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.

There was jealousy. I want to ask you, ask yourself, how do you feel at the news of another person’s success over yours? Kids, you know, when your friend is picked for the team and you’re not. Or when your friend gets the A plus and you get the C minus. Or even us who are grown-ups, you know, when it is our sibling who gets to live in the 5,000 square foot ranch home and we’re stuck in our eight hundred square foot apartment. Does your heart long for what they have with an envious attitude? I I think really there are two kinds of envy. The first is just straightforward envy. This is the kind that wants what other people have. But the second kind is, I think, far worse and more subtle.

It is the kind that doesn’t so much want what they have, but just hate the fact that they have it. You just don’t want them having it. Meanness of soul can sink no further than that, as one has said. I think a good illustration of this is Solomon as king has these two harlots to come before him, both claiming that this child was her own. And his solution was, let’s just cut the child in half, give one half to one and one half to the other. And the one that was not the real mother basically said, That’ll be just fine with me. You see, it wasn’t so much that she wanted a child, she just didn’t want the other woman having it. A church that has that attitude will self-destruct.

3. Love Does Not Boast

And a Christian who has that attitude will also be ruined. Proverbs 14, 30, a heart at peace gives lift to the body, but envy rots the bones. So love does not envy. Fourthly, love does not boast. Or as the King James Version says, love vaunteth not itself. So, brethren, vaunt not thyself. What does that mean? It means don’t be a braggart. Don’t boast. Oh, Corinth had a real problem with this. Uh they were spiritual show offs. My wisdom is better, my spiritual gift is better, my teacher is better. Look at 1 Corinthians 4 and verse 7 at what Paul says there. He says, For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?

If there is anything in us that is of any value, it is because God has given it to us. What right do we have to boast in ourselves? The only one we have a right to boast in is God and his Son, Jesus Christ. The loving person who is successful does not seek a platform upon which to parade his or her accomplishments. Now that’s not what society tells you. Our society has the attitude, as Dizzy Dean once said, it ain’t bragging if you can do it. Or Muhammad Ali, it’s not bragging if you can back it up. Oh, well, let’s just take our advice from Muhammad Ali and Dizzy Dean. Let’s just tell the world we’re the greatest and the prettiest and the most magnificent thing that could ever be imagined.

4. Love Is Not Arrogant, Not Puffed Up

That’s like having a shop teacher with missing fingers. You know, if we take advice from people like that, it’s like having a dentist with missing teeth. Are we going to take advice from our society on boasting? In politics, we see it. I’m the best. No, I’m the best. No, no one’s ever been better than me. Arrogance. In religion, modern-day Pharisees sound the trumpet before them as they do their deeds of righteousness so that they can be seen of men. Why do certain people only find themselves happy when they are in the spotlight? Love is not constantly anxious to impress. True love will always be far more impressed with its own unworthiness than with its own merit. Love does not boast. Fifth, love is not arrogant. While boasting is pride acting outwards in relation to other people, arrogance is pride acting inward in relation to oneself.

In fact, I like how the King James words it instead of is not arrogant, it says, is not puffed up. Puffed up. Really, the Greek word indicates that. It’s the idea of to inflate by blowing. That’s what the word means. So when we talk about people with a big head, that’s, you know, they’ve just blown it up too big. The Corinthians were puffed up. In fact, of all their problems of heart, I think that the fact that they were puffed up is maybe the worst or one of the worst. Because the word translated puffed up or arrogant is found seven times in the Bible. Five of those are in 1 Corinthians. I just want to glance with you at those. Look at chapter 4 and verse 6, 1 Corinthians 4 and verse 6.

Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sake, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become puffed up or arrogant in behalf of one against the other. Look at verse 18. Now some have become puffed up as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you, verse 19, if the Lord wills, I shall find and I shall find out not the words of those who are puffed up, but their power. Chapter 5 and verse 2, you have become puffed up and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst. And then the other time we see it is the verse we’ve already looked at in 1 Corinthians chapter 13.

We don’t need to be like the Corinthians who are puffing themselves up. We need to be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Romans 12, 16. William Carey was a man who had a great intellect. He had translated Scripture in 24 Indian dialects. He went to India in very humble and poor circumstances. And he was looked down upon greatly because he didn’t come from the right background. He came from the background of a shoemaker, a shoe shop. So someone at a dinner party tried to insult him by calling him a shoemaker. And Carey’s reply was, oh no, I am a shoeminder, not a shoemaker. The man thought that he would put Carey down, but Carey put himself even lower.

5. Love Is Not Rude

In a world that exalts fat heads and windbags. It’s hard not to join the crowd. But arrogance has a big head, while love has a big heart. Love is concerned to give itself, not to assert itself. Love is not arrogant. Number six, love is not rude. The Corinthians were just being plain rude to one another, forming clicks and divisions, and leaving other people out, putting other people’s abilities down, even obviously gossiping about Paul. The New American standard, instead of saying is not rude, says, does not act unbecomingly. We’re talking here about common courtesy, which in our day and age is not so common. Our culture calls it courtesy, but Paul calls it love. Yes, we need to use our manners. In our speech, please, thank you, excuse me.

I remember as a karate student coming up that my instructor as a kid would make me do push-ups if I didn’t say yes, sir, no, sir, yes, ma’am, no, ma’am. At home, he would find out from my mom and dad. Of course I always did. Apologies, consideration for others, table manners. By the way, I was kidding. I didn’t always act the best, okay. Answering the phone with politeness, how to behave while you’re in worship services, even traveling in the car. I uh it will never cease to amaze me at the four-way stop at Bumby and Pershing that so often two cars will stop almost at the same time, and one of them will wave nicely for the other to go, and the other will wave you go, and then the waving continues until finally one of them is waving furiously, just saying, Would you go already?

6. Love Is Not Self-Seeking

And I think now that started out as a thing of politeness, and it turned out to be a fit of anger. Where is common courtesy in our society? Where it’s not uncommon for a people to just shout angrily, as we saw recently when the Florida governor entered Starbucks and was cursed at and yelled at. Is that acceptable behavior? Proverbs 27 14 says, He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. That’s not a real blessing, is it? Just common courtesy. William Barclay said, There is a graciousness in Christian love, which never forgets that courtesy and tact and politeness are lovely things. Finally, love is not self-seeking. The Corinthians were selfish, as they were demanding their rights without any regard to what was best or what was good for others.

They were competing against one another. Even in chapter 11, Paul talks about how they were hurrying to eat the Lord’s supper to fill their tummies and leaving their other brethren out. It’s ridiculous. They really did have the attitude of, you know, the seagulls on finding Nemo. Remember that? Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. That was their attitude. And that’s so often the attitude that our culture has. It’s all about what’s mine. It’s all about my rights. Paul did not have that attitude. Paul was willing to give up his rights. He was willing to give up the right of eating meat if it caused some to be offended because there were some who thought eating meat sacrificed to idols was wrong. So Paul said, if I have to give up eating meat for the benefit of my brother, I’ll do it.

He even in chapter 9 talked about that he had the right to be married, he and Barnabas, but they gave up that right. Paul gave up that right for the good of the gospel. True love is always unselfish. In 1 Corinthians 10 and verses 23 and 24, Paul says, all things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own good but that of his neighbor. We need to remember to do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind, consider others better than yourselves. Look out not only for your own needs, but also for the needs of others. When my children argue, I don’t mean that they always argue and act bad.

I want you to know I think my children are very good kids, but they’re kids. They argue, I get to go first. No, me, no me. Or that’s not your toy, it’s mine. No, it’s mine. I tell them, now listen, you should be arguing. You get to play with a toy. I don’t need it. No, no, no, you. Or you get to go first. I don’t have to. No, you please go first. That’s the kind of arguing I want to see my kids doing. And that the attitude that we as adults and as Christians should have is demand that somebody else gets put before me. That’s the attitude Jesus had. Jesus said that he came not to be served, but to serve and to give his life a ransom for many.

Conclusion

He put himself below all of us. And he’s the Son of God. He said in John 15, 13, greater love has no one than this. That one lay down his life for his friends. You talk about selflessness. Talk about putting other people first. Jesus was the perfect example of that. We’re going to continue these characteristics, Lord willing. Next week at the 11 hour. As we consider these first seven, I want you to ask yourself if you could honestly say of yourself, I am patient. I am kind. I am not jealous. I do not boast, and am not arrogant, I am not rude, I am not selfish. Because if you can’t say that honestly, there’s a problem in your character. And you’re not being loving. We need to be able to say, as Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11 and verse 1, therefore be imitators of me, just as I am of Christ Jesus.

And if we imitate Christ Jesus, then we will, by default, be people who behave with love for the world and love for one another, even in times that are difficult. And I think that’s really the answer that we all need. Would you bow your head with me in a word of prayer? Our Father and our God, we’re sorry when we’re unloving. I’m sorry. We pray that you would forgive us, have grace with us as we strive to become more like your son. And as we strive to put these facets of love into action in our hearts and in our lives, and that these things will become habitual for us. It is through your son that we pray. Amen. If you’re not a Christian, you can become one.

And it’s not as simple as just praying the sinner’s prayer. Because the sinner’s prayer is not in the Bible. Nobody can find it because it’s not there. Calling on the name of the Lord is in the Bible, but in Acts 22 and verse 16, Paul was talking about his conversion, and he said that Ananias said to him, And now, why are you waiting? Arise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord. Calling on the name of the Lord involves baptism. And you don’t just go down into that water and think that that’s it. You have to do so with belief, in repentance of heart, turning away from your sins, and then committing your life to Christ to follow him and to obey his commandments until the day that you die.

If you do that, in the end you will be saved through the grace and mercy of God through Jesus Christ. And you’ll spend eternity with him in heaven. If you’re not a Christian, you can become one. If you would like our prayers at this time, we would love to pray for you. If we can assist you, please come now as we stand and sing the song of invitation.