When Life Isn’t Fair

Introduction

Good morning. Proverbs chapter 26, verse 11 says, like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly. Ken. He talked about Star Wars again. Like a dog that returns to his vomit, a fool who repeats his folly. Now we’ve all kind of been there in various times in various ways. The question then is, what do you do if you’re around such a fool? And this morning I gotta tell you, I feel you. Sometimes you work with someone and it feels like life isn’t fair, right, Ken? In John chapter 21, Peter has this problem. Peter has a problem, probably not as big as my problem, but it’s a problem. In John chapter 21, Jesus tells Peter, You have a mission. You have sacrifices standing before you in my service.

And he tells Peter that the cost of that sacrifice will be extreme. In fact, in John chapter 21 and verse 15, when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these? He said to him, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you. And he said, Feed my lambs. He said to him a second time, Simon, son of John, do you love me? And he said to him, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you. So he said to him, Tend my sheep. He said to him the third time, Simon, son of John, do you love me? Now Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, Do you love me? And he said, Lord, you know everything.

You know that I love you. Jesus said to him, Feed my sheep. Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go. Now this he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God. And after saying this, he said to him, Follow me. It’s interesting because we all face different discussions of what is expected of me. Now, Peter, being a direct disciple and apostle of Jesus the Christ, faced a unique sacrifice. When you look at the last couple verses that we read, it wasn’t just that Peter was going to have to love Jesus.

It wasn’t just that he was going to care for his sheep, although there’s much to unpack in that section. It was that what was the cost of Peter’s lifestyle of sacrifice going to be. And verse 18, the utmost price. Wherever you are old, you will stretch out your hands. Another will dress you, and will carry you where you do not want to go. The translation is that Peter was going to be taken captive and killed. We might think of the term martyred, but Peter is understanding what Jesus was describing was likely, if not assuredly, crucifixion. And this isn’t the part that Peter really had a problem with. Notice he doesn’t neglect that part. Now Jesus is saying, Peter, do you love me? And Peter’s saying, Yes, do you love me?

Yes, Peter, do you love me? Yes, Lord, you know that I love you. You see, it’s not a question of what we say or even what we’re going to do. Peter’s problem wasn’t that Jesus gave him a mission. Peter’s problem was that Jesus didn’t give everybody else the same mission. And I think if we’re honest, we sometimes have that problem too. We look around and we see a world that doesn’t seem equal. And here’s the bad news for that. The Bible never claims that everything will be equal. We will all stand before the judgment seat of God. God knows the hearts of all. But we are all called to different priorities. Very simply, to explain this, you simply say, if you’re a husband, you’re not expected to be a wife.

If you’re a mother, you’re not expected to be a father. If you’re a child, you’re not expected to be a father or a mother. If you’re a brother, you’re not expected to be a sister, and the list goes on. But as we examine this text, I want to note not what Jesus tells Peter, but Peter’s response. Notice in verse 20, Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them. The one who had also leaned back against him during the supper and had said, Lord, who is it that is going to betray you? John, writing of John. When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, Lord, what about this man? And in case you have any doubt that there was something behind it, Jesus said to him, If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?

You follow me.

One of them is that he was given a direct purpose. Did Peter have any doubt what Jesus wanted him to do? Well, maybe he misunderstood, but there was no lack of clarity on Jesus’ part. He expected him to do what? To take care of his sheep. He expected him to love in all the elements and all the fullest, richest definition of love you can have for not only Jesus, but what that means for his followers. Peter was going to be a bedrock apostle. Not surprisingly, many days after in Acts chapter 2, it was Peter whose sermon we have recorded on the day of Pentecost. It was Peter who was asked by the Jews, what shall we do? And it was Peter who said, Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.

Peter was going to be important, instrumental. In fact, in Acts chapter 10, it was Peter yet again, who would not only announce the opening of the kingdom to the Jews in Acts 2, but the opening of the kingdom to the Gentiles in Cornelius in Acts chapter 10. But Peter doesn’t seem to have a problem with this other than saying, Jesus, why do you keep asking me if I love you? You know that I do. Because just like with us, Peter was given a very direct message. Peter, here is what you do. Now it’s up to you to go and do so. And if you do, the cost will be severe. But notice Peter has a problem. He turns and he sees the disciple whom Jesus loves.

He sees John and he says, now wait a minute. I know I’m an apostle. I understand I have an important work. But John’s an apostle too. Jesus, what about John? Is he going to die? Is he, as verse 18 says, going to have his hands stretched out when he is old? Is he going to be dragged away to his death, not being in control of the circumstances? What about John? And Jesus, again, if you read with me in verse 22, if it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me. You know, Jesus essentially gives two answers, and that’s going to be the focus of our lesson this morning. He says, first of all, what is it to you what I do with John?

Even if my will was unfair in your eyes, Peter, even if you didn’t agree with me, even if you think I’m wrong or mistreating you. Does that change anything about your mission? What is that to you? Secondly, upon the basis of Jesus getting to set his will however he sees fit in accordance with God’s, he says, You follow me. If Peter can be pulled away, though, by the thought of what another apostle or close disciple of Jesus is going to do, what he’s going to live like, how he’s going to be called into service, what his ultimate end would be. I have to be honest and say, you know what, this might happen to me too. And so I better remain focused, the way Jesus tells Peter to remain focused.

Notice in verse 23, so the saying spread among the brothers that this disciple was not to die. But Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die, but if it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? So Jesus isn’t telling, hey Peter, by the way, John’s gonna live until my second coming. You’re gonna die a gruesome crucified death. And John’s gonna be fine. But the apostles took it that way. And I said, now wait a minute, John’s not going to die, and can’t you just hear it right now? That’s not fair. That’s not right. How is that possible? Peter’s saying, you have a specific job for me. You’re asking if I love you. You know that I love you.

I will die for you. That’s not Peter’s problem either. Peter’s problem is John. And can I examine that? This is one of the worst temptations the devil throws at us. Peter is one of the best servants of Christ. Jesus says, You have to die for me, and Peter doesn’t flinch, does he? But he looks at John. Jesus says, You need to love me. You’re going to die for me. Nothing. But John may not have to die. Well, wait a minute. That’s not fair. What am I to make of this? I think if we examine what the devil does with us, is sometimes he says, okay, maybe if you’re one of the strongest Christians I know, if your faith is so strong that it can’t be torn away from God, I’m going to move your focus on someone even on your side.

Perhaps no one was closer in kinsmanship and on the same team than John and Peter were. They were close disciples of Jesus. They had followed him around. They had seen the crucifixion. They had all fled, but they had come back. Here is the resurrected Jesus with the nail scars in his hand. And we look at Peter and we go, silly Peter, how can you not get over what John’s doing? Don’t even bring it up. Just worry about you. Because you know what the problem is when you bring up some sort of inequity, injustice, or problem with the way somebody else lives, and someone looks at you and says, Hey, don’t worry about it. You do what you need to do. You know how you feel in response to that?

1. Embrace Your Unique Path

Well, you just don’t understand. Well, you don’t know. You don’t get it. You don’t know what it’s like. No, no, no. Jesus says, What is that to you, even if I did will that he never die? You follow me. And so as we examine the lesson this morning, the applications are very clear. When life isn’t fair, when there is some sort of health problem weighing you down, maybe not weighing you down, a health problem afflicting the one you love most. Arguably more painful than facing it yourself. When you are facing some sort of discouragement, inequity, unjust behavior. And you look around and you say, This isn’t right. Why isn’t God intervening? Why doesn’t he care? Why isn’t he doing anything? Remember a few examples. One of them is embrace your unique path.

When life isn’t fair, try to realize what is Jesus’ mission for you. And if you’re facing struggles, that’s a little bit different than telling Peter, hey, I want you to go and be my servant. If Jesus said, hey, go be my servant, we’d all say, okay. But notice Peter was going to die and be crucified. Notice in 2 Corinthians chapter 1, I might not be called to crucifixion, but I am called to do something even with struggles. Why isn’t life fair, by the way, always because someone’s not struggling the way we are.

I’m doing so much better than they are. That’s not right. I don’t know too many people’s faith who have fallen off a map because they’re doing so well and somebody else isn’t. It’s always an inequity of justice to the one we love, whether it’s self or someone else. But notice in verse 3, if you’re struggling, if you are feeling the weight of life being unfair and coming for you, Jesus says, here’s how you follow me through Paul. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with we ourselves are comforted by God.

For we share abundantly in Christ’s suffering, so through Christ, we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation. And if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken. For we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. You know what’s interesting? Paul doesn’t say, hey, when you have a really hard time, get over it. And he doesn’t even stop and say, let God take care of you, although he does. If you look at the first few verses, God will comfort you. God will take care of you. The afflictions are momentary. God provides true and lasting peace.

God provides the way of salvation through the sacrifice Jesus. But notice what else we do. What do you do when you have gone through sufferings? When you’ve been comforted, what does Paul say you must do? You share how you’ve been comforted with others. Why don’t we all have the same journey? Whether or not we had an answer to that first question, Jesus says, You follow me. But one reason, perhaps we have a different journey, one reason Peter wouldn’t live the same way John did, and John wouldn’t live the same way that James did, is because we all have to do and interact with those who we know best.

But you know them. You work with them. You might be related to some of them. And you might be able to reach them in a way I can’t. But maybe I’m suffering in a way seemingly no one else is. Because when I’ve been struck down with some sort of affliction or problem, when I’m trying to overcome something desperately trying to keep me down, it is me and perhaps me alone, who by the power of God needs to reach out to somebody else suffering in the same way. You know what we often say when someone, when we vent our problems to someone, we say, you don’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like. And while that in and of itself is not a disqualifier, we treat it like it is.

But if I’ve been through suffering, if I have faced the struggle, if I have lost the loved one that you have, I can connect with you. I can show you how God wants you to be comforted and loved. So when life is unfair, don’t look at it as some sort of, oh, poor me. Look at it as an opportunity to say, who else is hurting the way I’m hurting? Because I felt alone and now nobody else has to be because I’ve been through it by the grace of God. Because God cared for me and put a family around me, I’m going to make sure I’m a family around those two. You know, those who care most for certain subject matters are those who are either good at it or really bad at it.

You think about one of the number one fears always is public speaking. And from time to time, someone will mention to a public speaker, they’ll say, Well, you did a good job. And one of the things I’ve noticed about when someone looks at a public speaker is they’re usually the one who compliments them the most afraid of doing it themselves. And likewise the public speaker values another trait in somebody else and says, I could never do that. When we think about our suffering, when we think about why I am called to a unique path and journey, I have to stop and analyze not what I don’t have, but what have I been given. And even in the face of the worst diseases, of the most unjust treatment, I have been given an opportunity by God to share my struggle with somebody else who feels alone.

Peter was going to be crucified, led away, alone, and put to death. But no one could tell Peter as he faced constant flogging, mockings, and beatings, that you don’t understand what it’s like. You don’t know what it’s like to leave your family to stand up for Jesus. You don’t know what I’m giving up. Paul, Peter, James, John, they knew what it was like because they had paid the price and were willing to face any struggle. When we look at verse 5, we see as we share abundantly in Christ’s suffering, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. It’s not only for others’ comfort, it’s for our own. Jesus is there. If we are afflicted, why is it happening? What is it for? If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and your salvation.

If we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Peter, Paul, James, John, all of Jesus’ followers say, hang in there and use God’s plan for you. One of the tough parts of this message, though, indicates something startling. There is suffering for those who follow after the one most mistreated, who suffered the most. If Jesus was persecuted, if the fathers of Israel, the prophets, were persecuting those who were speaking God’s word in the Old Testament, the Son of God is put to death on the cross, Peter was put to death on the cross. Why would I expect that standing up and standing out would not lead to any sort of persecution or backlash? When I face disease, when I face inequities, why would I expect that my life would be perfect?

2. Don’t Be Preoccupied With Others

God has never promised that. God has promised comfort for those who are in trial and reach out to Him. He has promised comfort for those who reach out and take care of others. Because that is God’s plan. And so when I look at my unique path in life, and I say, you know what? This isn’t fair, maybe the answer is no, it’s not fair. But what are you going to do about it? Paul says, use it to your advantage. Use it to others’ advantage. And praise God that he’s there to take care of you and all who ask him for comfort. And praise God for grace and mercy, knowing that this doesn’t have to last. The second idea, of course, is don’t be preoccupied with others.

When Jesus answers Peter, his real answer is, you don’t worry about John. He even says, even if I wanted John to never die and you be crucified, what’s it to you? And this is the uncomfortable truth. If someone came up to me and was looking for some nice, kind guidance and said, you know, I’m really struggling here. I don’t think it’s fair. I’m really facing some hard times, and I said, get over it. They’d say, well, Ken already told me that. Why am I talking to you for?

That wouldn’t come across nicely. It wouldn’t feel good. But it’s the truth. The truth should be delivered with kindness and gentleness, no doubt. 2 Timothy makes that clear. We should be looking out to comfort others. That involves and includes a kind and gentle spirit. But the blunt, bold truth, since nobody stood up to me and in this room has said, hey, I’m struggling, is what other people face doesn’t affect my service to Jesus. Can I reach out through my unique opportunities to others? Yes. Does this disqualify when Paul says, bear one another’s burdens? Of course not. But what Jesus is telling Peter is, it doesn’t matter what I do with John. Peter, I need you. I need you in my service. I need you to see you have a mission.

And if I say you have a mission as Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, you do it. And we hate talk like that in 21st century America. How dare you tell me I have to do something different than someone else? How dare you tell me what I have to do at all? Jesus says, you worry about what I’ve told you to do. Does that encompass loving one another? Yes, Peter would be one of the ones in the closest attendance of Jesus when he said, You love others the way I have loved you, sacrificing myself. Peter would be one of the ones who was told, Go and proclaim the gospel to every creature that he who believes and is baptized will be saved. Jesus incorporated a love for others into his mission.

He did not incorporate jealousy, bitterness, and comparison. It’s long been said comparison is a thief of joy. And Jesus tells us through Peter’s example and his rebuke of him, it can rob us of peace, joy, and our righteous attitude towards God. Think about that again. We emphasize if this can happen to Peter, it can happen to me. Peter is being told by Jesus, I have a special specific mission for you. We would say, Yes, that’s great. If we understood what it meant, we’d say, Great, I’m glad you told me exactly what you needed from me, Jesus. I am there for you. But then he sees John. And he says, now wait a minute. And here’s the kicker of the John 21 story. Turn back there with me.

I want you to notice the order this happens. In verse 20, after he’s told he will die. In verse 20, Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them. And then he says, What about this man? Peter heard. He accepted. But when was the problem? When Peter saw John. This is a faith problem. When you compare it with Matthew chapter 14, where Peter is walking on water, he’s the only disciple who braved to get out into the water and to walk to Jesus, who was in the distance. They were terrified of what was happening. They thought Jesus was a ghost, but Peter said, Lord, if you are willing, allow me to walk to you. And he trusted in Jesus. So he got out of the boat, and as he was walking on water, what happened to Peter’s vision and faith?

When the winds came and the storms came, he looked down. He took his eyes off of Jesus. And he sank. Other people are a distraction when I allow them to cause me feelings of jealousy, bitterness, and general comparison. Peter was the strong apostle, the one who said, Jesus is the Christ, the one who would preach in Acts 2, teach in Acts 10. Yes, he made mistakes, but he was Peter. And so when Paul says in Ephesians chapter 4, what he does, we must take it to heart. Look there with me in Ephesians chapter 4, beginning in verse 31. Ephesians 4, verse 31, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God and Christ forgave you.

Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children and walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. You know what Jesus says the opposite of bitterness, slander, malice, and wrath is? Love. In John 20, what was Peter told? John 21, what was Peter told his mission was, you, do you love me? You feed my sheep. You should love me. In loving Jesus, then it’s not just don’t look at other people. We could be blunt, we could be rude, we could be kind, we could be gentle. You could say, don’t worry about others. But part of the message of the gospel is you do care about others. You elevate them. You look at others and don’t pull yourself down.

You say, How can I help them? How can I be of service? That’s the link. If you’re going to be preoccupied with others, make it making them better. But if you can’t quite get there yet, don’t let bitterness grab you. Verse 31, don’t let wrath tear you apart. Don’t slander others. You see, all these things tear people and ourselves down. And Jesus says, part of the walk is lifting others up. It’s an attitude adjustment Peter had to have. And Jesus said the first lesson is you don’t worry about it. The second lesson is you do the right thing anyway. And unlike John, who seems to be a relatively innocent bystander in all this, you may be working with somebody who is absolutely out to get you.

You may have somebody in your mind this morning who is benefiting from cheating, lying, stealing. You may think it’s unfair and it might be unfair. You might think it’s mean or callous and it might be.

Because for generations they had violated his will. And who alone can make that judgment? God. If you are feeling like life’s not fair because somebody’s out to get you, know that vengeance is mine. I will repay, says the Lord. It doesn’t matter if life’s not fair. You worry about your walk with Jesus. That doesn’t mean get in a cubby hole. That doesn’t mean ignore everything else. It means you serve God with every tool you’ve been given. If the devil throws you a temptation, use it to your advantage. If he gives you a disease, use it to your advantage. If he takes away a family member, you refocus your life and thank God for the time you had with them. Focus on what you do have and stop looking at what we don’t.

Conclusion

It’ll change our life. When life isn’t fair, Jesus said, What is it to you? You follow me. So the conclusion, of course, is we must serve love and trust in Jesus. As we wrap up, I want to speak through the parable of the talents. And think for a moment, you had the five-talent man, the two-talent man and the one-talent man, of course, these are instruments of money, not some sort of abilities. And as you think about the five-talent man, what was he able to produce as the master came back? Five more talents. And he was told, good and faithful servant. He was commended. The two-talent man produced two talents, and what was he told? Good and faithful servant. The one talent man hid his and came back with one.

He was told wicked and lazy slave. But I want to stop for a moment and say, wait a minute, that’s not fair, is it? The man with five talents did more than twice the work the man with two talents did. The percentage of increase was the same, but he gave him with five. The other man only produced two. And what did the master say? The same words of commendation to both. Because God knows who you are, what you’re facing, and what he expects of you. Jesus knew who Peter was. Peter knew what Jesus expected of him. But he was distracted because he saw John and he couldn’t let it go. Even if life is unfair. Even if Jesus, as Jesus says of John, he never dies.

Even if he’s going to make it past the destruction of Jerusalem. You follow me. This is a mindset change. Because it says, I care only about what Jesus says. Nothing more and nothing less. When life isn’t fair, I have to remember God’s given me a lot that’s not fair. We’ll start with what’s not fair. Jesus being crucified on the cross at the hands of lawless men. What’s not fair is that nails were driven through his hands, that he was whipped, spat upon, mocked, beaten, carried his cross, and died. And he died because of my sin. He died because some in this room have struggled with sins of comparison, jealousy, bitterness. Because of me and because of you, Jesus had nails through his hands. That’s not fair.

But God’s plan has never been about fair. It’s been about righteousness. It’s been about restoring a proper relationship with God. That means first and foremost, I need that sacrifice. I have to share in the only way that I can be reconciled to my God with, and that is by believing in Jesus as the Christ. Repenting of my sins, my jealousy, my bitterness, my anger, my wrath, my slander, confessing Jesus as Lord and all that that entails, and sharing in the baptism and the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. Then I can walk in newness of life, and then I commit my life to God no matter what’s on my left, what’s on my right, I will follow after my Lord. Maybe I’ve been a Christian and fallen away.

I’ve been too distracted by the winds, the waves, and the people on my left and right. Know that God cares for you still. We will pray with you. We’ll pray for you. If you have any needs at all, come forward now as we stand and sing the invitation song.