Shade for Our Children

Introduction

Good morning to all and welcome to those who are visiting in our audience today, thankful for your presence. In Genesis chapter 12, verses 1, 2, and 3 is found one of the more significant promises that God made to any man promise to Abraham. I’m sure that most in this audience are familiar with that promise. We say there were three promises, and they really give an outline of the Bible in one sense. For the first two promises are fulfilled in the Old Testament, the third promise in the new.

That God would bless him, make of his slineage a great nation, a great family. That secondly he’d give them a land in which to live. And as we know in the Old Testament, the promise about the children of Israel, the Israelites, the Hebrews, and how that they dwelt in the land of Canaan. But that third promise was a promise that through Abraham’s seed or lineage he would bless all families of the earth. And of course, that is the promise of Jesus Christ, through whom even to this day we are blessed. But how many times have we ever thought about why God selected Abraham for such a great promise as this? Was it just at random? Or was it something that God foresaw in Abraham for which God said, I’m going to choose this man.

Even though he has no children now, he will have children, and he will be as a father that I’ve chosen. I think when we look later in the text, Genesis chapter 18 and verse 19, we get a little insight into answer to that question. For God would say, I know him. That he will command his children and his household after him. And they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment, that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him. And frankly, we know, as we follow in Genesis, the story of Abraham’s son Isaac and grandson then Jacob, whose twelve sons became the twelve patriarchs, out of which really we know that Jesus Christ later came from this lineage.

God will say of Abraham, I know him. What would he do? He will teach his children. What an important characteristic of every parent.

1. One Generation Plants Trees, Another Gets the Shade

Really, it’s from a Chinese proverb. It goes something like this: one generation plants the trees, and another gets the shape. He might say in this audience, all of us can say, well, we are somewhat influenced, aren’t we, by our parents, even perhaps by our grandparents? That the shade that we now live under was first given as plants by our fathers and our grandfathers or mothers involved as well. The fact is that we are influenced by our parents greatly. And we might see that even down through the years that effect will have upon how we raise our children. The question that all of us in this audience really ought to ask ourselves is in spiritual terms. Have we planted the kind of trees that will help our children to guard themselves against the anti-God attitudes or values that are in our society today?

Are we helping them to learn how indeed to guard themselves and to be prepared in order to answer indeed the kind of influences that they have surrounding them? Truth is the scripture teaches how that our life really influences our children as well as our grandchildren. That we can either be the kind of parents that will instill in our children unfeigned faith, the kind that is sincere, that when Paul, for example, wrote to Timothy in 2 Timothy 1, he said, I, when I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, thy mother Eunice, I’m persuaded in thee also. Started with his grandmother and his mother. Or we may be like those parents that are described in the book of Judges.

After they, the children of Israel went into the promised land under the leadership of Joshua and Caleb, as you read through the book of Joshua, you see the story, but you come to Judges and in Judges chapter 2 and verse 10. The scripture says, of all that generation, when they were gathered under their fathers, there arose another generation after them which knew not the Lord. Nor yet the works which he had done for Israel. It’s a sad read, really, through the book of Judges for the most part. And especially when you come to the very last verse of Judges, Judges 21 and in verse 25. The scripture said, In those days there was no king in Israel. Every man did that which was right in his own eyes.

Right in his own eyes. And therefore you find in the book of Judges a series where God’s people were brought into oppression because they fell into idolatry. Indeed, the effect that we have on our children may reach not just to our own children, it may reach to the third and fourth generation. When God gave the Ten Commandments to Moses, recorded in Exodus chapter 20. The first, of course, was you should have no other gods before me. But then the second of those commandments, you shall not make unto you any graven image or likeness thereof. And he said in verse 5 of chapter 20, for I, the Lord am thy God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children under the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.

The effect may reach to the third and fourth generation. That’s our grandchildren, our great-grandchildren. That doesn’t mean that we inherit the sins of our parents. We neither inherit sins nor righteousness. But what he’s saying is the consequences of a parent may have its effect. You take an alcoholic, for example, and the kind of effect upon that family, even to the third and fourth generation, may happen to the children because of the kind of father that they were raised with. The fact is that neither sin nor righteousness is inherited. As in Ezekiel chapter 18 and verse 20, the scripture says the soul that sinneth it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the Father, nor the neither shall the Father bear the iniquity of the Son.

The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. So that each of us really has to answer for ourselves. But we have to also recognize that there is an influence.

2. Patterns of Conduct Will Be Imitated

We laugh then. But how sad it can be if in a in a very real way they walk in our shoes as we get old. And that they’re not the kind of shoes that we really want them to be. What kind of influence are you having on your family now? What kind of shade are you providing for your children? Patterns of conduct will be imitated. In Romans chapter 1, after the letter is introduced in verse 16, where the apostle wrote how that the gospel is God’s power into salvation. He then describes, beginning in verse 19 of Romans 1. How that the wrath of God is a real from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth. And it begins to describe what happened to the to the Gentile world.

Why is it that there were only, you might say, that lineage from Abraham through through those twelve sons, you might say, in the law of Moses given to the Israelites. What about the rest of the world? I acknowledge that the Bible doesn’t tell us a whole lot about all the other descendants from Noah on down, but we do know that for the most part they are without excuse. Whatever, whatever knowledge God portrayed to them, at least is described somewhat in Romans chapter 1, when he says in verse 19, because that which may be known of God is manifest in them. For God has shown it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen. Being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse.

In other words, even from the creation itself, there’s evidence that man could not have made it. It didn’t come by the wisdom and power and might of man himself. There’s an evidence, there’s a higher power who created the heavens and the earth. In fact, in verse 21, when he says, Because that when they knew God, they glorified him not as God. Neither were thankful, but became vain in their imaginations, and their their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools.

Professing themselves to be wise. They become fools. But what’s even sadder in that description of the Gentile world, you might say, and the sin that they they committed because they did not glorify God. They did not honor Him as God. What happened? Three statements are found in verse chapter 1, verses 24, 26, and 28, in which it says God gave them up. It isn’t that God forced them to do anything. They resisted God, therefore God did not force man to serve him. Didn’t back then, doesn’t today. But I want you to notice how sin has a way of growing worse. As the Bible says, evil men wax worse and worse. The first time in verse 24, it says God gave them up to uncleanness. That word literally carries the idea of sexual immorality, fornication.

But it didn’t start with just male and female. In verse 26, for this cause God gave them up to vile affections. And this carries more, and you read the context around verse 26, it begins to describe homosexuality. Where that which was against nature, in fact, the scripture says. One thing led to the other as they did not glorify God and being wise in their own eyes, becoming foolish. They finally, in verse 28, says, even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind. And that word reprobate mind carries the idea that they lost any sense of right and wrong. They changed, you might say, what was wrong to them became right. And what was right to them became wrong.

They were given up even to a reprobate mind. What happened? Of course, the Gentile world, as we know, did not know the Lord, turned against God as a whole. Indeed, the patterns of conduct may be imitated, even from the patterns set by our parents. Indeed, how are we going to overcome this? And well, I know I’m speaking in an audience this morning where many, some of you are not even married yet. Maybe not be parents. And some are past, you might say, parenthood, like Arlene and I, you already have great grandchildren. But I’d say there’s a lesson for every one of us, no matter what stage we are in life. The things I want to say in this next section really has to say every Christian ought to have as a goal.

3. Develop a Well-Defined Life of Faith

How are we going to provide the kind of guidance for our family and for those around us? We need to develop a well-defined life. A life of faith. When I say develop a well-defined life of faith, there are at least four things I want to establish in our hearts. That number one, we need to know what we believe and know why we believe it.

In 1 Peter chapter 3 and in verse 15, the scripture says to sanctify the Lord in your heart. Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason concerning the hope that is within you. Do you know what you believe? Or do you just come to a service like this on Sunday? Well, that’s you know that’s what I’ve always done, and I’m a Christian. Could you tell somebody else why you are a Christian? Why you believe what you believe? Could you defend your moral attitudes and why you believe as you do? Jude verse 3, the scripture says, contend earnestly for the faith once delivered unto the saints. Contend earnestly. There has to be a sense of I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ that he arose from the grave the third day, but I also understand something about the church for which he shed his blood.

And I’m ready to defend the fact that those who are saved by the blood of Christ become citizens in his kingdom, which is the church. And therefore, as a citizen in that kingdom myself, as I serve my Lord, who’s ruler over the kingdom, there’s a characteristic that I’m going to manifest in my own life. I don’t stand for moral right and moral wrong. I’m going to stand for something. One of my favorite texts along this line.

You may recall the days of Daniel and the three other Hebrews that were taken captive. We know them best by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And Nebuchadnezzar had a golden image made at something like probably 90 to 100 feet tall out of gold. In order to out the land that at a certain sound of the music that everyone was to bow down and give honor. But there were three Hebrews that did not do that. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And the Chaldeans reported to Nebuchadnezzar. There were three that didn’t bow down to this image that you made and infuriated the king Nebuchadnezzar. And he, as much as called them back, and it’s sort of like in our own words, he said, I’m going to give you another chance.

Surely you’ll bow down. Because if you don’t, the law is you’ll be thrown into the fiery furnace. And the answer that these three men gave was there’s no need to do it again. We don’t even have to take a second thought about it. We made up our minds. We will not bow down to an image, an idle image like you’ve made of gold. You’ll be thrown into the fiery furnace. Well, our God will protect us, but even if he doesn’t, we will not bow down. Do you have that kind of attitude? I don’t even have to give a second thought to it. You know, don’t test me a second time. But rather I will serve the Lord no matter what the cost may be. In fact, there comes a choice sometimes in our life that we we need to be like a Joseph.

Whenever Potiphar’s wife grabbed his coat and lied about him, he ran from her. Even if it meant prison. Know what you believe and know why you believe it and be willing to stand up for what is right. Indeed, we need a well-defined life of faith. So as a parent, we start with that. Do you know what you believe and why? The second is be single-minded about putting God first. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things should be added unto you. But the Lord meant by that, there’s a there’s a choice we make in life, and and with that, let it be God first, his righteousness, no matter what is before us. In the book of James, chapter one, verses five through eight.

The scripture says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. Let it be known what you believe, and let it be that always Christ comes first. Be secure in stating your value system. Don’t be afraid to say, well, there are rules and there are values for our family. And we’re not responsible for other families. I think one of the strongest arguments young people have with their parents is, well, you know, my good friend, it’s all right with their parents that I go to a certain movie or I do a certain thing. And if they can, why can’t I do it? That’s a classic argument among young people. That’s when parents need to be able to say, well, I may not know everything. Maybe I need to study a little further about what’s involved in that movie, or maybe I need to know a little bit more.

There are some gray areas, certainly, that parents where parents find difficult to make a judgment. But I’ll tell you what, when in doubt, there always it needs to be said to our children, and I’m going to lean toward the conservative way. The way that I know is right. I’m comfortable with this, and until I have more information, I’ll not change my mind. I’m going to put God first. And I’m going to be able to say that at least if it’s the right thing to do, it’s the Lord’s will to do, that’s the direction. My children know that I’m going to lean in. Always I’m going to lean in the way that’s going to serve the Lord. But defining our life of faith, not only do we need to know what we believe and why, and always being single-minded about putting God first in our choices, guard against hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy. Is an actor. He’s a play actor. You know, he can tell you one thing when really he’s he’s living another way. And you know who? You will never fool. You’ll never fool your children. Your children know you. There’s some people you may fool some of the time outwardly. You may come to assembly every time the doors open and be a hypocrite, you won’t fool your children about it. At home, what do they see in you? Do they ever see you praying and leading in prayer? They see you studying your Bible? Or would they say, well, I do that at public worship, and that’s the only time? What about at home? Do they know that you’re the kind of individual who makes the choices for sacrificial service to the Lord?

Maybe even when it comes to planning your budget. And you know, we talk about money a lot. Money goes just so far, and where is the contribution of the Lord in that discussion? Is it at the top of the list or maybe left out totally? Do the children see you give only the leftovers to the Lord or anything? What about worshiping with the saints whenever it’s possible? Do they do they see you coming to services every time, regardless? You put everything else out of the way, you put God first, or do they find you coming only well when it’s convenient for you? What about even what they hear you talking about your brethren? Is it always the negative? Running down such and such a person, or at least trying to accuse them of something that’s not always the becoming of a Christian, or they hear you talking as though you love your brethren and you’re trying to build them up and you have real concern.

You know, what your children hear and what they see is what they believe in you. Are you really with that unfeigned faith like Timothy had that was first in his grandmother and then in his mother? We need to be, as Joshua said in Joshua 24 and verse 15, when he said to the people, choose you this day whom you will serve. For that the gods of your fathers on the other side of the river, the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Let that be our disposition and our attitude. Don’t just make up your child, you know, uh to be alike the world. I think some parents get off on the wrong foot, you know, the little girl we want, we want our daughters to be uh popular, and so we, if we’re not careful, we get into that little Miss America syndrome, and we want them to try for for the cheerleading, and we want them to, if we’re not careful, we put them in a pattern where they become desensitized to what immodest dress is.

Or fathers wanting their sons to succeed in areas where maybe they didn’t succeed, and they push at their boys and they set forth that the gold for whatever trophies they may get, as though that’s the most important thing in life. They will forsake the assembling of the saints in order to make a ball game more important. They will do kind of things, hollering them maybe, and and and saying to their sons to do things that maybe isn’t always following the rules in order to win. Wrong attitudes. Your children know what you really are. Develop the kind of attitude that is sincere, that puts God first. If the Lord were right there with you day by day, would you say the same things and would you encourage them to do the same things?

Think of it in that way. But also, if we’re going to have that defined life of faith, we need to maintain a loving relationship with our spouse. What they see between mother and father means so much to what kind of attitude they also have. A tree is not healthy unless it has a good root system. And so the good root system is really what they see with you and your wife or you and your husband. If they’re going to be healthy emotionally, your relationship with each other, their root needs also to be healthy. As in Ephesians 5 25, husbands love your wives. How much? Even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Does that mean she’s perfect? Well, no. But neither are you.

The fact is that we love, and love has a way of overcoming and helping what the other needs maybe as a fault to overcome the fault. It’s an attitude of caring, an attitude of disposition. How sad it is to maybe know, well, there’s a courting stage, and you know, while sometimes a man and a woman are in that courting stage, oh, he just does everything in the world for her. But once the marriage takes place, it all things sometimes can change. He wants her to serve him, or vice versa. She quits uh combing her hair and making herself pretty, and she quits having the kind of attention toward him like she did while they were still dating. Don’t change. I think in Matthew, where Jesus said that do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.

It’s a good rule. If in your marriage you have to stop and think, you know, if the roles were reversed, here’s the man. What if I were a wife? Would I want to be married to a man that’s acting like I’m acting? If you have to say no to that, then you do the changing. On the other hand, here’s the wife, and she’d have to say, Well, if I do it the other way around, get this thing right, where she fulfills the role opposite. Would she want to be married to a woman like she’s acting? And she’d have to say no to that, then she needs to change. Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. Go back to 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Read again the characteristics of love.

Indeed, the characteristics that are such that grows a family stronger together. Be the kind of husband and wife that you will want your children to have. They will walk in your steps.

4. Parenting Is Not for Cowards

It isn’t this troublesome to them to divorce. Sometimes patterns repeat themselves. But if you want a strong relationship, you develop a close relationship to your husband and to your wife. Indeed, know what you believe and why. Be single minded about putting God first, guard against hypocrisy, and maintain a loving relationship with your spouse. But then one more point before our time is up. If we’re going to provide shade for our children, we need to recognize that parenting is not for cowards. There are some tough times in being a good parent. There are just some times where really we we may wonder, we may in fact wonder if we’re doing a good job at all. Up till about age 12, it wasn’t near the problem usually that it happens about the time they become teenagers.

You know, up till then we’re bigger than and we’re stronger than, and we can say you must do this or you must do that, and we we still are able to accomplish, but somehow our authority uh gets sort of questioned when the hormones start clicking in. And when uh the peer pressure begins to have more effect and begin to see what others are doing. And all of a sudden it seems that uh the physical body of our son or of our daughter uh now they seem more powerful and they’re certainly more wiser, and well, from a teenager’s perspective, you could hear them thinking this way. I’m almost an adult now, why shouldn’t I have more say about what I do? You know? When they begin to think like an adult, and I say somewhere around about 14, 15 or 16, the child usually thinks he or she knows more than the parent.

And I think all of us adults know that, you know. We go through that period of time, about age twenty-five, we realize how smart our parents were, but when we’re 10 years younger than that, we we think we know more than the parent. And besides, we we want to know why shouldn’t I be allowed to have more privileges now that I’m a teenager? And why should someone else always tell me what to do? It’s at this point that parents may feel they’re losing control and the child is slipping away. But it’s at this point that really our early training becomes really apparent. Don’t wait until a child is 15 or 16 to start trying to train. Start when they’re young. I well remember one of my earlier times of preaching.

And this mother called one morning and she wanted me to talk to her son, who had just turned 18. And she wanted me to try to teach him how to become a Christian. Well, she had waited until 18. It was too late. There was no way I could turn that young man’s life around. She had been an unfaithful kind of a Christian. Came when it was convenient. It was too late to try to do something about it. Don’t wait till it’s too late. In fact, though changes come, be prepared by starting early. How do we do that? Number one, refrain, restrain them when they do wrong. One of the judges of Israel, Eli, had such a sad death. You may recall the story in 1 Samuel 3 that the children of Israel went out to battle against the Philistines.

And they even took the Ark of the Covenant as though that was going to be they used it sort of like their idol to be sure they thought to have victory. But what happened is the Philistines won that battle. Now the Lord’s doing. And they took the Ark of the Covenant. And Eli’s two sons, Afanon and Pinehas, were killed in that battle. And when word was brought back to Eli, he fell over backwards and broke his neck and died. A sad finish to a man who otherwise should have been a great man. But what’s surrounding the story about Eli is that, as in 1 Samuel 3, it says that his sons were vile. They did wickedly, and he restrained them not. He had the right to restrain them.

But earlier in chapter 2 of 1 Samuel, it is says that when the report came to Eli that they had would lie or commit fornication with some of the women who brought sacrifice, or when they would eat the fat of the sacrifice, he told them, you shouldn’t be doing that. He said the right words, but it was only talk. He did not restrain when he should have restrained. Sometimes as a parent, we have to set the law down and do the restraining. What we must do, command them to keep the way of the Lord, like God said Abraham will do. And that’s why God chose Abraham to be the father of a great nation. Teach them wisdom. Proverbs chapter 1, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of understanding.

Chapter 9 and verse 10. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. You teach your children how to really have understanding and knowledge, to be wise in their life. Teach him God. And start. Start at infancy. I like the kid parents. I think I did this with Michael the other night when Michael and Hannah brought their new baby two weeks old. Can he say the names of the apostles yet? Everybody laughs. I know the baby can’t say the names of the apostles, but you know what? You’d be surprised how soon they can begin to learn to say names of apostles or some scripture or some things about God. Don’t wait until they learn all the secular material that’s out here. Start with the wisdom of God.

Conclusion

Well, I hope as parents we’ll stop and think about our influence on our children, our grandchildren, our great grandchildren. And each of us, our lives will be as a good example to others, even other parents. May God help us. Would you bow with me in prayer? Almighty God, our Father in heaven. We are grateful that you’ve loved us that you provided knowledge about yourself to us. That we can see your great power even through the things that have been created. But more than that, through your word revealed by the Holy Spirit, we have a guide and wisdom from you. Help us, Father, to seek to do your will always. Help us to have the kind of conviction and courage of faith that will stand up for what is right, regardless of what others about us may say or think or be doing.

May we understand the pathway of righteousness, the pathway of justice. For these are the path of the foundation of your throne. Therefore, help us, Lord, to imitate what is godly and let it be reflected in our lives to those about us and particularly before our children. Bless us as a church. Bless us as your people. Guide us and keep us. Help us to so live. Heaven will be our home. For in the name of Christ we pray. And amen.