The Christian and Modesty

Introduction

Good morning. For those involved, the 20s and 30s group will not meet at the Willingham’s home this evening at 5. We will be meeting at the home of Tim and Michelle Caldwell this evening. If you want more details on that, why don’t you come and we’ll explain it to you then? If you open your Bibles to 1 Peter chapter 3, we’ll read that text in just a moment, but I’d like to begin with a quick story. Brothers like to pick on their sisters, although this isn’t that type of story. Stay tuned, maybe in the future there will be one like that. However, for this morning, I do have a story about my sister, and I think it’s pretty entertaining. Maybe not as much to the other girl involved, but one time when my sister was around four or five years old, it said that it sounds like a legend, doesn’t it?

My dad was pushing her on a swing set, and there was another girl next to her. And for those of you who knew my grandmother, she often knew her history, she knew good stories, and she had told my sister Kaylee about Daniel Boone and how when he was younger he had been able to wrestle a bear with his bare hands. And so as my dad is pushing my sister on the swing, there’s an older girl next to her who’s swinging and says, I’m you know, I’m eight years old and I can swing by myself. To which without skipping a beat, my sister replied, Well, I’m four and I can wrestle a bear.

Yeah, those stories kind of are funny because we know that she can’t wrestle a bear, although, as a brother, sometimes maybe I pose that particular challenge to her in human form. But you consider that when a child says something like that, you you don’t snap and say, You liar, you fool. You laugh. Because there’s innocence. There’s there’s not true thought or consideration of the expression of what they just claimed. Now there comes an age and there’s all, of course, training to be had along the way, but we wouldn’t react that way to that story. There wouldn’t be so much of a giggle if I said that story was between a 45-year-old woman and a 48-year-old woman. I think that would just be rather strange. Not to mention the setting being on a swing and someone’s dad pushing said woman.

But we understand as adults and as Christian people, and 1 Peter is a book in which we are called to certain types of behavior, that we have to give thought and consideration to how we behave. After all, if I walked up to you and you had me into your home one evening for dinner, and I was nothing but insulting and rude, you would expect that I would have been better than that, that I would have thought about what I was going to say before I said it. Or perhaps if I came into your home and put my nice, as my wife likes to say, wonderfully smelling feet around on your furniture. You might also think he should have given some thought and consideration to how he is behaving.

And yet it’s interesting to me that as Christians, sometimes we hold back on one very constant and consistent aspect of our life, and we tend to not give it the thought we should. Oh boy, do we give it thought, but not the thought that a Christian should, I’m afraid. In 1 Peter chapter 3, Peter writes, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear. But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. This morning I’d like to discuss the Christian and modesty. And when we think about modesty, we often think about what I have in, I was going to say the bottom left, but the majority left-hand side of this keynote presentation, and that is clothing. But frankly, that is not all that modesty is, and we have cheapened it in so many ways, and I think we’ll have a moment to discuss those this morning. But modesty is not about rulers and pieces of clothing and how long they are or not, how loose or how skin tight they hang.

1. Being an Example to Others

Modesty is a decision from the heart. Just like the words I would speak or the way I would conduct my very limbs is a matter of choice. How we dress is a decision we make every day, isn’t it? How often do we consider how we dress represents the Lord, though? In 1 Peter chapter 3, I’d like to make the first point this morning from verses 1 and 2. And I think we can simplify it in this way, make a few points from the text here in 1 Peter chapter 3 and from a few verses in 1 Timothy chapter 2, and conclude with some applications this morning. But it starts by being an example to others. Remember what Peter said? Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives.

So what is the situation here? Think with me. Look in your text. Again, I’ve said this many times. I can see when you’re looking, so go ahead and look down with me. Look in your Bibles, and look at the wording here. Be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, there are husbands who have not obeyed Christ. They are not in obedience to the will of God. But they may be one without a word. By what? The conduct of their wives. Might we call that what Jesus did in Matthew chapter 5, being a light to the world? Look with me there. You know the passage, Matthew chapter 5, beginning in verse 14. You are the light of the world.

A city set on a hill cannot be hidden, nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand. And it gives light to all in the house. But look at verse 16. What is the purpose? What is the point of this light illustration? In the same way, let your light shine before others. Okay, got it. But why? So that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. There is a purpose to this light spreading. It’s not so that we’re not in darkness. It’s not so that we get good practice so that we’re in heaven. We’ll be excellent pew pew sitting, worship having Christians. Our light shines, so that our good works will be seen before men, and they will come to do what?

Give glory to us? They say, boy, that’s a special person. To give glory to the Father who is in heaven. We are to be light. And in 1 Peter chapter 3, you have an example where if a woman is to conduct herself in the way that Peter is outlining here, that same purpose is given as Jesus gives in Matthew chapter 5 and verse 16. When they excuse me, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives. When they see your respectful and pure conduct. Now, this is interesting. The very passage that is about to move on and talk about modesty and in a way that we often associate it with clothing. And it is specific to articles of outward adornment. But we see that it’s about what?

Respectful and pure conduct. How does one begin being one who could be said as practicing of respectful and pure conduct? Do you wake up one day and say, you know what? Today I am going to be respectful and I’m going to have purity. I got this down. Or is it a lifetime of discipline? Of consideration of the word after all. If we’re going to be lights to the world of what Jesus has taught, we have to know what Jesus has taught. The words we say, the actions we make are all controlled by what? The heart. And we know the biblical heart is our mind, that which we can discern what is good and evil from, and so behave with the faculties that God has given us.

But consider the impact of how we live is of vital importance. We talk about lifestyle evangelism, and I don’t wish to underscore that, but just to make the analogy, consider what impact we can have, and how powerful it is that the inspired word of God here in 1 Peter chapter 3 makes a specific application to wives with unbelieving husbands, that this particular behavior could assist, or perhaps even bring a man to obeying the gospel. That’s a powerful point indeed. But what we need to see this morning, and I want you to get this very plainly, is modesty, self control. Living as a Christian is about one thing, the heart, it’s about the heart, and it’s about the heart. Did you get that? Modesty is about the heart.

Modesty is a decision we may need to make. What is my goal and how I walk? How I talk. And yes, how I dress. What is my aim? If I wish to see movies that were comprised of filth, I certainly have that choice. It is my choice. I get to decide what I do as long as the Lord wills that I have very breath and faculty of my legs and such on this earth. I can decide that, but many of us would say, no, you need to not put filth into your minds that way. I can certainly talk and tell and be a part of crude jokes. And I can certainly get enjoyment from that in a very physical and carnal way. And yet again, Christians would say, read your Bibles.

That is not how Christians are to talk and what they are to listen to. And yet, for some reason, we often let the idea of our very dress, how we start our daily walk in a quite literal way, sometimes slip by the wayside. What is the goal of a modest Christian? What is the goal of this modesty that stems from the heart? It’s twofold. To serve God and to influence others. You got that with me? What is the goal of being a light to the world? To serve God and to influence others. That is our purpose in life, isn’t it? To glorify God and to help teach as many people out there about that same goal, to help as many people as possible take advantage of the blood of Christ that was shed on the cross for our sins.

2. Do Not Let Your Adorning Be External

If that’s the case, that is radical. It changes not only how we dress, but things far more prominent than that. And I say prominent in the sense that we consider it. But look back in your Bibles at 1 Peter chapter 3 now, and we’re going to read verses 3 and 4. Do not let your adorning be external. The New King James Version may supply the word merely external, and for that I’m grateful in this particular case. The braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear. But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. I hope you’re moved by the phrase, which in God’s sight is very precious.

But we’re going to come back to verse 4 later. Steer your attention back to verse 3. Do not let your adorning be external. Now we need to consider what is this about. Is this a prohibition of braids or gold? Well, no. In fact, if you wanted to be so literal with that, I would contend you would have a problem with the very phrase, do not let your adorning be external. What are we supposed to do? Wear nothing? That is the literal interpretation of this passage. So we need to reject that by noting. What is the comparison here? Look in your Bibles at verses 3 and 4. In verse 3, do not let it be external, the braids, the gold, etc. What is it compared to? Rags?

Or is it we think a very modest and loose dress? That’s not it at all, is it? What is what is the comparison? The external adornment of riches, of we might say, overdress, an interesting point we’ll come back to, and the inward adornment, the Christian’s behavior, the Christian shaped conscience that allows us, enables us not only to see God, but to walk towards him with all that we can do and all that we can understand. And so you see the comparison is between that which is merely external and that which is the importance, which is the internal. And so we see from passages that clothing matters. We all know of the Proverbs 31 woman, don’t we? But if you note, it’s not that she wore rags.

In fact, Proverbs chapter 31 reveals that she wore what? Fine linen and purple. What was purple a symbol of? Say it in your minds. Royalty, right? I don’t know if anyone said that out loud, but I did say in your minds. I appreciate the effort, though. The Proverbs 31 woman, this virtuous woman. Wore fine linens and purple? How can that be? Peter’s against us in 1 Timothy chapter 2. He makes similar comments. But note that in Proverbs chapter 31, it also describes the woman as being clothed with what? Strength and dignity. And that is the essence of how we should dress. That is the essence of a modest Christian as one who is clothed with strength and dignity. But if you if you’re interested in Proverbs, in the case of a different one, in Proverbs chapter 7 and verse 10, look with me there.

What is this individual, both titled, and how is she known as such? In Proverbs chapter 7 and verse 10, and behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. Dressed as a prostitute. Now I want to take this basic idea and drive home the importance of it for just a moment. If you can recognize someone as a prostitute because of the way they’re dressed, that means that clothing does identify us, no matter how much we seek to say that’s not the case. We know who people are based on what they wear. Have you ever seen a policeman? What do they wear? A police uniform. Have you ever seen kids that attend a private school that has a dress code? That has a specific school uniform?

It identifies them as students of that school. Have you ever been to a theme park? You see people dress, perhaps as in the area of the park that you are in. Clothing identifies us all the time. And if you don’t believe it, you’re lying to yourself. And you’re letting Satan edge in what should be God’s territory. Our clothing does make a difference. It makes a difference in how people see us, and it may even lead to a difference in how we behave ourselves. If we don’t make this decision with clothing, where do we draw the line of what’s unimportant? Is it only what we say? Is it only what we do in terms of actions? We need to be consistent. But note back in 1 Peter chapter 3, what is condemned?

I mentioned before it was, in a sense, overdressing. And again, this common problem that we have of modesty in our minds, you think, oh boy, here he’s coming against the short shorts. Or as people call them booty shorts, as if I should even have to preach that Christians should not wear things such as booty shorts.

It saddens me. 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 3. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair, the putting on gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear. By the way, I can’t see jewelry very well, so just know what I’m attempting to say when it spits out. Would this passage also imply, though, that there could be a modesty from under dress? Certainly. We have no problem extending things beyond its absolute literal. First of all, again, as I already pointed out, this would have to be, if you took it absolutely literal, a prohibition against clothing. But also, don’t we say that men can be immodest too? Well, this particular text is to women, but we understand very plainly that these rules apply both ways.

And that, of course, would go with modesty. What is the purpose of this outward adornment? What is the flaw? Is it that Paul hates gold? It annoys them when he’s preaching, it jingles when they walk. It’s something that is distracted from the sound purpose of a Christian, which is what in verse 4? A quiet and gentle spirit. What is precious in God’s sight? The behavior of a Christian woman in this context. It is the heart, the control of the inner self that is what matters to God. But that does not mean the outside does not matter, otherwise he wouldn’t say it this way. The outside matters both in terms of flashiness when we want people to look at me and when we wear too little, which, by the way, also can, whether you intend it this way or not, lead to look at me.

Anytime we have left, look at God and allowed anyone to insert look at them, we have failed as Christians. It doesn’t matter if you put it on to have people look at you. It matters if people do that. And we I know we need to be reasonable, but consider that we are reasonable people, that we have the ability to discern what is good and evil. God has not given us a task which we cannot understand. And if we get caught up in rulers and caught up in what’s too tight and too loose, we will have missed the point that we are to represent God. What is our uniform as Christians? Whatever glorifies God and will teach others that same concept. Why would Jesus’ teachings not apply to what we wear?

Dressing only for the external does lead to several problems. And while I don’t necessarily set this forth as the only reason to not dress immodestly, in particular in light of underdressing, consider Matthew chapter 5 and verse 27. When Jesus is going through the section, what is he saying? You have heard that it was said of old, but I say to you, well, what was it that was said of old in Matthew chapter 5 and verse 27? You have heard that it was said, you shall not commit adultery. Seems straightforward enough, but Jesus says in verse 28, but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her and his heart her in his heart. So consider what this means.

It does mean that men and women have alike an obligation to not be stumbling blocks before other people, including in lust. This applies to all other areas. Whether in the case of the New Testament, it was eating meat, now it applies in the way of perhaps of not creating a lustful stumbling block for men or women to be. But can I say something about this for a moment? We won’t reach this point with most people if we have chosen to dress ourselves to glorify God. This is the underlying facet. Remember, the heart, the heart, the heart. And if someone has a struggle with lust because of something someone’s wearing, certainly that person who is the stumbling block should be approached and told of this problem. And they should be willing and gracious to change if the case was modesty.

3. Be Defined by What Matters

But let me say also that whoever had the problem with lust also needs to be counseled. Because they are struggling with something that Jesus specifically outlined. If we cast the blame only at the feet of the stumbling block, we have missed the other half of the party that is having the error that created this situation. Everyone needs to work together. It is not about casting blame, it’s about getting to heaven. It’s about glorifying God. It’s not he did, she said, he walked, she walked, she watched. It’s about serving God and glorifying him. Consider also, be defined by what matters. In 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 4, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, remember, which is, which in God’s sight is very precious.

But note verse 5 and 6. For this is how the holy women. This is how the holy women. Did you get that? This is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands. As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you are her children, if you do good and you do not fear anything that is frightening. How did these holy women adorn themselves with that which is external? No. The quiet and gentle spirit. It is the internal that matters. We must work this up. This is not just about clothing. This is a lesson to everyone. Be modest. It’s not about just your clothing. That’s certainly a very ready out, uh superficial consequence of this. But just because clothing is something that we think of with modesty doesn’t mean that that’s where our obligation as Christians to be modest ends.

Our obligation is to glorify God in all that we think, say, and do. And anything that says, look at me, is not a modest mindset. It is one of pride and arrogance. Think about the phrase if you were to tell someone, you have a beautiful home. And they say, no, it’s not. You know, it’s it’s just all that we can work up today. And you might say to them, Oh, you’re just being modest. So we understand that word applies in different contexts. We need to understand that we need to be of sound mind when we make decisions. Look at me in 1 Peter, excuse me, 1 Timothy chapter 2. In 1 Timothy chapter 2, beginning in verse 8, Paul writes, I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling.

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness with good works. Can we read verse 10 and put all of us in there? But with what is proper for Christians who profess godliness with good works. How should a Christian be adorned with good works? Why are they adorned that way? Because they chose to be. Because God is who we strive after. Shouldn’t Christians automatically be striving to be godly? You see the same prohibition in verse 9. Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.

What are they to be with, though? Respectable apparel. With modesty and self-control. See, the words there, your Bible may even read if you have a King James version. Shamefastness. Remember the people in Jeremiah’s day in Jeremiah chapter 6 and verse 15? The society was so corrupt. It had gone so far away from the teachings of God that they were unable even to blush. There was no shame. There was no fear, no sadness, nothing to hide, because here we are, we are people. Look at me. That is not what God has taught his children to be like. God’s children should be look at God, not look at me. And when we overdress and when we underdress, we have shifted the focus from the Almighty God who has done everything for us.

4. Spend Time Caring for the Inner Beauty

And may we have shame in that fact if that has happened to us. Some applications. We need to spend time caring for the inner beauty. I wonder how our spiritual lives may improve if we spend as much time studying the word and in prayer as we do preparing our physical bodies to go out. Sometimes we even spend a while to prepare our bodies to go do what? Buy more clothing? What does Proverbs chapter 4 and verse 23 say? Proverbs chapter 4 and verse 23. Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life. Keep your heart with all vigilance. For from it flows the springs of life. The problem with spending time on our outer beauty is not that it’s wrong, because as Christians, we have a responsibility not just to be immodest, but to be modest, to glorify God with what we wear and how we behave.

5. Dress as Stewards of God’s

It’s not just to abstain, it’s to do. And what we need to see then is that if we’re spending that much time on the outer, how much time should we be spending on the inner man? And that can apply to anything that distracts us from the purpose of God. But secondly, we need to dress as stewards of God’s. Do you know why we need to do that? Because we are. Adam preached on this a few weeks ago in 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 19 and 20. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God with your body.

6. Follow God, Not Man

This is not a cliche Christians throw around. We are not just stewards because we like it and it makes us sound good and focused. We were bought with a price. It is time to live out that change. When we are baptized, what does Romans chapter 6 reveal? That we are we put to death the men of sin. We come up a new man, a new creature. We were bought. How dare we act like the rest of the world? And this is what I want to conclude on this morning. We need to follow God, not man. And I know that makes sense to everyone, but I do want to discuss something. Regarding clothing. Where do our clothing trends come from? Do they come from God or from man?

Do you believe for any one second that more than a handful of Christians are in these rooms when they come up with these new products and guidelines for fashion that they sit and say, How can we help people dress with modest apparel? How can what type of clothing can we make for others so that when women come to the store and when men go to pick out their clothing, they can glorify God with how they look. That is not what happens. And you can prove that we follow a man on this because what would happen if what was the in fashion and has been for a decade, so it’s had time to seep in, was nothing but loose, modest clothing. Do you think we’d see as much immodesty?

We would not. We would see people following the fashions. And I have a problem with that. If the style was loose and covered, what would we see? A bunch of loose and covered people.

Brothers and sisters, we need to not be surprised. Not be shocked, not even be upset that in the day that we submit ourselves to follow rank and file with the rest of the world, that we march on, we follow the world, and one day we look at the doorstep of hell and find that we walk straight with them there. We are not to be like the world. We are to be lights set on a lampstand. We don’t cover the light. We shine the light. Why? To glorify God and to lead others to do the same. And when we allow things like the magic of heat, sand, and water to make us wear things that in any other circumstance, we would run for cover and hide ourselves, hide our nakedness.

When we decide that we can wear this because everyone else is doing it, we have followed the world. And we will follow them to where every sinner is going to go. That is, every sinner who has not come into contact with the blood of Christ. Every sinner who’s not recognized that God has the antidote to sin. And it is more than just saying a few words, confessing the name and being baptized. It is a life spent in devoting ourselves to God. And if we don’t show it with our clothing, what does that say about our hearts? If I have to look at someone and think that they’re just like everyone else, have I glorified God? If someone looks at me and says, Why is he wearing that?

Conclusion

Perhaps I might have a conversation. Perhaps the wife who holds herself with respectful conduct may win over without a word her unbelieving husband. Because the power of the gospel is stronger than the wills of man. God will live for all eternity. The question is, will we be with him there? Or will we submit without a thought to following the ways of the world? Consider this morning that this day God has given us an opportunity to turn to Him. To not be like everyone else, but to be like His Son. His Son who in perfect obedience lived a life away from the glory of heaven. And he came to be mogged, excuse me, to be flogged, to be scourged, and to be crucified on the cross for our sins.

Will you pick up your cross and follow after him this morning? The opportunity is now. Obey God today. Come forward right now as we stand and as we sing.