Verses That Will Protect Your Marrriage

Introduction

I invite you to please go ahead and get your Bible back out this morning and make your way over into the Gospel of Matthew, please. Go on your Bible to Matthew the 19th chapter. Matthew chapter 19. We’re gonna be reading a section of scripture in Matthew 19 in just a moment. As you turn to Matthew 19, get settled and get ready to study. Let me just say good morning to you. It’s so good to see you this morning. It has been a wonderful day of worship to God. Our brothers have done a wonderful job leading us in our worship. I appreciate them so very much. And I appreciate all of you who are here this morning to worship God and his son in spirit and in truth.

Such a blessing to be here. If you were one of my friends on the social media platform of Facebook a couple of weeks ago, then it is very likely that you saw this.

Did you by any chance see this on social media a couple of weeks ago? If you did, then I want you to know something. I want you to know that it was all a lie. It was all one big fat lie. This woman is not my sick aunt. I’ve never met this woman a day before in my life. She’s not my sick aunt dying of cancer. And I don’t have a bunch of cars and tractors that I’m trying to sell right now to cover her medical expenses. And I haven’t been using Facebook as my own personal marketplace. Instead, what happened was someone hacked my account. Someone invaded my privacy. Someone infiltrated my Facebook account and pretended to be me to cheat people out of money. That’s what happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

And let me just ask you has it ever happened to you before? It ever happened to you before. You ever had someone break into one of your social media accounts or maybe your bank account? Or maybe they broke into your home or one of your cars, or maybe someone tried to break into your life and steal your identity. Brothers and sisters, we cherish all of these things. And we do our best to secure and protect them. But let me ask you this now. Let me ask you about marriage. What about marriage? What about the relationship we have with our spouse? Are we doing our best right now to secure and protect that like we do our social media pages? And like we do our homes and our cars and our bank accounts and our phones and our tablets.

I ask you that question because I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not. But marriage is under attack. Marriage is under attack in our culture and in our society. It is under attack not just by things like divorce and homosexual marriage and the rising number of couples who are living together without the benefits of marriage, but it is also under attack through the threat of erosion, through the threat of cracks and leaks and infestation that can weaken and destroy it over time. It’s kind of like buying a brand new house. You see, when you buy a brand new house, at first, when you walk in, everything is beautiful, right? Everything is fresh, it’s new, it’s clean, it’s spotless, solid, and without cracks. But if that house is not constantly monitored and kept up and maintained, well, what can happen to it over time?

Well, over time, it can start to go down. It can start to wear it down, it can start to not look like it did before. That roof may begin to sag, and leaks and cracks that began as small and were ignored, where they can worsen and get more serious, and that yarn can start to get out of control, and even the structure and the foundation of the home can begin to crumble. You see, if a brand new house is not looked after and kept up and maintained, that is exactly what can happen to it over time. And that same thing, that same thing is also true when it comes to marriage. You see, what can start out is something that is strong and solid and full of optimism and joy can eventually become a relationship that is sour.

And it is stale and it’s routine, and it’s two people living together. They’re sharing their address, but they’re no longer excited about each other. They’re no longer enthusiastic and passionate about each other because they’ve allowed the devil to invade their marriage like termites. Well, they’re now easily irritated with each other. And they don’t really like each other, and they no longer spend time together nurturing their relationship, and they’re full of pride and ego and selfishness and even wondering eyes. You see, if we’re not careful, that’s exactly what can happen to your marriage. And that’s also what can happen to my marriage. And the question is, how do we protect our marriages? How do we keep the devil out of our marriages? How do we make sure that our marriages are strong and secure and everything God wants them to be?

1. Jesus Talks About Marriage Before Divorce

Well, this morning in this lesson, for a few minutes, I want to answer those questions. I want to answer those questions from the Bible. In fact, what I really want to do this morning is I just want to give you some verses, for verse, some verses from the Bible that I believe will guard secure and protect our marriages. And let’s begin with what we find right here in Matthew chapter 19 and verse 3. Are you in Matthew chapter 19? Look with me at verse number 3. This is during a time when Jesus is teaching large crowds of people. And we’re in the final week of Jesus’ life, and the temperature has been risen. His enemies are really trying to get rid of him. And they come to him in verse number 3.

And Matthew chapter 19 and verse 3. It says, Some Pharisees came to Jesus testing him and asking, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all? And he answered and said, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female? And said, For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they’re no longer two but one flesh, where therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Now I want you to notice very carefully what the Bible tells us in verse number three. Do you see verse number three? I want you to notice how all of this teaching that Jesus gives on this occasion, it begins with a question.

It begins with the Pharisees coming to Jesus with a question intended to test him, intended to trap him. They come to him with a question that was considered at that time, and it’s also considered today to be a very controversial question. It’s the question of when is it okay to get a divorce? When is it okay to get a divorce and still be right with God? What would you do if someone asked you that question this morning? If someone pulled you aside this morning, they pulled you aside in the lobby, they pulled you into a classroom, they pulled you aside in the parking lot, and they asked you, when is it okay to get a divorce? What would you say to them? What would you say to them?

Can I tell you what I fear? I fear that for many of us, if we were put on the spot and asked that question this morning, we might be quick to immediately skip over everything Jesus says there in those verses and go right to verse number nine. I fear that we might be quick to go right to the verse that it’s to only be implemented when the house has crumbled. When the house is completely torn down, when the house is in a situation where it can’t be repaired. If someone put us on the spot this morning and asks us that question, we might be quick to say, Well, you know what? God allows a divorce, but only in one specific case, and that’s when you got an innocent person putting a guilty person away for sexual immorality.

That may be the first thing we say to somebody. And while that is exactly what verse 9 does say, I want you to notice that Jesus has a whole lot more to say about this before you even get to that verse. The last time I checked, before you get to verse number nine, you got verses four to verse number six. Before talking about the one exception in which God allows for divorce, notice how Jesus first talks about marriage. Jesus talks about marriage before he talks about divorce. Jesus talks about God’s original intent for marriage. Jesus first talks about permanency and oneness and how God is involved in that relationship because he’s the one who glues or joins them together. God glues and joins the man and the woman together in marriage.

Before talking about divorce, Jesus talks about marriage. And I submit that reminding ourselves of these verses, regard, secure, and protect our marriages. They will guard, secure, and protect our marriages because they will always help us be mindful of the fact that with the obvious exception being God Himself, no one, no one on this earth is to come before our spouse. No one on this earth is to be more important to us than our spouse, our kids, as much as we love them. And I’m a daddy. As much as we love our kids, as much as we’re proud of them, and we brag about them, and they even possess our DNA and look like us, they are not more important than our spouse. And even though our parents raised us and they took care of us, and they love us, and they may have even been the first people to teach us the Bible and bring us to Jesus Christ, they are not to be more important to us than our spouse.

In fact, Jesus says that when a man and a woman get married, they are to leave father and mother and be joined to one another. They are to be glued to one another. They are to become one flesh. That language, one flesh implies that the relationship between a husband and his wife is the most important relationship on this earth. It is more important than the relationship we have with our mama and our daddy. It is more important than the relationship we have with our kids. It is more important than the relationship we have with each other. It is more important than our jobs and our hobbies and our goals and our ambitions. Again, with the obvious exception being God Himself, the Bible teaches that no one should matter more to us than our spouse.

No relationship should be more important than the union and the covenant we have with our spouse. That means practically that if we’re blessed to be married this morning, and there are a lot of people in this room who are like me, and you are blessed to be married. If we’re blessed to be married this morning, we need to be making sure that we’re doing what God says when it comes to this. We need to be making sure that we are choosing to put our spouse first. We need to be making sure that we’re giving our spouse the time and the attention that they need from us. We need to be making sure that they alone have our eyes. And our eyes are not wandering all over the place and lingering and lusting upon people that we don’t have a right to be with.

We need to be making sure that they alone have our hearts. And our hearts are not fluttering and fantasizing about people who are not our spouse. Going back to where Brother Frank read this morning and Song of Solomon 6 in verse number 3 I am my beloved, and my beloved is mine. That needs to be the mindset of married people. We need to be making sure that our spouse has our heart and our full heart. God first, and then our spouse. We need to be making sure that we give our spouse our bodies and the sexual relationship and no one else, and that we’re being faithful to them, and we’re never abandoning them, and we’re never leaving their side. In fact, isn’t that exactly what we promised on the day we got married?

We talked about this in our Bible class. Think back to the day you got married. Can you see that day? Can you see that moment again? Women, can you see the dress you had on again? Men, can you see your bride when you stood before her on that day? Do you remember your wedding day? What did you say on that day? On that day, and for us, we didn’t have a wedding. We spent $40 at the justice of the peace, but we’re just as married as anybody else in the room. But on that day, when we got married, did we not look into the eyes of our spouse and make the promises that Jesus talks about right here in Matthew 19? Did we not promise to choose them above anyone else?

And to be with them for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poor, and until death separates us. Did we not make those promises on the day in which we were married? You and I both know that’s exactly what we promised, and constantly being mindful of what Jesus says here in the gospel will keep those promises before us.

As we have a ton of stuff to do on our jobs, and when it comes to raising our kids, and when it comes to getting them to all these different extracurricular activities, and when it comes to paying our bills and doing yard works, and maybe, maybe we’re even taking care of aged parents right now. Maybe we’re caregivers. As we have all these things to do on a daily basis, the words of Jesus here will protect our marriages because they remind us that with the obvious exception being God, no one should come before our spouse. No one should come before the person that we are one with in this life. Matthew 19, verses 3 through 6 are verses that will help us, that will help secure and protect our marriages.

2. Regard One Another as More Important Than Yourselves

But now let me give you another section of scripture, and that’s found in Philippians chapter 2. When you go in your Bible down to Philippians chapter 2, and I want you to listen to what the Apostle Paul has to say here about Christianity and about Jesus and what it means to serve Jesus. In Philippians chapter 2, verse number 3, the apostle Paul says this. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interest, but also for the interest of others, have this attitude or this mind in yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus. I want you to really ponder on those verses for just a moment.

These verses here are counterculture. They’re counterculture. By counterculture, what I mean is these verses here go against the common thinking of our culture. They challenge us to think different than our culture. They challenge us to think different than the vast majority of people in our culture. You see, unlike the vast majority of people in our culture and in our society, according to what the Apostle Paul says here, being a Christian, being a follower of Jesus, it’s not about me living for me. It’s not about me being selfish and self-centered. It’s not about me solely focusing on my needs and my wants and my desires. It’s not about me living my life all puffed up and wanting other people to exalt me and put me on a pedestal and me only caring about getting my way.

Paul says that is not what being a Christian is about. Instead, being a Christian is about being like Jesus. It’s about being humble like Jesus. It’s about serving like Jesus, loving like Jesus, esteeming others like Jesus. Being willing to put the needs of others even before my own needs, like Jesus, when he went to the cross for my sins. That’s what being a Christian is all about. And brothers and sisters, this is especially true when it comes to marriage. These verses here don’t just apply to the relationship we have with other brothers and sisters in Christ. No, these verses also apply to marriage. And for our young people here this morning, I want you to hear me on this. Listen carefully. For all of our young people here this morning who desire to one day get married, please understand what the Bible is teaching here.

Please understand that marriage isn’t solely about you. It isn’t solely about you receiving a mate and receiving some companionship. It isn’t a relationship where you ought to walk around constantly thinking to yourself, what is my spouse going to do for me today? What is my spouse going to do to make me happy? How’s my spouse going to serve me and make me feel good? That’s not what marriage is intended to be about. Instead, marriage is to be a relationship where two people, a man and a woman, are devoted to serving each other. They’re devoted to having a mind like Jesus together. They’re devoted to living their lives each and every day, asking the question of, what can I do for my spouse? What can I do for my spouse?

What do they need? How can I serve them? How can I make them happy? How can I bring them joy? What can I say to encourage them and build them up and lift their spirits? How can I show them that they’re important and that they’re valuable to me? How can I help them spiritually? What do they need me to pray about this morning? What do they need me to pray about before we go to bed? How can I help draw them closer to God? What books or topics from the Bible do they need me to study with them right now? What spiritual struggles are they currently facing that I can help them overcome? You see, these verses in Philippians 2 are powerful verses. They are great verses that will protect our marriages.

Because living in a selfish and further and self-centered world, they challenge us to be different. They challenge us to live different. They challenge us to do right by our spouse. They challenge us to serve our spouse, to be humble towards our spouse, to esteem them, to be active and doing for them, be active and putting their needs first. Be active in saying things that will lift them up and encourage them. Be active in making deposits in their love banks. Be active and sacrifice for them and showing them every single day, you matter to me. You matter to me. Philippians 2 verses 3 through 5 are great verses that will guard, protect, and secure our marriages. But let’s now go to the Old Testament. Let’s put some Proverbs in here.

3. Always Keep Romance in Marriage

And I want to invite you to go into your Bible to Proverbs chapter 5. Go to your Bible, please to Proverbs chapter 5 and verse 15. Here are some verses that I think we need to really consider this morning when it comes to this subject. And it’s in Proverbs chapter 5 and in verse number 15. Here, Solomon, as he’s speaking to his son. Solomon is speaking to his son about marriage. And this is what he says in Proverbs chapter 5 and verse 15. He says, drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice and the wife of your youth, as a loving hind and a graceful dove, let her breast satisfy you at all times.

Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? Ponder on those verses for just a couple of seconds. Let me ask you something. How did you feel inside when you heard me read those verses? How did those verses make you feel? As I read those verses to you just now, did you feel uncomfortable? Did you blush? Did you kind of wiggle and squirm there in the pew? Did you maybe think to yourself, I can’t believe this preacher just read those verses from the pulpit. Did you think that kind of stuff? I hope not. I hope that you’re not feeling and thinking those kinds of things right now because these verses are found in the Bible.

They’re found in the Word of God. In fact, they are important verses for marriage because you know what they do? They talk about the constant need for romance. Oh, yes, these verses talk about romance. And I know for us men, especially, we don’t like talking about romance. We don’t like that. We don’t like talking about romance. We don’t like to talk about the need to have romance because we want to be macho. We want to be tough. We don’t want to talk about that stuff. And then if we got a problem with that, you got to take that up with God, not with me. You gotta take that up with the Holy Spirit. Because the Holy Spirit here is talking about romance. In fact, that is exactly what Solomon means through inspiration when he talks about cistern and water and things like that.

You see, when Solomon mentions drinking water from your own sister and fresh water from your own well, he’s not talking about a literal well. He’s not talking about literal water and a literal well. Instead, he’s using poetic figurative language to tell his son to be sexually intimate with your wife and only your wife. Be in love with your wife. Go to bed with your wife and only your wife. Don’t ever stop being romantic with your wife. Always keep the sexual dimensions and your relationship with your wife high and active and strong. What the Bible is saying here is designed to help us fight off temptation and adultery. You gotta keep romance in the marriage because when you do, the Bible says you fight off temptation. You fight off immorality, you fight off adultery.

That’s what the Bible says. And I believe the Bible.

I should still be in love with my wife. I should still be getting excited about my wife. My heart should still be fluttering over my wife. I should still be kissing my wife and hugging my wife. And it doesn’t matter what my daughter faith has to say about it. She thinks that’s gross, but she got to get over that.

I should be kissing my wife and hugging my wife. In fact, look at what Peter says here. In 1 Peter chapter 3, verse 7, Peter says, You husbands in the same way. Live with your wives in an understanding way. How do I do that? How do I do that? How do I live with my wife in an understanding way? Well, I believe that part of dealing with my wife and living with my wife in an understanding way means that I need to know what says I love you to her. I need to know that. Now, my wife’s not here today. She’s in Louisville, Kentucky. So don’t tell her I said this, okay? We need to erase this tape, Tony, later. We need to erase this. But part of saying I love you to my wife, in the case of my wife, nothing says I love you to her more than letting her go crazy on Amazon.

Or giving her a long hug after she gets home from work. Or taking her out on Valentine’s Day. Or on her birthday, or on our anniversary. You see, that kind of stuff is the love language of my wife, but your spouse may have different love language. Your spouse may have different things that makes them feel special. And if they consider to be romantic, our spouse is not going to be all the same when it comes to this. But the point is, we need to know this. We need to know what says, You’re special. And I love you to our spouse, and we need to do it. We need to keep the romance high in our marriages because when we do, the devil is going to be frustrated.

4. Husbands Love Your Wives Just as Christ Loved the Church

The devil is going to struggle. The devil is going to have a hard time infiltrating our marriages. Proverbs chapter 5 teaches us that we gotta always keep romance in marriages. No matter how long we’re married, we gotta keep the romance there because it fights off the devil. It fights off temptation, it fights off adultery. But let me give you one more section of scripture, and it’s found in Ephesians 5. We can’t talk about marriage without going to Ephesians 5. And so this is the last place I want to take you, and you’ve listened so well. And I’m going to Ephesians chapter 5 and looking at verse 22. In Ephesians chapter 5, and in verse number 22, Paul hears talking to married people. And this is what he has to say.

He says, Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, also the wives ought to be to their husbands and everything. Verse 25. Husbands love your wives just as. Notice, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her. I want to highlight that language in verse number 25, just as. Do you see that language there? Just as that language is found three times in the book of Ephesians. It’s first found in Ephesians 4 and verse 32, where Paul says, We are to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

It’s also found in Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 2. In Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 2, Paul says, and walk in love just as Christ also loved you and gave himself up for you. And then going back to Ephesians 5 and verse 25, husbands love your wives just as Christ also love the church. Do you see that language all throughout the book of Ephesians? Paul uses it over and over again. And that’s very powerful to me because you know what it shows me? It shows me that God never commands us to do anything that Jesus didn’t do first. God commands us to worship, right? That’s why we’re here. God commands us to worship him. Well, in the gospels, we find Jesus worshiping God. And God requires us to pray for our enemies.

And to bless our enemies. And in the gospels, we find Jesus praying for his enemies, blessing his enemies. And God requires that we forgive and we serve and we sacrifice and we overcome temptation and that we be patient and kind towards one another. And throughout the gospel, we find Jesus doing all those things. God never requires us to do anything that Jesus didn’t do first. And this is true, even when it comes to marriage.

While he did not have a physical wife, the Bible makes it very clear that he does have a spiritual wife. He does have a spiritual bride, and that’s the church. The church is the spiritual bride of Christ, and we husbands are to love our wives just like Jesus loves his bride.

We are to lead our brides just like Jesus leads his bride. We are to be real and genuine disciples who are striving to be just like Jesus. You see, when I strive to be like Jesus, you know what’s going to happen? That’s going to guard my marriage. That’s going to protect my marriage. That’s going to protect my marriage because that’s going to put Jesus at the center of my marriage. That’s going to give him the ultimate influence and the ultimate say and how I behave in my marriage. That’s going to constantly help me draw closer to God, and it’s going to help my spouse do the same. It’s going to help me accomplish the main goal of marriage. And that is to help my spouse go to heaven.

Help my spouse be saved. Help my spouse become more like Jesus. You see, while I cannot control my spouse’s actions and what they choose to do. While I cannot force my spouse to love God and serve God and be committed to God, while I cannot demand and press my spouse into faithful service to God, what I can do is influence them to do those things.

Conclusion

I can’t imitate or model those things before them by being like Jesus and in the process impact our relationship in the most powerful way. I can do those things. As a follower of Jesus. And so here they are. Here they are. Here are four of many sections of scripture that can help protect our marriages. They can guard our marriages. They can help strengthen and solidify them and keep the devil out. These sections of scripture can bless our marriages today and in the future. And I realize, I realize that not everybody who is listening right now is married. I realize that.

Some people who are not married for various reasons. And I want you to know something. For those of you who are not married, I want you to know that you not being married doesn’t mean that you’re a second class kingdom citizen. It does not mean that. It does not mean you’re not important. It does not mean you’re not valuable. It does not mean that you are equally a child of God if you have been baptized into Christ. It doesn’t mean that at all. You see, you don’t have to get married in order to go to heaven, but you do have to serve Jesus if you’re going to go to heaven.

And so this morning, maybe there’s somebody here who needs to make that decision for the first time. Maybe there’s someone here that you, for the first time in your life, you need to obey the gospel. You need to become part of the church or the bride of Christ. You can do that this morning by having faith in Jesus and repenting of your sins and confessing Him as the Lord and then being baptized in water for the forgiveness of your sins. If you will do those things, you this morning will become part of the bride of Christ. Or if you have done those things, but you haven’t been living faithful to Jesus. If you need to repent and have us pray with you and pray for you, we’ll be more than happy to do that.

Whatever we have to do to help you go to heaven, we’re here to help you. We’re going to ask you to come to the front right now and respond to this invitation song as we stand and we sing.