Making People Feel Welcome

Introduction

Well, I hope everybody is comfortable and feels good to be here because I want to begin with asking you a question and to take your mind back to an uncomfortable time in your life. I want you to think about and try to remember a time in which you weren’t comfortable in the setting that you were in. Maybe the most awkward moment of your life when you felt unwelcome somewhere, or felt like you didn’t belong, and everybody else did. Maybe just the conjuring up the memories of that makes you uncomfortable. I’ll tell you about one of mine, just one. I’ve got several. Several years ago, I began an interest in genealogy and tracing a family tree. This was before the internet and all those other things where you could do it so easily, and so you needed hands-on resources, and the local college was offering a class, one of those adult evening classes of finding your roots, tracing your genealogy.

And so I thought, well, here we go. I can learn something. And so I signed up for that. And the first night of the class, I showed up eager with pen and notebook and glasses, and I was ready to go. And I went into the building and went down and found room 103, where I thought the class was supposed to be held. I walked into the class, and it was already fairly full of students who had signed up for a class. It kind of struck me a little bit that I was the only man in the room. But I thought, well, mostly, maybe mostly women are interested in genealogy or would sign up for these kind of evening classes. And so I didn’t think too much about being the only guy in the room.

I should have when got some kind of awkward questions about signing up for the class and being there, and if I had all the material.

And I didn’t know until the overhead projector started the class at 7 o’clock on the dot. And the first slide introduced by the female teacher, introduced the course, Hear Me Roar. Being the woman you were meant to be.

Is this not the genealogy class?

And it was a mixture of laughters and sighs of relief that they knew that I would soon be leaving that class. And so, as awkwardly as I could, I got up, left, and went down to the hallway to room 108, where the teacher had told me the real class that I had signed up for was. That wasn’t a fun experience. To be awkward and to be unwelcome and to know that you’re in a place that you don’t belong. This morning I’d like for us to consider a very practical lesson in helping us make this place totally unlike that experience. And a lesson that we’ve simply entitled Making People Feel Welcome. Now, I need to say this before we go any further in our discussion this morning is that sometimes gospel preachers will preach a specific lesson geared toward a group of people geared toward a congregation that really needs to hear this because we’re doing it poorly.

Sometimes even at the behest of the elders, address this topic, we need to be working at this topic. I want to first start with this disclaimer.

1. Be a Welcoming and Inviting Church

But I’m preaching this lesson to do two things. Number one is to encourage us to continue in this pursuit, but then maybe even to get better than what we’re already doing in excelling at making people feel welcome. We’ve chosen as our theme for this year the idea of get connected, building relationships, and most of those relationships will be relationships that we’re already in, but certainly as a Christian, we need to be building relationships with those who are outside of our family and being welcoming. And so let’s consider some thoughts this morning as we pursue, again, greater excellence at making people feel welcome. You know, we have historically had an uncompromising demand that as a church we do things according to the scripture. We proudly wear that stereotype, don’t we?

That we demand book, chapter, and verse for everything that we do, that we insist on being the church that we read about in the New Testament. We make uncompromising, these aren’t just casual preferences that we have. We make uncompromising demands that we be as close as we can, modeled after the church that we read about in the New Testament. We make sure and we demand that we have a name that we can find in the New Testament. We make sure that our organization is nothing more complicated, nothing different than we read about in the pages of the New Testament. We demand, again, uncompromisingly so, that our worship looks just like the worship of the New Testament. That the works that we engage in, even our money, we demand that our money look just like their money in the sense of the way that it is collected and the way that it’s distributed.

We want to make sure that we’re the church of the New Testament. We need to recognize that to truly be the church that we read about in the New Testament, that we need to be a welcoming and inviting church. Do we demand that much, that high standard of ourselves, the way we do other things in regard to the New Testament church? When we read in the pages of the New Testament, we read about the church that Jesus built, that God planned, and we read about it being a church that was concerned about the lost. A body of believers who cared about their neighbors. And even a body who in their assemblies were to be concerned about visitors to those assemblies.

And on a little road that led up to our house, we there was a new church. I can’t remember the name of the church or the denomination, and that’s really immaterial to this story. But it had been newly built there, and we had going up and down the road, we had watched the construction and seen the sign go up. And this one Wednesday night I drove by the parking lot was full of cars. I don’t know why, but for the first time this thought struck me. I thought, what if I stopped and went in? Curiosity, maybe because I had watched this building been built and been curious about it and seen the name, and just some curiosity struck me. What if I just stopped and went in?

That was the only way I was going to satisfy my curiosity to know what was going on there, what kind of church this was and what they were practicing and teaching. Two things. Number one, I didn’t. I drove right by. Went home. But I thought about that. First I thought about the awkwardness of that. Of just pulling in some random church parking lot and opening the door and going through and witnessing their assemblies.

But I thought that’d be weird. That’d be awkward. Because as far as I knew, I didn’t know anybody there. I’d be in the midst of a bunch of strangers. And not just strangers to me, but I would have, I assume, been the only stranger there. Everybody else would have known each other. And I would have been at further disadvantages. Everybody else would have known where everything is. They would have known where the men’s room was and where the water fountain was and where the auditorium is or a classroom building is. And I’d have been the only one there that didn’t know any of those things. They would have known the procedures and the things that they were doing, when you were supposed to stand up and when you were supposed to sit down and when you were supposed to sing and bow your head.

They would have known all of those things. And I may have picked up on them eventually, but I wouldn’t have known what was going on. And that just felt awkward. And I didn’t know how I would be received. Did they want visitors? Or would I be looked at as awkwardly as I was in that class that I had stumbled into? And again, I am not what I would consider bashful or shy in any stretch of the imagination, but I thought about the difficulty of that. And then my mind instantly went where I hope your mind has already gone. Then what about where I go to church on a regular basis? What about all the cars that drive by our parking lot and see our building and see our times of services?

2. Our Assemblies Have a Secondary Purpose

How do those people feel about our church? And I imagine to one degree or another, maybe many of them, far more nervous than I was, would never stop and just go in. And if they did, how would they feel? Are we the church of the New Testament or not? It’s not enough that we hold the insistence on the name, on the worship, on the work, on the organization. But if we’re in every sense of the word to be the church that Jesus desired, then this is an area that we need to work in. And then we also need to realize that our assemblies have a secondary purpose, and yet that secondary purpose, what I would argue is a secondary purpose, is an extremely important one. I believe that most of us would agree that the primary purpose for us coming together today is to worship and praise God.

And it’s my prayer every time that we come together that that’s accomplished. That we do as Jesus said to the woman at the well, that we worship Him in spirit and in truth. And let’s never forget that that’s our God given primary purpose. And let’s always be examining our hearts, our actions in light of the scriptures to make sure that’s why we’re here. But then when we read the New Testament, our pattern, we realize that there’s other purposes for us being gathered together. Look with me in the book of 1 Corinthians, chapter 11, as we examine some of these secondary but yet extremely important purposes for us being gathered together. In 1 Corinthians 11, you’ll remember that as a passage, the last part of the chapter at least, a passage that deals with the Lord’s Supper, specifically deals with the abuse of the Lord’s Supper.

And again, I think most of us, after reading this text, would say the number one reason that they were wrong in abusing the Lord’s Supper is that God wasn’t being glorified in their worship. But notice something else that he says wasn’t being accomplished that teaches us should be a purpose of us gathering together. In 1 Corinthians 11, and in verse 30, he says, because they were not discerning the Lord’s body, because they were not doing these things according to the pattern. He says this in 1 Corinthians 11, verse 30, for this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. Again, I think we all agree that he means this in a spiritual, not a physical sense. That many of you are weak and sick and even sleep, and sleep being a euphemism for dead.

And so I think we can see that one purpose in that secondary realm of us assembling together is to make us spiritually stronger. That the partaking of the Lord’s Supper, and maybe we could argue by extension, every act of worship that we join in jointly together, is to make the participants spiritually stronger.

Because Paul says, when you do it wrong, it’s no wonder that some of you are spiritually weak, spiritually sick, and maybe even spiritually dead. And so we gather together to worship and to praise God, but we also gather together to make us stronger, to make us better Christians. But here’s another reason. Look over in the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 14. Another abuse was in the spiritual gifts, the exercise of their spiritual gifts in their assemblies. And so Paul has this correction and instruction to them. In 1 Corinthians 14, verse 26, he says, How is it then, brethren, whenever you come together, each of you has a psalm, has a teaching, has a tongue, has a revelation, has an interpretation. That was the correction. Here’s the instruction let all things be done for edification.

Again, I would argue second to the primary purpose of praising God. But I’d also argue this extremely important that we come together to edify one another, to build each other up. That ties in with the idea of being spiritually stronger. But it means that I don’t just come to be made spiritually stronger, but I come together to help you be made spiritually stronger. And I need to give some thought to that. Look also in the book of James, chapter 2, James tells us, another thing that should be accomplished in our assemblies. James chapter 2, you may recognize this text, verses 1 through 13, as James talking about the sin of partiality. And he uses as the model for impartiality our treatment of visitors to our assemblies.

Do you recognize that this whole section of Scripture, James 2, verses 1 through 13, 13 verses talk about how the New Testament church in its worship assemblies are to treat those who are visitors to those assemblies? That tells me a couple things. That tells me, first of all, that this matters. It also tells me that we have a pattern here, that if we’re to be the New Testament church according to the scriptures, that we have to match this pattern as well. And notice what he says in James 2, beginning in verse 1, my brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality. For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings in fine apparel, and they should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes.

And you pay attention to the one wearing fine clothes and say to him, you sit here in a good place, and say to the poor man, you stand over there, or sit here at my footstool. Have you not shown partiality among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brethren. Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he promised to those that love him? But you’ve dishonored the poor. Do not the rich oppress you and drag you into courts? Do they not blaspheme the noble name by which you’re called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, you shall love your neighbor as yourself, you do well. But if you show partiality, you commit sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.

For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all. For he who said, Do not commit adultery, also said, do not murder. Now if you do not commit adultery, but you do murder, you’ve become a transgressor of the law. So speak and so do as those who will be judged by the law of liberty, for judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. Again, before I go on this next rant, I want to qualify this by saying, I’m not saying we’re failing in this regard. I’m simply saying we need to continue and we need to improve. But here, if we get anything from this this morning, James says you can keep the whole law, stumble in one point in the point of partiality, in the point of how we welcome and treat our visitors, and you violated the law.

A New Testament church, a local church today that insists that it has the right name on the sign, the right worship, the right work, the right organization, that we treat our money the right way according to New Testament pattern, and fails in this regard, fails to be the Church of Jesus Christ.

3. Give Some Thought to It

We’re to be welcoming. And impartial in that welcoming. I say we add this to that list of strict demands that we place upon the church and how we should look. And so I’ve made a list. And I challenge you to add to this list of things that we can do, each and every one of us, to fulfill this directive, this command, this uncompromising pattern that Jesus has given to us. Here’s the first thing. Just give some thought to it. That should be the beginning point really of anything, isn’t it? Any action list. Give some thought to this.

Those of us who are members here, those of us who know where everything is, especially those among us who have been here for years, to just kind of get into this numb, lifeless, thoughtless routine of what we do every Sunday morning. Now we could apply that certainly, couldn’t we, to just the act of worship and praising and glorifying God. I want to apply it this morning to the idea of being edifying to one another and encouraging and welcoming to our visitors. Give some thought to that. Don’t just get up every morning and do what you normally do and park in your parking place and sit in your pew and go to your class and sit in the chair in your class and do those things. Be open, be aware of this.

4. Put Yourself in Their Shoes

Secondly, put yourself in their shoes. Remember the story I told you about me thinking about going into that other church. Put yourself in their shoes. Concretely apply the commandment of Jesus to do unto others as you would have them do to you. You know the lineup. You know what’s going on here. You know where everything is. But try to put yourselves in their awkward shoes. And give some thought to that. And remember what the church is all about. It’s easy for us again to get into this kind of this routine and to limit our ideas and limit our scope of what the New Testament church is really all about. That the church is not to be just some kind of social club for those of us who are insiders.

5. Speak, Welcome Them, Put Them at Ease

But it’s to be a place. A place of respite, a place of solace, a place of hope, a place, yes, where the truth is taught and demanded. But also a place that echoes the words of Jesus. Come unto me. All you who are weary and heavy laden. Remember what the church is and your role in that. Here’s three easy little things. Speak. Just say something to the visitors who are here. Now, let me pause and recognize this. I think, in some sense, here at Bumby, we have a unique setting. We have so many visitors on any given Sunday. We have so many kind of even regular visitors who come that this may become awkward to you and I, who are members here. You may walk up to somebody and you may be thinking, are they a visitor?

Or have they been here for a month? I can’t remember. I guess my only advice to that’s the advice I’ve given myself. Just get over it and talk to them. Don’t be afraid of the awkwardness in your own position to help alleviate the awkwardness in their position. Just walk up to somebody and say something. Welcome them. Make them feel welcome. Put them at ease of being here. Genuinely let them know that we’re glad they’re here. That the adage visitors welcome, we really meant that. And we left the door unlocked for a reason. Come on in. We’re glad you’re here. And here’s something we talk about giving some thought to this. Give some thought to this. Make them not feel like they’re outsiders. And again, we do things normally the same way, the same routine, every Sunday, the same.

And so we it’s easy for us to forget that someone who comes in, especially someone from the community, they may not know at all what we’re talking about. Things that we take so much for granted. Even what the Lord’s Supper is. Even the way that we’re going to worship God in song. Let me give you another illustration. When we were working in Joplin, Missouri, we were right next door to the university there. And so we would occasionally get visitors come in from the university.

Jude was from Nigeria, and he was attending college there at the university, and he came into our assemblies, and he had been there a few times, and we had a bulletin like we have here, and I had PowerPoint, and sometimes the verses up on the PowerPoint. And I can remember after he’d been there a couple of weeks, he came up to me and he says, I have a question. I said, Sure, Jude, what’s your question? I thought it was going to be some deep, profound biblical question, and so I was getting revved up. And he says, he opened up the bulletin and he says, What is this? And he had pointed to where I had abbreviated the books of the Bible. Instead of Hebrews, I’d put H E B period.

Instead of 1 Peter, 1 P E T period. Assuming, incorrectly, by the way, that everybody knows what those abbreviations mean. If I put H E B period, everybody here knows that’s the book of Hebrews, don’t you? Guess what? Jude from Nigeria had no idea what that meant. And it’s a small thing, but ever since then I’ve never abbreviated a book of the Bible again. Because I don’t want to assume that everybody knows what I know. And so we have our own kind of insider lingo, don’t we? And that’s okay, maybe amongst ourselves. But again, under the premise, the umbrella of giving thought to this, realize not everybody knows. Not everybody that comes into our assemblies knows the things that you know. And realize that the little things matter.

One of the best things I ever saw in regard to this when we were in Florence. We had visitors come in, they parked in the parking lot, and we had some members who had parked this couple and parked very close to them, and they were walking up into the building, they introduced themselves and welcomed them. They did this speak welcome and put at ease. But the next thing they did is the thing that impacted me the most. They said, Do you know where you’re sitting? To which that visitor said, no. And they said, Come sit with us. You might think that’s a little thing.

But that can mean so much to someone who comes in and recognizes, are there assigned seats? Or is this somebody’s seat here? Where will I be alright to sit here? Again, you know that’s okay, as long as they don’t sit in your seat. But they don’t know that. And how that just put them at ease that that was one less thing they had distress over and worry about was where they were going to sit. These little things.

And come on in, here’s the auditorium, here’s what we’re going to be doing. And I want to challenge you to do this. And maybe I will in the history of churches of Christ in America, I will be the one person successful in asking for this. That if you’re a member, sit closer to the front. Because imagine being that awkward visitor coming into an assembly of strangers. One thing that can make that far more awkward, it’s far more far more off-putting, is having to walk in front of all of them and coming down to the front. And from the look of the cloth and the material hasn’t been set on in years, and wonder, am I even supposed to be sitting here? These little things can make a difference.

6. Genuinely Invite Them Back and Follow Up

Genuinely invite them back. Extend that invitation for them to come back, that you enjoyed having them here and you would love to see them again. And then follow up and identify their needs. That’s something we need to be doing. It’s something we do, but need to be doing greater at as a congregation is following up with these people. Identify their needs as unawkwardly as you can. Find out why they’re here. What brought them to our assembly? Is there something going on in their life that made them search for some place to worship or to find God? My closing admonition is simply keep it up. Be the welcoming, loving body of people that I know you to be. So keep it up. But also step it up.

Conclusion

There’s more we can be doing. There’s more we should be doing if we want to be the church that we read about in the New Testament. Will you pray with me, please? To God and Father, we’re so thankful that you sent your Son to redeem us from our sins and to put us together in his body. We’re so thankful for the opportunity that we have to be a part of this body. To be the church, the body that you would have us to be. Help us, Father, in every area to be who you would have us to be. Help us to be loving. Help us to be welcoming and inviting. Help us to care about every soul that comes through these doors. Bless us, Father, in this work.

Increase our opportunities. Let us prove to you, Father, that we can be your people. Continue to love us. Continue to forgive us and bless us as you see fit. This is our simple prayer in Christ’s name. Amen.