The Child’s Role In The Family

Introduction

Good morning. If you open your Bibles with me to 2 Chronicles chapter 33. 2 Chronicles chapter 3. This morning we’re going to speak on the topic of the child’s role in the family. And so naturally, I’m asking you to look at 2 Chronicles chapter 33. When you get there, you’ll realize that that’s supposed to be funny. In 2 Chronicles chapter 33, we’re introduced to this, for most of his life, wicked king. Pick up the reading with me in verse 1. Manasseh was twelve years old when he began to reign. And he reigned 55 years in Jerusalem. And he did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, according to the abominations of the nations whom the Lord drove out before the people of Israel. And here comes a list of all the impressively wicked things that Manasseh did.

Read with me in verse 3. For he rebuilt the high places that his father, Hezekiah, had broken down. And he erected altars to the Baals and made Asherath and worshipped all the hosts of heaven and served them. And he built altars in the house of the Lord, of which the Lord had said, In Jerusalem shall my name be forever. And he built altars for all the hosts of heaven in the two courts of the house of the Lord. And I wanted to get to this one in verse six. And he burned his sons as an offering in the valley of the Son of Hinnum. And used fortune telling and omens and sorcery and dealt with mediums and with necromancers. He did much evil in the sight of the Lord, provoking him to anger.

Punctuated in verse 9. Read there with me. Manasseh led Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem astray to do more evil than the nations whom the Lord destroyed before the people of Israel. And 2 Chronicles chapter 33, and in the reign of King Manasseh, it’s one of the more interesting subplots of the Old Testament divided kingdom. Israel, we know, had no good kings. But it’s curious to me at least, that Judah did. But what’s most curious is that King Hezekiah, Manasseh’s father, was what type of king? He was largely a good king. And Manasseh was very largely a wicked king. Interestingly, if you look towards the end of chapter 33, we see that Manasseh’s son Ammon replaced him. Read with me in verse 21. Ammon was twenty two years old when he began to reign, and he reigned two years in Jerusalem.

And he did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, as guess who? Manasseh his father had done. And so we see, okay, that one makes a little bit more sense. You have wicked King Manasseh, even though he changes in this wonderful chapter. And he passes on this wickedness to his son, who takes that torch and runs quite effectively with it. But then we come to the end of chapter 33, in the beginning of chapter 34. Look with me at the last verse of chapter 33. This is where it gets curious. But the people of the land struck down all those who had conspired against King Ammon. And the people of the land made Josiah, his son, king in his place. Josiah was eight years old and he began to reign, and he reigned 31 years in Jerusalem.

And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, and walked in the ways of David his father, and did not turn aside to the right hand or to the left. So did you see what just happened? We had King Hezekiah, good king. King Manasseh, pretty bad. And I say horribly bad, but he did change it, so we I want to give him some credit there. King Ammon, bad. Josiah, good. What is going on? Don’t you think that a father and a son would pass on the traits? Maybe you have good King Hezekiah, he’d have a good son and then a bad son. What’s happening? I think we can pinpoint a change, and we can find it in King Manasseh. What changed him? What was the turning point for Manasseh to leave this great wickedness that led him to being taken into captivity?

Pick up the reading in verse 10 with me, and you’ll see where we’re going. The Lord spoke to Manasseh and to his people, but they paid no attention. Therefore the Lord brought upon them the commanders of the army of the king of Assyria, who captured Manasseh with hooks and bound him with chains of bronze and brought him to Babylon. We say, okay, there is the just rewards of his wickedness. But read verse 12 with me. And when he was in distress, he entreated the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. He prayed to him, and God was moved by his entreaty and heard his plea and brought him again to Jerusalem into his kingdom, then Manasseh knew that the Lord was God.

Do you see what that difference was between bad Manasseh and good King Manasseh, where he starts to change, and we’re going to see at the end of chapter 33, he can’t quite undo all of his wickedness, but he does try, at least some. It was when he humbled himself and entreated the Lord his God. And so what we can pinpoint from that is if that trait, if that humility had been instilled in him before this point, this captivity, this great wickedness that Israel, excuse me, Judah suffered from in his reign and after his reign, might never have had to come to pass. But it took this midlife crisis for Manasseh. It took this point in his life when he was literally taken into captivity, when he quite literally had nowhere else to turn but to God, that he finally reached this point of humility.

1. Not to Be the Center of the World

If you’ll turn with me to Ephesians chapter 6, you know that any lesson about children is gonna find we’re gonna find ourselves here. We’ll talk about the child’s role in the family, and perhaps no text says it better than this. Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise. That it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. So before we go specifically identifying what the roles of the child are, as clearly stated in Ephesians 6 and elsewhere in Scripture, let’s talk about what is not the child’s role. First of all, what is not the child’s role is to be the center of the world.

Now, this is where I pause and want to give you my credentials for preaching this type of lesson. I have two pseudo-credentials and one true one. The first pseudo-credential is that I am not a parent, which by the way makes me an expert. I thought that would play over a little funnier, but all right. The second one is that I have been a child, and I experienced all types of different parenting measures because I was so difficult. So I have been exposed to various methods. So I have a very decent idea of at least different ways that parents can try things. But my true credential is found in Isaiah chapter 55. Consider with me there. What it why does organizations like Planned Parenthood? How did they get their stranglehold in this country?

How is it that the family has been so broken up and divided? Look with me in Isaiah chapter 55, and you’ll see what we have neglected. We’ll see the problem that we have. Isaiah chapter 55 and verse 8. Isaiah writes, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. And do you see what has happened? Man has said, I know better. Can I prove that to you? What did God say for the family? Take male and female and live together how long? For this lifetime. Do you see what man has done in our wisdom? We’ve changed basically every equation, even parts that we didn’t even consider to be variables in the family role.

We’ve even exchanged the fact that it needs to be male and female. Have you noticed that recently? And what about the length of time that this couple is to be married together? That no longer has any sort of length attached as far as someone can call and pay for a divorce attorney. You see, we have completely and utterly rejected and ignored God’s wisdom, and what has happened because of it? Well, not only is our nation shooting down in terms of relative morality, but who takes the brunt of this damage? When the family is broken up, who takes the brunt of those mistakes? Children. The children pay the price for a father never being there. The children pay the price for the woman running off with another man.

The children are left with an incomplete home. Just being raised by one parent, never even seeing or hearing from another. Do you think that’s the way God intended it to work? How did we get here?

Children’s roles certainly weren’t defined. But how about even parental roles not being lived as God has defined? We need to be willing to seek God’s ways. And we need to praise God this morning that he has made his ways available to us. Amen. We need to dig into his word and understand them. And so when I talk about what is not the child’s role to be the center of the world, I want you to consider that it is not their role to be, to get everything that they want. Because if the home is to operate as God has designed it, guess what other relationship is happening and strong? The husband and the wife. That takes attention. By the way, the center of the world, do you know who that is?

2. Not to Just Do Whatever They Want

That’s grandchildren’s role. So that’s a different lesson. Today, this morning, we’re speaking of the child’s role. Yes, it’s going to take time. It’s going to change everything about how we schedule and how we plan, because we are responsible for this child’s life. It’s very soul even and has a magnificent charge. But consider that it is not just to be waited on. The marriage is not to be put on pause for 18 to 25 years. Consider a second role of the child is not to just do whatever they want. Will you look with me in the book of Ecclesiastes? I can’t say that well, but you know what I’m getting at. Ecclesiastes chapter 11. If you’ll pick up the reading with me in verse 9, rejoice, O young man in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth.

Walk in the ways of your heart in the sight of your eyes, but know that for all these things, God will bring you into judgment. Remove vexation from your heart and put away pain from your body for youth and the dawn of life are vanity. Remember also your creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, I have no pleasure in them. Childhood is not to be spent from the child’s perspective to say, This is my time to do whatever I feel like, because after all, I’m a child. Ecclesiastes chapter 11, verse 9. Notice how that starts, though. Do you see how it kind of hits that path? But this it goes back sharply.

In verse 9, rejoice, O young man, in what? In your youth. Let your heart cheer you when? In the days of your youth. Enjoy life. Live up your youth. But what is to be kept in mind? Look at the end of verse 9. But know that for all these things, what things? The things that we’re to enjoy of our youth. For all these things, God will bring you into judgment. So we see there is no period where you just say, oh, well, whatever I feel like, because I’m young, it’s okay. Or because they’re seven, it’s all right. Because he’s fifteen, it’s okay. So let’s look at what is the end goal before we get into some specifics. If you’ll turn with me to Luke chapter 2.

3. The Ultimate Goal Is to Get to Heaven

We see, obviously we will witness the growth of a child. In Luke chapter 2 and verse 52. Notice what’s said about Jesus in his man given form. And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and men. So we see the first one. Jesus increased in wisdom. Do you see that growth of knowledge? That’s normal. We anticipate that we will grow in knowledge as we continue to age. By the way, that extends past childhood. And in stature, whether you think of size or age, which is probably more of what the word carries with it. And in favor with God and man. Do you see how this is all-encompassing? Not only are they growing physically, not only is there mental growth, but there is a spiritual gain being had by Jesus here.

He’s growing where? In favor with God. And also in favor with men. So socially, there was growth. So obviously, growth is a part of child rearing. We want them to grow in those ways. But here is the ultimate goal, and this is going to set up a lot of the roles of the child is to get to heaven. If you have a household with a mom and dad and children, what is the goal of every individual in that home? To get to heaven. It is the mother’s job to serve God and to trust on his grace to get to heaven. It is the father’s role to obey God and to get to heaven. It is the role of the child. Parents want for their children to be in heaven.

4. To Honor the Parents

That is everybody’s goal. And that is what is going to set up how the household is to be run. If we are going to trust God’s wisdom, if we’re going to say God’s ways are higher than my ways, his thoughts are higher than my thoughts, and I will trust him. That means that we want to be with him. And that is life-altering in every conceivable way. Because we’re going to submit to what he has to say. And so let’s look at what is the child’s role. First of all, of course, from Ephesians chapter 6 to honor the parents. But I want to think about this idea of honor. Obviously, it carries with it the idea here of listening and obeying. But consider with me what you would do if you knew someone of high rank, high authority, was coming into your home.

Do you think that you might treat it a little differently if you had a special guest coming versus if maybe your spouse was coming home? Do you think maybe you might clean up the corners a little bit tighter? You might vacuum a little bit longer? Perhaps when any guest comes, you clean the house. That was often a signal to my sister and I that someone was coming because we definitely had to clean the house that day. We want to give honor to people. Who deserves honor? How would we say, I give, I deserve to give that person honor? Or I deserve honor. Well, usually someone of authority, someone of status, someone of position. Have we ever thought about do we honor God? How do we honor God, first of all?

If we’re going to instill in children how to honor their parents, how do we honor God? Well, certainly it would involve listening to his word, obeying what he has commanded. Jesus said, if you love me, you will keep my commandments. But consider how to establish honor is to recognize who God is in comparison to me. If I remember every day of my life that God has done everything for me, that I have been blessed to live in a nation where I am not afraid for my life to come and worship him. If I remember that I have a car, that I have a place to live, I have an abundance of food, abundance of clothing, I have friends, I have family in Christ that I can lean upon.

Do you see how we can just go on and on and on with the blessings that God has given us? God is great. Amen. We need to realize that God deserves our honor. We need to remember that God has done everything for us. Now, thinking about the role of the child. Thinking about your own parents and upbringing or whoever raised you. Do you think that maybe they sacrificed a time or two so that you could have something nice? You’re looking at probably part of my parents’ retirement fund right now. Do you think you put some money into your children? Do you think you put time and effort and sacrifice? We should honor our parents. We need to recognize as children that our parents have given up great things so that they can be there with us.

It doesn’t matter what the sacrifice has been. What matters is that they have chosen to put us first. And that is a sacrifice. That is a change. That makes me stop and think. This person, not only do I honor because God says so, but I should honor them. Yes, they are an authority to me, but I should honor them. I should respect them. I should give them my all.

Look with me in Matthew chapter 15. There’s a fascinating event that happens in Matthew chapter 15, which is worthy of a sermon on its own right. But consider, I want to let the cat out of the bag a little bit as you’re turning to Matthew chapter 15, that Jesus is going to call out a commandment that was broken by the scribes and the Pharisees. I want you to consider what the commandment was, and second of all, who and how old the violators were. Look with me in Matthew chapter 15 and verse 1. Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and said, Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat. He answered them, and why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition?

Here it comes. What is the commandment that they broke? For God commanded, honor your father and your mother. And whoever reviles father or mother must surely die. Do you see what commandment was broken? What was it? Honor your father and mother. Now, do we think that Jesus was at some sort of schoolyard or playground here? If so, the text doesn’t say that. In Matthew chapter 15 and verse 1, who is the target of Jesus’ words? The Pharisees and the scribes who came to Jesus from Jerusalem. These were adults who were breaking the commandment to honor their father and their mother. So what does that teach me about honoring my parents? It teaches me that despite how I normally consider the phrase children, I might think of a five-year-old or a ten year old or a two-year-old.

That children are subject to honoring their parents for how long? As long as there is a parent-child relationship. Do we see how that is so crucial to our understanding of this role? Because if that is the case, if we are to honor God, if we are to honor our parents for the length of our days, then doesn’t it just make sense that that should start being cultivated in the home? Do you remember King Manasseh in 2 Chronicles chapter 33? What was the turning point when he humbled himself, when he recognized that he had to turn to God? We need to recognize that we are not the center of the world. And that training can and should start in the home. It should start by recognizing that my parents deserve honor.

As parents recognizing that kids are not to be put on the pedestal apart from all other functions of life. Whether we have a child this day or we have a child in four years or five years, Lord willing, the church will still go on. There will still be needs of the brothers and sisters in Christ. The work of the church will persist until the day Jesus comes again. And that means that my child, or even my own life, is not all there is in the world. And to understand that can go a long way if we understand that we should honor God and honor our parents.

5. To Listen and to Obey

In Deuteronomy chapter 11, we see a passage that we commonly look to from the perspective of parenting. But there’s a subtle word choice in there that I think alerts us to a child’s role. Will you look with me in Deuteronomy chapter 11? In the 11th chapter of Deuteronomy, you’ll see in verse 18, you shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. It’s important to know the commandments of God. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Did you catch it? We went over that key in verse 19. What was it? You shall teach them to whom? Your children. And not just conveying them to your children. How are you doing it? Talking of them, constantly meditating on, teaching the commandments of God. So what is the implication of the child’s role? It is to listen. One famous comedian often talks about his brain dead children. And so often he would find himself saying commands over and over again. It might sound a little something like this Come here, come here, come here, come here. Because they aren’t just listening. Then he’d want someone else’s attention to say, Come here, come here, come here, come here. There’s a failure to listen. Do we think if a child was honoring their parents that it would be that difficult to get their attention?

What about listening? What is the perspective of the child and listening? Will you turn with me to Proverbs chapter 1? The book of Proverbs, chapter 1. Note with me again. These words that are going to be aimed that imply something. In Proverbs chapter 1 and verse 8, hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teachings. For they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. What is the implication? That there’s good teaching from the father. Good instruction being given. Good teaching from the mother. But what is to be done with it? It is to be heard, the first word of verse 8. Hear, my son, your father’s instruction. It is to be not forsaken the teachings of the mother.

How do you not forsake the teaching? You do it. How do you do it? You hear what it is, you listen. You see, in Proverbs chapter 23 and verse 22, Proverbs chapter 23 and verse 22. Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Listen to your father. By the way, how is the father noted? He’s the father who did what? Gave you life. Do you see where some honor might come in? Some recognition of who he is and what he has done for you. So child’s role is to honor and to listen, and of course it is to obey. If you look with me, at Colossians chapter 3 and verse 20, Paul makes it succinct here.

Colossians chapter 3 and verse 20.

Colossians chapter 3 and verse 20. Children, obey your parents in everything. For this pleases the Lord. Can it be said more succinctly than that? Obey your parents in how much? Everything? Why? For this pleases the Lord. But there’s another curious Bible instance here in 2 Timothy chapter 3. Will you turn with me there? It’s a little perplexing sometimes the way we think of it. And here we’re getting back to the Isaiah chapter 55 concept. Are we truly going to put God’s ways first? Look at me in 2 Timothy chapter 3. Help me unravel this mystery beginning in verse 1. But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. Now here’s going to come a list of some very bad people. For people will be lovers of self.

That’s a problem in Christianity. Lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive. Do you see how this is not a favorable list to be on? Disobedient to their parents? Ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the denial, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power of void such people. You’re looking at this list and you see people who don’t have self control, who are reckless, who are treacherous, who are slanderous, and who disobey their parents. What’s the big deal there? How can that be? We need to consider that if we understand that God’s ways are best, what does that imply? That when God has set something up, when it is set to function in a particular way, we are to carry out that particular way, or the consequences are severe.

You think about organizations like Planned Parenthood. You think about politicians that you may disagree with, legal strategists, talking heads on the radio and television shows that seem to have no respect for authority and certainly no respect for what God has to say. How did that happen? It started at least, where everyone’s story starts at birth. Now it may be that someone’s father or mother abandoned them. It may be that both did. But in many cases, sadly, that’s not the case. Children were not taught from an early age to honor their parents, to listen to them, and to obey them. And so what is that child going to do when he’s 18, 25, and out on his own? He’s not going to honor, listen to, or obey any other authority.

He’s never been taught to.

6. To Serve God

We need to instill them. And brothers and sisters, at all costs, we must trust in God that his ways are right. Disobedient to parents fits this list, not only because God said so, but perhaps because it’s the starting block, it’s the gateway into all of these other concepts of failing God. But consider with me one final rule. And it’s to serve God. Terry Francis was here, I believe two years ago for a teen weekend, about a year and a half ago at this point. And one of the sermons he tied he entitled was The Church of Right Now or something similar. And I don’t know if you remember his point, but his point was that Christians, even if they’re 12 or 16 or 15, or whatever age, they are members of the church.

In Isaiah chapter 7 and verse 15, there’s a picture of a boy, and he’s said to not yet be at the point where he can refuse the evil and choose the good. Now, by the way, side note, how did that boy get to that point eventually? How do we get there? Either our parents are going to instill that in us, or we’re going to find it on our own. Did you see the risk of that? Do you see the risk of the latter of not being taught, not being brought up the way God would have us? But thinking about this boy who would not refuse the evil and choose the good, when he reaches the point that he is, this son, this 13 year old decides, I am going to be baptized, I am going to commit my life to Christ, I’m going to have my sins forgiven because I know I cannot be saved with all of these sins on my conscience.

I need God’s grace, mercy, and love. I need to be forgiven of my sins. And we rejoice that this is a wonderful thing because after all, we know that God has no grandchildren. It doesn’t work that if you have good parents, well, that your kids are going to ride in on the parent’s success story. So, what does that mean for the house? That means that we need to realize that even though my daughter or my son is 15 years old and a Christian and doesn’t know nearly what I do at my age of having raised a child to age 15 and the life I lived before that. That this child is a child of God and has the same obligations to the church family that I do.

And what I need to realize as a child is that my role is important. It is important for me to serve God. There are needs in the church family. I need to fit them. Yes, I might not be able to do everything. I may not have the wisdom to teach an adult Bible class. But you know what some children can do, whether Christian or not, by the way? They can make people smile that others can’t. I’ve learned that by having a beautiful wife, Kashka. People like talking to me a little bit, but they really like talking to her. So if you get if you want to talk to her, yeah, you have to deal with me. But what if you had a kid? I know people like to see five-year-olds talk to them more than me.

Conclusion

That’s just a fact. I’m past it. Can’t you tell? There’s roles that children can do before and after being Christians. But I want to go back to that point we spoke about. Do you remember what is the ultimate goal? If you as a parent were to write down your ultimate goal for your child, what would it be? To get to heaven. And so, what is that child’s role? To get to heaven, to serve God, to understand that this life is not what it’s about, that I must submit to authority, that I should love God, that I can and have begun serving Him. And so that starts today. It starts now. Why wait? God doesn’t speak of any trial period after being baptized. He speaks of Christians and non-Christians.

How are we going to live? How are we going to train? What roles are we going to take as an adult or as a child in the home? Will you go to God in prayer with me? Our dear God and most gracious Heavenly Father, we praise you for your greatness, and we thank you for this opportunity to worship you this morning. We thank you for the fact that you have chosen to look upon us with grace and mercy and forgiveness and love. And we pray that we emulate those characteristics. O Lord, we’re so thankful for all of the men and women who choose to be parents. We’re thankful for their example, for their commitment to serving you and to teaching their children about you and your ways.

Help us all, in all things and all ways, to trust you, to seek your guidance, and to simply take it, to trust and obey as you would have us do. O Lord, above all things, we’re thankful for you sending Jesus the Christ to die on the cross for our sins. We pray that our worship to you will be befitting of the creator of the universe, and that we will do so in a manner that is pleasing in your sight. Keep us safe through this day. Be with all of those who are in need of your special comfort, like the Malden family at this time. It’s in Jesus’ name we do pray. Amen.