The Spiritual Instruction of Children – Part 2

Introduction

After Bible class was over, I was talking with Brother Paul, and he said, Do you like it here? I said, I love it here. Uh my family and I, in the short time we’ve been here, we have loved it, and I’m sure that we will continue to do so. Um I consider this a tremendous blessing to be among you, and I view this as a very strong group and a very special group, and uh look forward to our our future together as we continue to serve the Lord and strive to improve ourselves and help one another. I began uh talking last week, and I’m going to end talking today about the nucleus of the home for the spiritual training of children.

That there are a lot of young people that are lost after college, or rather, after high school, and we’re losing a lot of circles are the wrong solutions. Youth ministries and entertaining Bible classes. Those are not the solutions. The only solution to the problem that we’re losing young people in the church is the home, the parent. And so what we’re going to do this morning is we’re going to look at just how do we, as parents, do this teaching to maintain, to really perpetuate the community of faith into the next generation. And we’re going to break it down into three phases. And these are number one, discipline, number two, doctrine, and number three, discipleship. So, you know any good preacher when he has three points, especially when they all start by the same letter.

So I’ve got that down today. So we’ve got discipline, doctrine, and discipleship. Not to say I’m a good preacher, but that I got that part down anyway. Now, these three phases build on one another. So you cannot start with discipleship. You can’t even start with doctrine. You start with discipline, and building on that is doctrine, and building on that on that is discipleship. All three of these phases must be carried out effectively. So that you can’t skip one of them. You can’t half do any one of them. All three of these have to be done effectively by the parents. If we are to ensure that this community of faith perpetuates in this culture of opposition known as the world around us. And let me reiterate before we really dive in and start having some fun here.

1. Discipline: Training Children to Obey With Honor

Let me remind you what I said last week that I’m young. I didn’t have to remind you of that, but that I do this with great humility, realizing that so many of you have such greater experience than I have raising children and grandchildren and even great grandchildren. But let’s look at God’s word together. And so, number one is discipline. And if you have your outlines, you might be going along and filling these out. Some of these blanks to fill in on your outlines will be big words for some of you kids, but I have come to find that kids are much more capable than sometimes we realize. Training children to obey with an attitude of honor is discipline. And so that’s what Paul said in Ephesians chapter 6.

Remember, this was our main passage from last week. Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. And so you have not only obedience, you have honor. I am just sometimes amazed, you know, when I’m in public places, and you’ll just see a child say to his mom or dad, no. And to see the reaction of the mom and dad almost as, oh Johnny, you shouldn’t talk that way. And I’m thinking, really? You need me to volunteer. I’ll take him out back and spank him for you if you need me to. That child needs to be dealt with to talk that way to your parents to whom you should have honor.

Or when parents say, uh, Susie, come here. And Susie ignores. Come here, honey. Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here. Don’t make me count to three. One, two. And you ever notice that the parents never get to three. You ever notice that? Those parents will often chase their child down, and there ends up being no consequence, and those children are basically reinforced that they don’t have to really listen. Mom and Dad don’t really mean what they say the first time every time. That should be the way it is. And not just the first time every time, but with an attitude of respect. Without the rolling of the eyes or the or the huffs and the stomping off. Doing it and doing it with a good attitude, realizing the one that asks you to do it is your mom or your dad.

And they deserve that respect because of the position that they maintain. Just like if you’re in the army, your upper rank deserves you might not like them sometimes, but they are they are above you, and so they deserve your honor. You know, I think that my children have learned that when I say it’s time to go here as a church building, that what that means is that I’m going to start inching towards the door, and that I’m going to talk to 18 people before I actually get to the door, and so they’ve learned that, well, I’ve got at least 10 20 more minutes to play when dad says it’s time to go. And I started noticing, all right, kids, let’s go. And for five seconds they’re at my feet and then they’re gone.

And then I have to go chase them down, okay, it’s time to go, and then I get to talking to somebody and they’re gone again. And I so I told them, now listen, when I say it’s time to go, you are on my heels. And uh, if we don’t leave for twenty minutes, then you stand right in my little circle until we get out the door because I’m not chasing you down over and over. Now my kids aren’t perfect at that. My kids don’t always obey the first time every time. And I don’t always enforce it like I should, but I tell you, that’s my goal. And there is no parent who’s a perfect parent, but our goal as parents need to be child, first time, every time, with an attitude of respect and honor.

Now, this training can only be done by parents. It cannot be done by the church. He who withholds his rod hates his son. But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Now the church can discipline for the one hour that they have your child in Bible class, maybe. Maybe. But the only way a discipline dis diligent discipline can take place is by the parents in the home. A parent who refuses to enforce discipline, who allows their child to talk back to them without any punishment being dealt out. Is number one, a parent who does not care about the perpetuation of God’s people. Because remember the promise? Children obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise.

What’s the promise? So that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. The perpetuation of the community of faith. And we looked last week at taking that back to the context of Deuteronomy. It shall be well with you in the land which you are going over to possess, which was the land of Canaan. These enemies they were surrounded with. Parents, teach your children. Children, honor your parents. That is God’s promise. It is God’s guarantee that this community of faith, which is our children, will perpetuate into the future. Amen. And that’s what we are to be about. I love an amen in congregation. I’m learning that you are one. And so I appreciate that about you so much. Secondly, a parent who does not enforce discipline is willing to accept his or her child becoming a picture of Romans chapter one, if you will turn to Romans chapter one, where we see in this chapter the degradation of a society that knows not God, that turns its back on the Lord.

And so we begin reading in verse 18. For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven, the wrath of God, against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth and unrighteousness. Because that which is known about God is evident within them, for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes, his eternal power, and his divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. It’s an interesting thing there. They’re invisible attributes, but they are clearly seen. For even though they knew not God, they did not honor him as God or gave thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened, professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and forfeited animals and crawling creatures.

Therefore, God gave them over to the lust of their hearts, to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the creator who is blessed forever, Amen. And so at this point, he is condemning the heinous sin of idolatry. He starts with idolatry. And at this point, we’re all saying, Amen. Verse 26, for this reason God gave them over to degrading passions. For their women exchange the natural function for that which is unnatural. And in the same way also the men abandon the natural function of the woman and burn in their desire toward one another. Men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.

So here we have the horrible sin of homosexuality. So idolatry, homosexuality. Verse 28 continuing, and just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice. They are gossip, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil. And what’s the next one? Disobedient to parents. Without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful. And although they know the ordinance of God that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but they also give hearty approval to those who practice them. I mean, here’s this context where Paul is dealing with idolatry, homosexuality, murder, and also another heinous sin.

Disobedient to parents. It is a big deal, children, when you disobey and dishonor your mother and your father. And I believe that it is a big deal when we as parents accept that behavior. We are willing to allow our child to become a picture of that because they will become whatever we allow them to become.

2. Doctrine: What to Believe and Why

You know, approve of homosexual marriage. How dare our society legalize murder through abortion? Well, how dare we, as parents, allow our children to dishonor and to disobey us? It is a responsibility that we have to discipline our children. That’s number one. Secondly, doctrine. Doctrine. This is teaching your children what to believe and why to believe it. Now that’s a big thing because kids have questions. Teenagers have harder questions. And if we just deal with their questions in an offhanded way and give them canned, superficial answers, that is not dealing with our children the way we ought to. That is not teaching them the depth of doctrine that we need to be teaching them. They want reasons. And you know what? There are reasons, but they need to be told and explained the reasons why we do what we do.

And it’s not just because, well, if you don’t do it, you’ll go to hell. There. We need to explain it for them. A child that has not first formed discipline is unteachable. You ever had a child like that in your Bible class? Mr. Harkriter is saying yes. He’s probably had a lot more than me because he’s been around longer, but I’ve had a few. I remember a kid one time, he was probably 12 or 13. He would slouch in his chair till I thought he was going to fall out. And he’d prop his head up like this. And he kicked his shoes off. And I said, uh uh. Not in my class. You put those shoes on and sit up straight. And I would see him out in the auditorium during worship service.

He’d have his shoes off and had them up on the pew in front of him as he was slouched down, looked like he was in a lazy boy about to fall asleep. You couldn’t teach a child like that. And so a child that has not been taught discipline at home is impossible to teach doctrine to. So that’s why discipline must come first. Now the church cannot provide all the teaching, all the doctrine that must be done in one or two hours a week. I talked last week about the fact that the church Bible class is a supplement, and if all we did was feed our children vitamins all the time, they would die. But yet some parents want to feed their children the supplement of Bible class one to two hours a week, as if that’s all the spiritual instruction they need.

You know what will happen to your children spiritually? They will starve. They need more than that. In 2 Timothy chapter 3 and verse 15, Paul, speaking to this young preacher, said that from childhood you have known the sacred writings. The sacred writings, which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation, which is in Christ Jesus. Well, how did Timothy learn those sacred writings? Chapter 1 and verse 5, for I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice. And I am convinced is in you as well.

And that is how children are taught doctrine, primarily in the home. That’s the nucleus is the home. Doctrine must be taught regularly, and it must be taught effectively. Hear, O Israel. The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. And these words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart, and you shall teach them diligently. This is verse 7. Teach them diligently, that is the words of God, to your sons, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. Very interesting. This first phrase, you shall teach them diligently as one word in the Hebrew.

And must say 20 words, and out comes one English word in the English dubbed movie. So you have five words here in English, but it’s one word in the original Hebrew here in the Old Testament. And that word has neither the word diligently nor the word teach as a part of the word itself at all. It is the word for sharpen. That’s what the word is. Sharpen God’s words to your children. Now, every other time we find that word, it is translated sharpen or wet, W H E T. For example, Deuteronomy chapter 32 and verse 41. It says, if I sharpen, and I’m in Deuteronomy 32, 41, I go really fast, so I’m sorry. You have to be a fast slipper, okay? But if I sharpen my flashing sword and my hand takes hold on, justice, I will render vengeance on my adversaries, and I will repay those who hate me.

Well, what’s the word there? It’s shonan. It’s the same Hebrew word. When you have sharpened, or your version might say W-H-E-T, wet, which means to sharpen. Same word that we have here in Deuteronomy 6 and verse 7, but in Deuteronomy 6 7, it is translated, you shall teach them diligently. You look at the parallel in Deuteronomy 11 and verse 19. This is the parallel to Deuteronomy 6 and verse 7. It says the same basic thing. Deuteronomy 11 19 says, You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk along the road, and when you lie down and when you rise up. It’s the same verse, but it’s a totally different word for teach. Here in Deuteronomy 11.19, it is the regular word for teach, impart information.

But in Deuteronomy 6 7, it’s the word for sharpen. You really think about this for a minute. Deuteronomy is a book of the speeches of Moses, which he which he preached on the plains of Moab shortly before the Israelites were to enter into the land of Canaan. This is after the wandering in the wilderness. So that generation that was faithless had died in the wilderness, and this was their children, and they were warriors. They weren’t afraid of giants. They had defeated Og, king of Bashan, and Sihon, king of the Amorites, on the east side of the Jordan. They knew what it meant to sharpen your sword. And they’re about to go into Canaan and defeat the enemy with the edge of the sword. And when you use a blade consistently, like they did, it gets dull.

And to keep that blade sharp takes work. Some of you know that who actually sharpen your pocket knives. I don’t, because I don’t sharpen a pocket knife. I don’t have the patience to do it, I guess. But if you use it often, you’ve got to sharpen it. So teach them diligently. Now, this sharpening, you know, don’t think of it like you know, you’re sitting down to a uh one of those grinders, you know, bench grinders, and you just, you know, zap and sparks fly everywhere, and now I got a sharp sword again. No, this was this was the way that they were used to. It would have been a method of somewhat like uh we do it by hand today, where you file that blade down and then you use a wedding stone, and then you might even sand it.

It’s a it’s a process that takes what? Diligence. So can you see why the translators translated it instead of sharpen, you shall teach them diligently to your sons. I think that that is a beautiful thing. I used to have a set of kitchen knives that were dull. I mean, you couldn’t cut a cucumber. You ever had any knives like that? And like I said, I don’t sharpen knives. I uh I never have, I don’t think I’ve ever done it. I preached this a similar lesson, and I made this same illustration that I’m making right now, that I had a really pathetic, dull set of knives, and uh that my birthday was coming up. And if anybody wanted to send me a set of knives, and I was joking, ha ha, you know, and got a little chuckle.

Well, my birthday came, and this is a congregation in in Alabama, in Athens, Alabama, where I preached this. Some of you are here. And uh, you know what we got in the mail around my birthday? A set of sharp kitchen knives. I was in heaven. I mean, sharp knives do the job. They get the job done. They do what they were intended to do. You see that’s the point here. It it’s sharpen God’s words to your church. It’s not sharpen your children. It sharpen them. What is the them? God’s words. Sharpen God’s words to your children. Uh you might think of Hebrews 4 12 that the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, which is a related verse. But that passage in Hebrews 4 is talking about the fact that God’s word is effective.

This passage is saying use God’s word effectively. Sharpen God’s words to your children so that it will penetrate their souls and it will do what it was intended to do. Because some of us are trying to wield a dull blade with our kids, and it’s having no effect on them whatsoever. So I like the translation. Sharpen. Well, that’s not a translation. I like the translation, you shall teach them diligently. But perhaps another good translation would be teach incisively. Or teach penetratingly, because that’s our duty as moms and as dads. By the way, a couple of days or maybe weeks after my birthday, after we got that first set, guess what arrived in the mail? Another set. So that says a lot for Alabama. Because they were very generous, that church.

And I don’t know who sent that second set because there was no name. It was anonymous. So we weren’t able to return a thank you. So whoever that is, we we do appreciate it very much. Not that you’re in this audience, but it could possibly be.

Whether you’re in your house or whether you’re somewhere else going somewhere. It doesn’t just have to be at Bible hour in your house with your kids, that’s great. But anywhere you are. Now we don’t walk a lot of places today. We drive a lot of places. You know when one of the best times to talk to your kids is about the Bible?

When you’re driving. That’s one of my favorite times. You know why? They’re strapped in. They can’t go anywhere. I’ve got a captive audience. I love it. Alright, so we’re turning off the radio. Kids, stop killing each other. Everybody be quiet, listen. We’re going to talk about the word of God. Parents say, Well, I don’t have time to teach my kids. I I’m sympathetic with that. I know what it means to be busy. What we have to do is utilize those dead times or make the most of times, whether they’re dead or not. Stop doing what we were doing. You’re driving in the car to the baseball field. You’re driving in the car on the way to school. There’s an opportunity. When you sit in your house, when you walk by the way.

When you lie down, when you rise up. What does that mean? Lie down and rise up. Well, it means whether it’s nighttime or morning time. Now you know what? You’re not going to be able to teach your kids at bedtime or morning time if you’re not there. We need to be there. Our kids need our time. And that’s the only way if we’re around our kids. That’s the only way we’re going to be able to teach them is by being around them. Oh. This is so important. It’s hard for me to express how important it is. Just around the house. Maybe you’re sitting down at dinner. You might think, well, I’m not a very good teacher. I don’t know how to teach. Well, you know what we all can do?

You can just start this today. Strike up spiritual conversations. You know, I love to do this around the dinner table. All right, everybody, we’re going to say something wonderful about Jesus. And we just go around the table and everybody says something different about Jesus. And that gets inevitably it gets the conversation going. Your kids and you should be used to just discoursing, just talking about God. We need to drill Bible facts with our kids.

Really? It’s amazing sometimes what your kids don’t know. When Stone was four, Stone is my middle child, he’s now six. When he was four, his answer to every Bible question was Moses. That was just his go-to answer. If he was ever in doubt, he figured if I say Moses, I’ve got a pretty good shot at getting it right. And he would just get on autopilot, and I asked him one time, who is who was the mother of Jesus? And he looked at me with all seriousness and said, Moses. And I thought, I have done a terrible job parenting somewhere. Because that is wrong in so many ways. But, you know, we laugh at that at a four-year-old, but what about a 14-year-old who doesn’t know who the mother of Jesus was?

What about a 14 or a 15-year-old who doesn’t know who betrayed Jesus or doesn’t know how many days Jesus was in the tomb? What about when you have a 16-year-old who doesn’t know who Samuel was, or doesn’t know what David did, or has no idea who Ruth was, or who Esther was, or couldn’t tell you what happened on the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth days of creation. They have no doctrine. And if they don’t know it, it’s because we as parents have failed them. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, moms and dads. I’m trying to remind us all start from where you are, and let’s make sure that what we’re doing into the future is that we are instilling God’s word into the hearts of our sons and of our daughters.

Parents are to give their children substance, not platitudes, not simply rights and wrongs, not moralisms. Substance. In Exodus 12, look at what Moses said. And when your children say to you, What does this right mean to you? Speaking of the Passover, you shall say, It is a Passover sacrifice to the Lord, who passed over the houses of the sons of Israel in Egypt when he smote the Egyptians but spared our homes. And the people bowed low and worshiped. So the child asked, What is this Passover meal? Well, um, okay, let me tell you. Uh it was the tenth plague, and God, and you just go through the spill like that. Oh, well, okay, we got to go. No, the point of this, and this is just giving you the gist of it.

The point of this is take that opportunity to teach your child substance. Don’t just answer the question because your kids will ask questions, and you get tired of hearing those questions. Over and over, there’s questions all the time, and you might roll your eyes and say, okay, all right, let me answer this question and get on with my life. Stop and teach your children so that this Israelite, when his son asked him, Tell me, what is this Passover? All right, sit down. Sit down, son. Let’s talk. There were ten plagues. And we saw these with our very eyes in Egypt. And the tenth plague was the death of the firstborn. And God commanded the Israelites to take a lamb and to kill it. And to put the blood around the door, around the door frame on the lentil on the doorpost.

And that God would pass over the houses that did that. And we ate the lamb and we ate a meal with unleavened bread because we were going to be in a hurry to get out of Egypt. And that angel passed over our houses. God is so good, isn’t he? He’s so merciful and compassionate. But he did not pass over the houses of the Egyptians. And their firstborns died. You see the difference. It’s an opportunity to teach. We see the same point made in Exodus 13, and we’re for sake of time going to move forward. Joshua also makes the same point after Moses dies. Teach your children when they ask you these questions. Our children ask questions all the time. I was telling Mr. and Mrs. Harkrite, I remember one time when Ty was young, I think he was, I don’t know, three or four, he asked me a question, and I just wanted to see how many times he would ask the question.

Just out of curiosity. So I didn’t answer him. He asked that question 36 times. And I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I had to answer. Children ask questions all the time. Well, when they do that, stop. And your child says, What is the Lord’s Supper about? Well, how do we answer? Well, the bread represents the body of the Lord, and the fruit of the wine represents his blood, and we take this every first day of the week. Every first day of the week, because the denominations don’t do that, so we make sure to do that. And that’s that’s what we do. And you leave them with that? That is not substance. You say, sit down, son, sit down, daughter. On the night that Jesus was betrayed.

He took bread and he said, Eat this. It’s my body. And he took fruit of the vine, and he told his disciples, drink this. It represents my blood that is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. And then he went to the garden of Gethsemane, and he was arrested and betrayed. And he was taken. And they put a crown of thorns and pressed it into his scalp. And they blindfolded him and beat him with a rod. And they spat upon our Savior. And they took Jesus and they scourged him with a whip that had pieces of bone and metal in it that just shred his back to pieces. And they took the Lord of heaven, who never did one thing wrong, and they took large nails and violently hammered these nails through his wrists and through his ankles.

3. Discipleship: Showing Them How to Apply It

And he suffered for hours by his own creation. And he died to pay the price that you and I deserve when we sin. That’s what we remember when we take the Lord’s Supper. It’s an opportunity to teach our children and to give them substance. So, doctrine. And this doctrine needs to start early. Don’t think, well, they’re too young. Kids get a lot more than we sometimes give them credit for. In Proverbs 22 and verse 6, train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. So start young. Start teaching them. Let their first words be Jesus and God. So we have discipline. We have doctrine, and thirdly, we have discipleship. I’m going to be brief on this one.

Discipleship means showing your children how to apply what they have been taught. Showing your children how to apply what they have been taught. It is teaching them how to live. That since this is true, this is how we live, this is how we treat one another. This is how we worship God. And the best way you show that is it’s a sign on your hand and it’s a frontless between your eyes. It’s something you do, and it’s something that they see in your actions. You set an example. But discipleship cannot take place until doctrine has first formally been established. Because how can you teach them to apply what they’ve been taught if they haven’t been taught anything? They’ve just gone to Bible class one or two hours a week and learn hopefully some good things there.

But if they haven’t been taught diligently, then they won’t have a wealth of teaching to then make application to how to live. All they will have, if you don’t give them doctrine, which can’t happen unless you give them discipline, all your children will have, all my children would have are moralisms. A set of do’s and don’ts. And as soon as they graduate high school, if that’s all they have, then they’re going to start doing what they think is right because they’re out from under your authority. And that’s why we’re losing so many young people.

Conclusion

Because they haven’t been taught as they should have been done. But once discipline, doctrine, and discipleship have been taught and implemented effectively, then the chances of faithfulness will be multiplied exponentially. And it will still be up to your children. But the chances of them remaining faithful will be multiplied. Brethren, this is the way God has planned for us to do it discipline, doctrine, discipleship. If we do God’s things, God’s ways, we’ll get God’s results. If we do God’s things, man’s ways, and think that the way to keep young people is through entertaining Bible classes and through youth programs. You know whose results we’ll get? We’ll get man’s results. And an entire generation will be lost in the process. You know, the very last verse of the Old Testament prophesies about the coming of Elijah, who is John the Immerser.

And that he would come teaching so that the hearts of the fathers would be turned back to their children and the hearts of their children back to their fathers. That is God’s plan for multi generational faithfulness. And I hope and pray that the hearts of us fathers and mothers will be turned back to our children, and the hearts of our children to us fathers and mothers. Would you bow your head with me in prayer? Our God, we worship your name. We realize the grave responsibility that we have as parents to teach our children. And we realize that, in a sense, this school is always in session. That our children are always watching us and learning from us. And that this teaching needs to take place every day, regularly.

We pray, Father, that you would give us the diligence to sharpen your word to our children so that it will penetrate their soul and enter their inner being, and that they will grow up, Father, to live long on this earth, serving you so that the next generation would continue to perpetuate in this culture of opposition around us. Thank you so much for setting the example of what a father should be to us, your children. Through your Son we pray. Amen. Well, brethren and those who are not Christians, if you’re not a child of God, then you’re not part of his family. Plain and simple. You’re not part of that household. And you can become one. And our Father is a father who disciplines, but he is a father who loves.

And that’s why he disciplines. And he’s a father who saves to the uttermost. It is the greatest blessing that I can begin to explain. And I can’t really explain it, of what it means to be a Christian. If you’re not one, I want to encourage you to become a child of God. Be born a second time by water and by spirit. That’s the waters of baptism, brethren. If you’re not a Christian, then why don’t you come believing in the Lord, repenting of your sins, and be born again of water and the Spirit, and continue to live faithfully before Him. And He will save you by His grace and by His mercy. If we can assist you now, won’t you come? As we stand and sing the Song of Invitation.