With Her- Adam’s Failure

Introduction

Good evening, everyone. Open your Bible with me, please, to Genesis chapter 3. We’ll be in Genesis chapter 3 almost the entire time this evening. You’ll be helped if you can look at the text of Scripture as we’re working together in the Bible tonight. Genesis chapter 3, and as you are turning there, I would sure say that I am very glad to see you this evening. I hope that you had half as good a day as I had today, because I had a wonderful day. Lots of this good Florida sunshine. That’s what I was hoping for. Yesterday it was more of the liquid variety. So it was good to see real Florida sunshine today. Had a great day, a wonderful lunch with Brother Jim and his wife Penny, and got to spend some time studying the Word of God, Brother Bob.

That just works out very well. And I must tell you this. I ate with Sister Harkrider this evening, and she did serve pie. And Bob, if preaching doesn’t work out for you, think about a cafe. I think that could be really, really good. You know, I was in a meeting one time, and on Sunday, I had lunch with a family, and she served potato salad, and it was very, very good. And that evening, I bragged on that dear sister’s potato salad, and that was a terrible mistake. I ate potato salad every night that week, as all the other sisters attempted to show that they made better potato salad than the sister did on Sunday. And so I was thinking about whether or not I was going to tell that story, and I have decided I’m okay with eating pie the rest of the week.

That’ll be all right. Let’s spend a moment or two in the Word of God together. Let’s try Genesis chapter 3. I’m going to begin reading in verse number one. Some of the folks have asked. I read from the ESV, the English Standard Version. I prefer a literal translation, and I think it’s a good thing that we have several good Bibles to choose from today, good Bible translations to choose from. I think the ESV is one of those, and I’m going to read from it this evening, beginning in Genesis chapter 3 and verse 1. Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, Did God actually say, You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?

And the woman said to the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it lest you die. But the serpent said to the woman, You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight unto the eyes, and that the tree was desired to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. And she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.

You know, sometimes there’s little phrases that we use that mean an awful lot. When someone says, Look out, that’s not a long sentence. It’s an important sentence. An important sentence you want to pay attention to. When someone says, I do, that’s not a long sentence. But when they’re standing up in front of a preacher, and their beloved is standing across from them holding their hand, that sentence is a game changer, isn’t it? And when I ask somebody who’s come forward weeping, so sorry for their sins, and I asked them to stand, and I say, Do you believe Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God? And they say, Yes, so that they can be baptized into Him to wash away their sins. That one word changes eternity.

Little phrases that mean a lot. Like that phrase at the end of verse 6, where it says that Adam was with her. Men, I want all of you, if you write in your Bible to underline that expression, it is enormously important. Because it tells us that while the serpent was talking to Eve, and all that was going on, and temptation was occurring, that Adam was where? He was standing right there watching what was happening. I don’t want to believe that. I want to believe that Adam had taken the dog and was gone hunting. And that as he came back from hunting, he happened upon his wife, and there she was talking to this snake, and he saw that there was a bite out of this fruit, and Adam was saying, What’s going on here?

And what have you done? But that expression, with her, crushes that hope, doesn’t it? In fact, while the serpent directly is speaking to Eve, of that there is no doubt, you should know that in the text here, if you’ll look carefully at verse 1, he said to the woman, did God actually say, you? Do you see the term you there? That is a plural you. That is the term that we use in the South so frequently, which is y’all. Now, I’m not sure that’s a direct Hebrew translation, but in the Mark Roberts International East Texas Version, that’s exactly what it says. Does God said to y’all that y’all should need of this tree? Because Adam was standing beside his wife. And I want us to think this evening about what that means.

What the implications are for our homes when we fail in the way that Adam failed. Because what we’re talking about here is leadership. If you think, men, about what God wants from men, when you take the whole of Scripture and look at all that is said, I think well within that one term, leadership is the description of what God is expecting of every man to step forward and lead. And without question, if we’re going to build strong homes, we’ll have to have strong leaders in those homes. In fact, the home will only be as strong as the leadership in that home. That’s why this evening I want us to think a little bit about what exactly happened here in Genesis chapter 3, beginning in verse 1 and ending tragically in verse 6.

Because while we’ve all heard of leadership failures of various kinds, maybe a CEO who doesn’t keep up with the times, he lets his company run down. Oh, a website. Who needs that? That’s a passing pad. And the next thing you know, the company’s going into bankruptcy and people are losing their jobs. Or maybe we’ve heard of a leadership failure on the battlefield where an officer wasn’t paying attention to changing conditions and suddenly men are pinned down and lives are lost. I am saying to you this evening, there has never been a leadership failure of the magnitude of Genesis chapter 3. Think of how different the world could be if Adam had simply stepped in and said, Now listen, that’s not right. Move along, Mr. Fork Ton, and I’ll be mentioning this conversation to Father when we talk with him this evening.

Our world could be a very different place. But what we see in chapter 3, especially in verse 6 in that expression with her, is that Adam passively watched while temptation happened, and his wife fell into it, and then he likewise participated with her in this terrible sin. He was everything that leaders are not. He failed to lead his home. I want to talk very directly, men, right to you, as we think a little bit about Brother Josh White. Something’s happening exciting here. We need to think a little bit here. Nothing is happening. Do more. There we go. These Apple computers. So expensive and so prone to problems. Let’s see here if we can focus for a little bit on Genesis chapter 3 and see if we can’t make some sense out of what’s going on here so that you and I can reject Adam’s miserable example and step forward to be what God would have us to be in our homes.

1. Being Alert to Spiritual Danger

I want to show you three areas where Adam completely failed. Three things that he lacked that would have made the difference in Genesis chapter 3. That begins by talking a little bit here about alertness. Let’s talk about being alert. Several years ago, my wife and I were in a store. There were some purse values there, some purses on sale. She was very interested in that. And we were in this store, and it was kind of on the bad side of town, a CD area. And while Dina was shopping, two very rough looking young men came in who seemed to be up to no good at all, and who I seriously thought they may rob this place. And I got my wife and I got her out of there.

And we got in the car, and Dina said, Why’d you rush me out of there? And I said, I think those guys might rob the place. And she said, What guys are you talking about? She hadn’t even seen those guys. Wasn’t paying attention to that at all. I was telling another fellow about that story, and he just left. He said, I can top that. He and his wife were in a store. She was shopping away for something, and there was a snake in the store, and the police were called, and they captured the snake and carried it out, and his wife never saw or heard anything. Now, some of the ladies right now are very offended that I would act like a woman is not fully alert.

But of course, some of the women are thinking, what store was that where Dina was getting those purses, and that just makes my point for me. But you see, as a man, that’s just unthinkable. As a man, that’s unthinkable. We are on the alert. We are watching for trouble and danger all the time. Even as a single man, you’re looking around all the time to see what could develop here, what could go wrong, and how could we get out of that problem, or how can I defeat that problem? And then once you get married and you have a wife, that just doubles or quadruples, and you get some kids on the ground. Now it’s just times infinity. You’re always paying attention. Leaders look for trouble before it starts.

Leaders are paying attention to what goes on around them all the time so that if something breaks out that’s wrong, they can get that situation under control.

What about Adam here? Where is alertness here? Where is sensitivity to the worst kind of danger? Spiritual danger. You know, when I preach from Genesis chapter 3, there’s always somebody who wants to talk to me afterwards about talking snakes. And did the snake go upright before the curse and all of that kind of business? And I realize we have some curiosity about all of that, but I’m a whole lot more interested in what the snake said. Do you trace out with me? Would you trace out with me the temptation as it begins to develop? Notice there in verse 1, did God actually say? Do you see how just the question casts doubt upon the Lord? And like so many temptations that the devil offers, the beginning of that is to say, just how good is God really?

I don’t think he’s treating you the way you really deserve. Do you realize he might be holding out on you and keeping you from something that would really be fun and really be good? Is if that’s not enough, as if questioning whether God’s way is best, then we get along a little bit further, and what’s the next thing that we get? Verse 4, you will not surely die. That’s an outright lie. All of this presented. To say to Adam and Eve, you folks probably know what’s best. Why don’t you decide about this tree? Why don’t you do what you want to do? Don’t let anybody impose external standards upon you. Where’s Adam in this conversation? Not one word. Everything the snake says is tinted with arrogance and rebellion and even blasphemy.

When his wife replies in verse 3, we shall not eat of the fruit of the tree. Then she says, Neither touch it. That’s not part of God’s prohibition, is it? She is adding to the word of God. Adam never says a word. Why doesn’t he? Why doesn’t he say? Now listen, don’t talk about God that way. Look at what he has provided for us. You’re not selling that here. Move along. Why didn’t he stop his wife? Now, dear. The Lord has not forbidden us to touch it. Now you’re making God seem more over-prohibitive than the Lord really is. Let’s not focus on the one prohibition. Let’s think about all that God has done for us. In truth, Adam could have helped everybody out a whole lot if about the time verse 5 and 6 started to get going, if Adam had said to Eve, I’ve solved this problem, hand me that big rock right there.

But Adam never does any of those things, does he? He is asleep at the wheel, not looking for danger, not warning his family about temptation, not intervening, not putting himself between danger and his wife. Men. This is where leadership gets tested. Preacher gets up and says, Men are to leave. Man, we like that. And we ought to like that. We are made for that role. But you realize that leadership is not a title to pin upon your chest. Leadership is a work, it is a job. And the first part of that job is what? Awareness of spiritual danger. What could threaten the very souls of your loved ones? You need to be on guard for that. So tell me, men. When’s the last time you checked your son’s internet browser history?

To see if perhaps filth is entering your house through his computer. Don’t tell me you don’t know how to check his internet history. You need to learn how so that you can be alert for danger. When your child says, we’re going to the movies. What’s that movie rated? And what’s that movie all about? Do you know? When your child says, we’re going to rent a DVD out of the red box. What DVD do they get? What’s on that DVD? What’s it saying? What’s it teaching? What’s in your what’s in your daughter’s closet? What kind of clothes does she wear? How does she present herself to the world? What about modesty? These are the questions, aren’t they? That test our leadership. Are we paying attention to what goes on?

2. Initiative: Leaders Step Forward

Or are we like Adam, absolutely asleep at the wheel? Do you know? Do you know your children’s friends? Do you know your wife’s greatest weakness? Do you know what tempts your children? Do you know what questions they have about God and his word that could undermine their faith if those questions are not answered? Someone says, sounds like Dad is kind of nosy, a busybody. No. Sounds like Dad is on the alert for spiritual danger so he can do what Adam did not protect his family. And as we think about that, it seems like somewhere in here we need to think a little bit about initiative. About initiative. What do you do when you see danger coming? If Adam did recognize the trouble at hand there, there’s a terrible disconnect then because he didn’t do anything about it.

And let’s be certain, Adam’s temptation here is very different than Eve’s. Paul so says, if you look in 1 Timothy chapter 2, in 1 Timothy chapter 2, I’m reading there in verse 14. The apostle talks about this first temptation, this first sin, when he says the following in 1 Timothy chapter 2. Hold your place in Genesis, we’ll certainly come back, but in 1 Timothy chapter 2, there we read in verse 14, in verse 13, that Adam was formed first and then Eve. And Adam was not deceived. The woman, she was deceived. She became a transgressor. Adam wasn’t fooled. He knew what was going on. He knew that this was wrong. He understood this was a sin. And yet he didn’t do anything to stop it. How can that possibly be?

I think maybe the answer to that is found in the idea of peer pressure. Peer pressure is something that we’ve decided just applies to young people. That’s not the case at all. In fact, I recently read about a study done with college students. They’d get a college student and they’d put him in a room, and he’s studying away, and then they began to pump smoke into the room to see if this college student would notice and sound the alarm. Hey, the building’s on fire. And when they put one college student in the room and added the smoke and so forth, more than 75% of the time, the student would quickly get up and say, Hey, hey, is anybody know that our hang of building’s on fire?

Then they got three students. And they put them in the room together. And they started adding smoke to the room. What do you think happened? What happened was nobody did anything. More smoke. Nobody did anything. Why not? You know why not? Student begins to notice all this smoke. Smells like fire. Starts thinking, I need to sound the alarm. Then all of a sudden he realizes, hey, that guy and that guy, they’re not sounding the alarm. If I stand up and start yelling fire, I’m going to look like a fool. They’re okay. They seem to be cool. I’m just going to sit right here and mind my own business. But of course, what are the other two guys doing? They’re looking at this guy and this guy.

They’re thinking exactly the same thing. This guy’s looking at those two guys, and as a result, everybody’s sitting in the room, the researchers couldn’t believe it until it’s so thick with smoke, nobody could see each other, and nobody said anything. Look at Adam. He’s watching his wife, isn’t he? I know that he’s watching his wife because of what the text says. Look in Genesis chapter 3. Look down a little bit. When the Lord is talking about this, look at verse 17. In Genesis chapter 3 and in verse 17, there God says to Adam, Genesis 3 and 17, because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I’ve commanded you, you shall not eat of it. You see?

Adam listened to her. He took his cues from her and how she was handling it instead of taking initiative. You can see Adam standing there thinking, now this doesn’t feel right. I don’t like the way the serpent’s talking about God. That’s just not the but you know, Eve didn’t say anything about that. I don’t want to look alarmist or something. Maybe I’ll just listen a little bit long. Well, now that was a lie. Now that just wasn’t what the snake said there, that’s just not just not right. But Eve doesn’t seem to be bothered by that. I sure don’t want to jump out there and get all crazy, look like some kind of fanatic or something. Maybe I’ll just see what’s going to happen here, keep my mouth shut and play it cool.

Genesis 3 is helping us see. Leaders take initiative. Leaders do not keep their mouth shut and play it cool. Leaders step forward. They refuse to stand still while the situation deteriorates and gets worse by the moment. A godly leader never waits to see if everybody else or anybody else will do the right thing. He immediately steps up and says, We all need to do the right thing here. Think about Joshua and Caleb in the face of an entire nation, believing ten faithless men. They stepped off. Think about Daniel. You can’t pray. Really? Watch me. Think about Paul and Silas singing hymns in a dungeon at midnight. Think about Peter and John preaching to the Sanhedrin that was telling them, stop this preaching. These are men who stepped forward.

Men who stepped up in the moment of danger, who did what was right, who rose to the challenge and encouraged everybody around them to do exactly the same thing. Let’s tell the truth, men. All this equal rights business, that’s damaged us, hasn’t it? We’re afraid. We’re afraid that if we step up, somebody’s gonna say, What a chauvinist you are. We’re gonna be attacked, that somehow we’re not sensitive to feminist agendas and so forth. As a result, so many men standing around doing nothing. So many men sitting on their hands. We all know the right thing to do. The room is filling with smoke. Somebody stand up. Someone take initiative. That’s what Adam didn’t do here. And look at the price that has been paid. Everybody nods their head up and down about that.

Let’s just think about initiative in the home. How is it, men, that so often the spiritual education of children in our home, well, whose job is that? That’s women’s work. That’s women’s work. Women are to make sure kids are in Bible class and get their lesson books and get their quarterly and their memory verse and all of that filled out and so forth. Somehow that becomes a wife’s responsibility. Well, the man does exactly nothing about that. Really? Really? Let me just give you a name tag that says Adam on it, because that’s exactly the role he played. He did nothing. When we see our children beginning to make bad decisions. Just gonna hope that this bad crowd that our child’s now choosing to run with, oh, suddenly they’re all gonna straighten up, clean up, and do what’s right.

3. Taking Responsibility for What Went Wrong

Going to hope that a bad situation over time suddenly gets better? Or are we going to intervene, step in, start doing something to make changes? Leadership is about initiative. That’s exactly what Adam didn’t have you. And of course, as I say that, you realize. That means that I have to take personal initiative. I must pray. I must regularly read my Bible. I must practice spiritual disciplines. I must be serious in my pursuit of God. If I’m going to lead others to do that, I must take the initiative with myself first. That’s where passive Adam absolutely fails. Let me say one more thing about Genesis chapter 3 and what happened here with Adam. It seems to me that Adam failed because he was unwilling to take responsibility for what went wrong.

I need to direct you to a verse a little bit further in this story, verse 12, that reveals a gaping hole in Adam’s character. As you read along in Genesis 3, God, of course, knows what’s happened, and he comes to the garden to deal with that. That leads to a conversation between the Lord and Adam. And of course, the fact that the Lord talks to Adam, not Eve, tells you exactly who God holds responsible for this mess. He’s talking to the leader here, isn’t he? Unfortunately, Adam refuses to take responsibility for what happened in verse 12. The man said, the woman, the woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate. Instead of taking responsibility, he blames Eve and not very subtly blames the Lord himself.

Now, men, what do you do when you blow it? And all of us blow it. There’s only been one perfect man ever here. I’m not him, and you aren’t either. We all make mistakes. We all do things that are wrong. What’s going to be our attitude when that happens? We don’t want to admit that, and we don’t want somebody to point that out. And all too often men use that mask of machoness to try to cover up and hope that nobody noticed what happened. None of that is realistic. None of that is true. None of that is helpful, and none of that builds leadership in the home. God knows what’s happened there. And yes, our family knows what’s happened there. So what are you going to do?

Passive men do what Adam did here. They duck responsibility and blame others. You think about this marriage in Genesis chapter 3. Was it ever the same after this? Eve learned about her husband that day that rather than loving her in a sacrificial and serving kind of way, when things go wrong when the chips are down, he’d throw her under the bus. Instead of standing up for her, he blamed her. What kind of leadership dynamic now does he have in this marriage? On top of that, not only did he blame Eve, verse 12 says, the woman whom you gave to be with me. Adam took a swipe at God. This is kind of your fault, Lord. Just as people today say that’s just how I am, as if God made them incapable of doing right, or say somehow God wants me to be happy, as if they have a free pass from on high to live any way that they want.

So Adam, in the same way, starts making all kinds of excuses, and part of his excuse making is to say, you know what, Lord, I think part of this is your problem. You gave me this difficult woman. All of that means that his ability to lead this home is badly damaged. Leaders always own up to their mistakes. You know anything about Dwight Eisenhower? When Dwight Eisenhower passed away, and the historians began to sift through his belongings, all of his papers, they found a very carefully typewritten statement, dated June 6th, 1944. It said simply, the Allied landings of Europe have failed today. And I alone am responsible for this great loss.

But he was ready to, wasn’t he? Ready to take responsibility if the D-Day invasion had failed. I think about David, who, in front of a court full of people, dignitaries and soldiers and ambassadors and cabinet ministers, was confronted by an old prophet who looked right into his soul and said, You are the man. And rather than saying, off with his head, no one will talk to the king that way. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Get out of here. In front of everyone. David humbled himself. I have sinned. David took responsibility. David took responsibility for his own failings. These are great men, real men, real leaders that we’re talking about here. We are, in the words of one writer, talking about people who refuse to speak the language of victimhood.

You know what I’m talking about? One writer says, if you read Adam’s sin through the lens of today’s world, you will hear the language of I’m a victim. Adam’s saying, I’m the victim of that woman, and in fact, God, I’m the victim of you because you gave her to me. I can’t help myself. I can’t do any better. I can’t resist. I’m just a pawn in the hands of others. That’s the failing language of a man who failed, who passively watched while his wife committed sin and then joined her in it because he was not man enough to step up and lead her to do better. And that is absolutely proven. When we read verse 12, and we see that he will not take responsibility. And that would lead me to ask, what do you do, guys?

When you foul it up. When you get lost. Now, it’s not a sin to get lost when you’re driving in the car. What are you going to blame that on your wife because she didn’t fold the map right? Or angle the GPS at exactly the right angle. So you see that? Rant and rave at everybody else. Or do we just have to admit I missed the turn? And on a much more serious level. When we’ve yelled at a child who didn’t deserve it. Because we had a bad day at the office. When we haven’t treated our wife in an understanding way, as Peter talks about in 1 Peter 3. When we’ve not served our brethren as we should. What do we do then? Bluster? Fuss about how everybody else gets it wrong too, don’t you know?

Conclusion

I’m only human. Say all the kinds of lame things that Adam said because he wasn’t man enough to own up to his mistake. Leadership is always based on character. Character is built on a willingness to be honest, to have integrity, and to say, that was my fault. I take responsibility for that. That was sinful. I’m so sorry I did that. I’m going to repent of that, and I’m never, as God helps me doing that again. I did it. And I’m sorry that I did. That’s what Adam couldn’t do here. But that’s what you and I must do if we’re going to lead our homes. And we began this evening with little words. I do. And yes, look out. And with her. We’re ending this evening with a big word leadership.

And the responsibilities that come with that for every man here. Let me pause for just a moment to say something to the ladies that are here. One of the things that women need to gain from this lesson is some understanding of what your husband is trying to do. Ask yourself, sisters in Christ.