Our Family Loves

Introduction

We are so glad that you are here today. Glad that you’re here today because we know the motivation for your being here. You’re here to honor God, and you’re to be praised for that. And we certainly appreciate you being with us, especially if you’re visiting with us. You’re our honored guest, and we appreciate you being here and being a part of our worship service, and if but temporarily being kind of a part of our family. Because that’s been our annual theme. Our shepherds have seen fit to every year kind of assign us a congregational or what we affectionately call a family theme for that year. That’s not to say that these things aren’t important other years, or that this is the only time we need to be focusing on these subjects, but it’s just something that the shepherds feel like we need maybe correctively, we need to do better at something, or maybe just supportively that we need to keep doing something.

And this year’s family theme is we are family. And as you can see, again, we’ve been putting before you our family album. If you’re a part of our family here and have a picture in our directory, your picture’s up there. And we we have two things that always bring up when I bring up this family photo is number one is you can play Where’s Waldo or Where Am I? Find yourself in there. And also it’s an encouragement that, as I said before, if your photo looks more like your yearbook photo than it does what you look like in the mirror this morning, then maybe it’s time to update your directory photo, and we can take care of that if you would like to update that photo.

But we’re family, and that’s been our theme for this year, and the shepherds have also divided the year up into quarters, and each quarter has its own family theme. This previous quarter was that entitled Our Family Praises God. So we talked about our Father, the Father of our family, the giver of every good and perfect gift, the father of lights, and how that it is our responsibility as his children, as a part of his family, to praise and to honor Him. The second part of our family theme that begins today with the new quarter of this year is that our family loves.

To their face.

I’ve lied to people and about people. And it gets worse. I must confess I’ve inflicted bodily harm on people. I’ve tripped, kicked, punched, and yes, even stabbed people. Now, all of these people were my family members.

And I need to tell you two things about that. I’ve done all of those things that I’ve mentioned, mostly to my brothers.

But two things need to be said about that. One is I was much younger. That doesn’t excuse that behavior, but I haven’t done any of those things to my family members recently. And I heard some chuckles and probably some sighs of relief that your preacher wasn’t a felon when I told you that I had done those things to just family members, but you’re probably thinking, oh, well, that’s okay. It was family. You can mistreat family. You can lie about in two family. You can call family members names and say things because they’re family. And the reality of that is, I hope you realize that that doesn’t make it okay. The old saying, familiarity breeds contempt. It’s not an excuse for poor behavior, and it’s not an excuse for poor behavior in a family.

But it’s sometimes that way. We’re around family more. We’re relaxed around family. And so we’ll do things to family that we wouldn’t do. We treat family worse than we would treat a complete stranger. And that’s not right. And that’s not biblical. I appreciate Jonah doing our Bible reading this morning, and he read from the first three verses of 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Would you, if you’ve closed your Bible, would you go back to that familiar text? And I want us to use that text for our lesson this morning. I know that’s a familiar text. But don’t let the familiarity of that text breed contempt for that text. It’s a good text. And it’s familiar and it’s used and reused over and over again for a very good reason, because it’s a good text.

I want to make three broad points about 1 Corinthians chapter 13 before we make some specific points about our family and how we ought to love. The first one is that John would have us to know that God is love. And so every one of these characteristics that we can read about in 1 Corinthians chapter 3, verses 4 through 7, are perfectly demonstrated by God Himself. God is patient, God is kind, God’s not rude. God doesn’t keep a track of wrongdoing, he forgives. And all of these attributes about love are perfectly demonstrated and exhibited in God’s nature, being and actions. And so, if you want to learn love, go to the source and learn God. The second thing we can see in that section that Jonah read for us, the first three verses, is that our worship and Christian service are to be driven by love.

And that worship and service are absolutely meaningless if they’re not driven by love. Though I speak with the tongues of men and even have the outlandish ability to speak with the language of angels, but I don’t have love, it’s just empty noise. Though I have great spiritual gifts and even the outlandish ability to be able to move mountains.

Though I give all my possessions and even go to the extreme extent of giving my body to be burned, and I don’t have love. It was just empty smoke. And so love is fundamental to who we are as Christians. And so let’s work at this. Because it should tell us that if I don’t have love, I have nothing. And so I better have love. And I better have love as God would intend it. And that’s our third point that true love, or maybe we should say biblical Christian, godly love, is not simply an emotion. It’s not just this warm, gushy feeling. Nothing wrong with warm, gushy feelings, but it’s not just that emotion. And it’s not necessarily automatic, even for the Christian. If it was just an emotion that would come automatically, we wouldn’t need a whole chapter about it.

We wouldn’t need commandments telling us to do something that’s automatic. And so when God spends so much time telling us what love is and how we can be loving, that tells me two things. Number one, it’s not going to be automatic. In fact, the second thing is it might actually be tough at times to love and be loving. And so it’s something I’m going to have to actively work at, not just something that’s just passively going to happen. I’ve got to be an active participant in this thing called love. And so let’s look at how our family is to love. And what we’re going to do is just look at this text and see what love looks like. Again, it’s not just something that we say, not just some warm feeling that we have toward one another.

1. Love Is Patient and Not Irritable

It is to be active. And he’s going to tell us what love looks like, or another way of saying that, what I’m going to be doing if I truly love. And I want you to take all of the characteristics that we see in 1 Corinthians 13, verses 4 through 7. And I’ve kind of grouped them together. You might have your own grouping, but indulge me. I’ve kind of grouped them together to where it kind of makes sense to me. And so let’s look at this text and see what love looks like. First of all, he says, love is patient and love is not irritable. For our purposes this morning, I’ve used the English Standard Version because I believe it maybe translates these words a little bit easier for us to understand and apply to our lives.

Love is patient and love is not irritable. Patient. Patient is translated from a word that’s really a compound word that means long tempered. We don’t use that phrase a whole lot. We use its opposite a lot, short-tempered. Somebody who’s short-tempered is somebody who can just fly off the handle. The least little bit of thing just sets them off. But the idea of love is love is long tempered. Love is going to be tolerant and understanding and long suffering. And not only is that a characteristic of love, but that’s a necessity in a family, isn’t it? Because this proximity that we have, because we are family, might lend itself to us kind of getting on each other’s nerves. Because you may not know this, but you’re not perfect.

And you may not know this, but you do things that I don’t always agree with. And sometimes you get on my nerves. I’m sure that feeling is mutual. And so we need to be long-tempered with one another. Love is patient. Love is tolerable. The idea of being patient and not irritable. First of all, can we agree that’s a characteristic of God? That God is long-tempered. God could at every time that we sin and transgress his law could just strike us down. But God is long-tempered. It’s the idea of being understanding and patient and long-suffering of letting some things go. And love is not irritable, our text says.

2. Love Is Kind and Not Rude

We know what kind means. We know what rude is. And he simply says, love is going to be kind, and it’s not going to be rude. And from what I know about my family members here, I think I’m pretty safe in guessing that for the most part you do that to those people. Unless you’re driving on I-4. But we find it easy to be kind and rude, not rude to strangers, don’t we? That’s just common courtesy. And for the most part, except on our bad days, and we need to seek forgiveness for that. But except for our bad days, we find that fairly easy. But sometimes to family members, and I’m talking about both your physical and your spiritual family, we can let these slide, can’t we?

I don’t have to say please and thank you to Deedra. I can be rude and crude. But can I? Or maybe should I?

What does it mean to be kind? That’s really an interesting word. I say we’re not going to spend a whole lot of time defining, but I do want to pursue this. Hold your finger here, or a bookmark in 1 Corinthians 13, and go back to the book of Luke. Jesus uses this word, and it’s kind of hidden though, but it helps us to understand what this word may mean. In Luke 5 and in verse 39, Jesus is talking, remember his mini parable about old wine and new wineskins and new wine and old wineskins. Notice what he says in Luke 5, the last verse, verse 39. No one having drunk old wine immediately desires new, for he says the old is better. The old wine is better.

That word better is our word kind. And you might think, how is old wine kind or kinder than new wine? Well, this word, Thayer helps us to understand that this word means the idea that by reason of time it’s become more mellow and pleasant. It’s not biting or harsh. And so when the Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 13 says, love is kind. It means it’s it’s mellow. Just like wine mellows with age. Now I haven’t found it my personal experience that I’m mellowing with age, but here’s the idea that it’s to be softer, not to be that biting harshness that’s there. But it’s mellow, it’s kind. It’s not rude. We’re not going to just show ourselves. We’re not going to be, as the southerner would say, ugly toward one another.

3. Love Does Not Envy and Is Not Resentful

This word is defined as disgraceful, dishonorable, indecent. In other words, what Paul is saying here is love will mind its manners. It won’t be rude. Love, our next grouping that seems to work for me is love does not envy and is not resentful. The word envy is one of those words that we use it almost always in a negative sense, but it just really means this idea of a strong desire. Strong desire for something. It’s the word that’s translated zealous and also jealous in different places. That I really want something. Now, if it’s something good and admirable, it’s good to have a strong desire for a stronger faith or love. But if I have that envy toward someone else, it can bring out the worst in us.

Love is going to appreciate when someone else does good or when good is done to or for that other person. When someone else gets the applause.

Now, in our context, are you there in 1 Corinthians 13? Go back to your bookmark there. And notice how it’s grouped here. In 1 Corinthians chapter 13, it says in verse 4, after saying love suffers long and is kind, it says, love does not envy. And then it’s followed up by love does not parade itself as not puffed up. We’ll talk about that later. Envy and arrogance. Again, hold your finger there and go to the book of Galatians. In Galatians chapter 5. When I was doing kind of a word search on some of these words, this struck me in Galatians 5 verse 26, where it says, let us, Galatians 5.26, let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. It struck me that there in Galatians 5.26 and in 1 Corinthians 13, verse 4, that the words conceited or arrogant were paired with the word envy.

And so I thought, well, why is that? Why are those words paired together often? Well, first I thought, well, maybe it’s because it’s talking about two different ends of a sinful spectrum. One is, one end of the spectrum is I’m conceited. I think everything’s about me. I’m the best. I’m the greatest. Bow down to me. The other end of the sinful spectrum is somebody who doesn’t have all the things that that conceited person has, and they’re looking up at him and says, Well, why not me? I hate you because you have those things that you can boast about, and I wish that I had them. And that may certainly be the case. It may be contrasting sins, but then as I thought about it further, I thought, no, wait a minute.

They’re paired together because they come from the same root. If it’s all about me, that may be exhibited in look at me and my talents and my ability and my rewards. In fact, let me show you my brag wall or let me take you to my trophy room. But it also can be exhibited that conceit, that arrogance can be exhibited by me saying, if it’s all about me, then it needs to be all about me. And if something happens about you, then we’re not having that. But love doesn’t behave that way. Love doesn’t make it all about me. Love can look at you and say, good for you. And to not be resentful. Some translations translate the idea of resentful as thinks no evil. It’s literally the idea of keeping account of evil.

It’s the technical term that was used for entering a debt in a ledger. I don’t know about you. But at my stage in life, if I want to remember something, I better write it down. And for the young people in the audience, I have a high tech tip for you. If you have a smartphone with a camera, here’s a high tech tip from an old man. If you want to remember something, write it down on a piece of paper and then take a picture of that paper. That’s what I do. It works pretty good. If I can just remember to look at my pictures. But I need to write something down if I want to keep track of it to remember it. And that’s the word here for resentful or thinks no evil.

4. Love Is Not Boastful or Arrogant

Here’s this. You did me wrong. I’m writing that down. And in my case, in our era, I’m writing that down, and I’m going to take a screen, I’m going to take a picture of it. So I can remember that day and that way that you wronged me. Paul says love doesn’t act that way. Love doesn’t keep a track of those things. Love’s not boastful or arrogant. Those are sister words. The word of for boastful here is really an idea of speech. That we’re going to be braggadocious. We’re going to be saying things about us. Arrogant is more the spirit of it. And so, by the way, if love isn’t boastful, love will control its speech. Love is not arrogant. I love the old King James and the new King James translation of this.

Love is not puffed up. Well, that’s descriptive, isn’t it? Somebody who’s just boastful, full of themselves, puffed up. That I’m the best. And I should be doing this. Love. Now we’re going to start stepping on some toes. Mine particularly. Love does not insist on its own way. But my way’s the right way.

Love in other texts in the New Testament tells us puts the interest of others before self. Now let me give you two scenarios here. I’ve come up with ideas that I thought were good ideas. But then somebody else comes up with an idea, and I go, you know what? That’s better. And if I can swallow my pride, it’s somewhat easy to go, since your idea is better than mine, let’s do it your way. Yeah. That saves money, or that’s easier. It’s just going to be a prettier outcome. And so let’s do it that way. And so if giving up some pride, I can go your way if your way’s better than mine. But let’s say it goes this way. I have an idea, you have a countering idea, my idea is still better.

5. Love Does Not Rejoice at Wrongdoing

Now what do I do? The Holy Spirit says love doesn’t insist on its own way. Okay. Let’s do it your way. And by the way, if I apply the other principles, it’s not resentful, it’s not envy, it’s not rude. I’m not going to say, well, let’s do it your way, although my way’s better. And by the way, I’m going to be writing down when your idea fails. So I can say, I told you. No, none of that’s going to work. Love is not boastful, love’s not arrogant. Love does not insist on its own way. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing. Love takes no delight in iniquity and sin. And I think there’s two applications of that. Number one is love’s just not going to rejoice in something that’s bad.

So I’m not going to rejoice in sin. I’m not going to rejoice in iniquity, but I’m also not going to rejoice in correcting sin or iniquity. There’s not going to be some kind of spiritual Schadenfreude. You know what Schadenfreude is? Scheudenfreude is a German word, maybe appropriately German. I’m sorry I said that. But it’s a German word that means taking delight in the misery of others. So I’m not going to rejoice in iniquity. Somebody sins. I’m not going to rejoice. Good for them, I’m glad they sinned. But I’m also not going to rejoice. Good for me, I’m glad they got caught. No.

Galatians, we don’t turn over there, but you remember at Galatians 6, chapter 1, for brothers overtaken in a trespass. Ye who are spiritual.

Go to that brother. You ever wonder why it says you who are spiritual? It might be that Paul was saying, some of y’all don’t go to him. You’re not ready for that. You who are spiritual, you are spiritually minded and have the mind of God, the mind of Christ, who have spiritual humility who can go to someone without delighting. Oh, I’ll go. I’ll go reprimand brother so and so. I’ve been looking forward to this day. No. Paul would say, you who are spiritual, you sit down and stay at home. We’ll send somebody more mature and loving to go correct that brother. But love rejoices in the truth. Love’s going to be happy whenever good is done, no matter who does it, who gets the credit for it, love rejoices with the truth.

6. Love Bears All, Believes All, Hopes All, Endures All

Lastly, in kind of these all-encompassing ideas, he says it bears all, believes all, hopes all, and endures all. It bears all. Love’s going to last. It’s going to put up with some stuff. And it’s going to endure. And it believes all. That doesn’t mean love’s gullible, but it means that love, when properly applied and used, love is going to seek the best of its object and see the best of its object. If I drive by your house and I see a few beer cans in the front yard, what am I going to assume? Am I going to assume the worst? Or am I going to assume the best? Somebody must have thrown those in his yard. Love believes all. It sees the best and seeks the best in its object.

It hopes all. It hopes for the best. And it endures through everything. Everything that it has to endure because we’re a family.

Conclusion

Do I fly off the handle? Am I, have I been rude to my family member? Have I inflicted harm on someone? And by the way, like my confession at the beginning of this lesson, it wasn’t okay just because it was family. We’re family. And a family loves. Would you be a part of this family? It’s a great family. It’s not great because who we are, although I think we’re pretty good. But it’s great because who of our Father is. And because what our Father would have us to do as a family. Would you obey the gospel this morning and become a part of the family of God? A loving family who sees the best, who seeks the best, who endures, who’s not easily provoked, who’s not rude, but will be kind and loving and patient with you.

If we can help you in any way as you render obedience to the gospel this morning, let it be known as together we stand and sing.