God’s Guidance on Gossip

Introduction

If you would be opening your Bibles to Ephesians chapter 4. And I want you to look with me again this evening at verse 29. Someone says, David, you picked up the wrong outline. That’s where we were this morning. No? I want us to talk a little more about what we were considering this morning. In Ephesians 4 and verse 29, Paul said, Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment that it may give grace to those who hear. We talked about some of the language, some of the words that ought not to characterize a person who claims to follow Jesus. And we we put together a list this morning of some things that probably all of us would recognize shouldn’t characterize a Christian speech.

And then we added three things that maybe aren’t so obvious, but that we do need to think about. Things like language that’s on the border or hurtful things said to a spouse in private or griping and complaining. How those two are corrupt forms of communication that Paul was urging us to put off. And when we think about how we ought to change in our speech, those are things that we need to eliminate from our conversation. Well, there was one more thing that I think belongs on the list. Ned asked me before the service if this just dawned on me this afternoon. No. But uh I think it’s a subject that merits perhaps a little more consideration than we could give it this morning. There is another thing that I want to add to that list, and I’d like for us to spend some time this evening thinking about in a little more depth.

I want to talk to you about gossip. Because I think gossip is a corrupt form of communication, a destructive way to use our gift of speech, and one about which we need to seriously consider and make sure that we put away from our lives. Obviously, as we’ll see this evening, there are a number of Bible passages that condemn the whisperer, the one who would speak slanderously, the one who would backbite, the one who would gossip. But you know, I have found that for many Christians, the problem is not understanding that we shouldn’t gossip. I think if we were to take a poll of the audience and say, raise your hand if you think it’s wrong to gossip, I suspect everyone would raise their hands. In fact, I’m convinced that most Christians are even a bit conscientious about it and make some effort not to be guilty.

But sometimes that is precisely where the struggle is. It’s knowing what exactly constitutes gossip. And when have we crossed that line and become what the wise men called in Proverbs a tailbearer? Or what Paul called a whisperer. For example, have you ever found yourself concerned about a brother or sister in Christ? Maybe because of something you had seen in their conduct, maybe because of something you had heard somebody else say, but for whatever reason you were you were concerned about their spiritual condition, and you wanted to say something to someone about it, but you thought, oh, would that be gossip to talk about them to someone else? Or have you ever been insulted by someone or hurt in some way by a brother or sister of Christ who mistreated you?

And you really wanted to talk to someone about that, just to kind of pour your guts out and say how hurt you were and how you felt about it. But you thought, oh, if I do that, I might be gossiping. Have you ever been irritated with the elders? Oh, come on, you can admit it. Frustrated with something they did or didn’t do, and you found yourself exasperated and you weren’t sure maybe if your attitude was right, and you wanted to go talk to someone about what they had done or what they had said that you thought maybe wasn’t the right thing, but you hesitated and you thought, oh, if I do that, will I be, will I be gossiping about that? Over the years that I’ve been preaching, I’ve had a number of well-meaning Christians who really wrestled with questions like that, and I have to confess that at times I’ve been numbered among them.

But I haven’t always been sure where exactly we ought to draw that line. Not only sure what actually constitutes gossip.

And that we need to give serious consideration to what exactly gossip is and make sure that we don’t involve ourselves in it. Brethren, we need to understand that gossip is one of the most destructive ways that people communicate. Gossip and backbiting and talking behind each other’s backs, and really even simple conversations about the problems and weaknesses of others made without malice in our hearts, can be destructive to the family of God. It leads just to a whole host of problems. Gossip alienates brethren from each other. It creates suspicion and distrust. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had people come to me very upset because somebody knew some private information about them, and their attitude was, well, who knows? Who knows what about me now?

Who knows how many people in the church know about this? It undermines the leadership of a congregation. It results in bitterness and resentment. But ultimately, the greatest tragedy is that when all of that’s going on, it undermines the effectiveness of a congregation. Brethren, if we’re running around all the time, having to put out the petty fires that are started by gossip and having to deal with all the strife and conflict those things create, it distracts us from the true mission that we need to be doing as a church, and that is winning souls for Jesus Christ and helping those who are saved to grow to maturity. So I’m telling you, this is a valid concern. We need to be wrestling with a question. What exactly is gossip?

1. Refrain From Attitudes That Help Lead to Gossip

And has my behavior at times crossed the line? But what we need to properly handle that is some help from the scripture. And so I want us to spend some time tonight looking at some ways the Bible helps us to better understand gossip, some guidance that God gives us so that we can know where to draw the line and to be sure that this kind of destructive conversation is eliminated from our lives as Christians. So there are three principles that I want you to look, consider with me this evening, three points that I want us to draw from the scripture that I think relate to this struggle. First of all, if you’d be turning in your Bibles to 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, I want us to notice, first of all, that the Bible would warn us to refrain from the kinds of attitudes and behaviors that help lead to gossip that make the soil fertile for gossip.

In 2 Thessalonians chapter 3, notice with me what Paul says to some in this church in verses 11 and 12. And then let’s connect it to what we’re trying to say about gossip. In 2 Thessalonians 3, verse 11, Paul says, For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies. Now, such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in a quiet fashion and eat their own bread.

What is a busybody? What’s he talking about? Well, he’s talking about a person who, neglecting their own responsibility, sees the need to always have their nose in everyone else’s business. You ever know somebody like that? Who just had the need to be in the know about everybody else? Who just had to know if there was a crisis, if there was a problem, they had to be informed. They had to be up to date. You ever had someone come up to you and say, uh, what’s that about over there? What? Those people look upset. Do you know what it’s about? Can you tell me anything? And if you don’t have the information, they’re gonna go find somebody that does. They want to know what’s going on with everyone.

In fact, there’s a great passage that I think talks about that. If you go back to the book of Proverbs for just a minute, Proverbs chapter 18. Are you getting the idea that Proverbs has a whole lot to say about our speech? It’s a great book to spend some time considering if we want to bring our speech to where the Lord wants it to be. In Proverbs 18 and verse 8. He said, the words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels. They go down into the innermost parts of the body. Dainty morsels. I think he’s talking about chocolate then. He’s talking about something that’s greatly desired to eat. And that’s how, that’s how a busybody is. They want those dainty morsels. What that scandalous, salacious piece of information about someone.

I thought about this today. After I left the building, I was headed home for lunch, and my wife said, Well, I’d like you to stop by the store and get some butter. So I stopped by the store, went in and got some butter, and as I was checking out, you know what’s displayed across there as you go out? The inquirer. You know, I’ve seen that in the homes of some Christians, and I’m thinking, where in the world do we think God would want us putting that stuff in our minds? But that’s another sermon. Anyway, as I’m passing by, I kept catch the headlines. You ever read the headlines on some of those things? Those are the dainty morsels that go out down into the inward part.

What about the divorce between Bill and Hillary? I think was on the cover today. And how that actor out in California is the one who really shot his wife. I don’t know, with several different headlines like that. But those are the dainty morsels that pull you in. Don’t you want to know the salacious truth about what’s really happening in the former president’s marriage? Well, I hope not. Because frankly, it’s not any of my business. And it’s not anybody’s business but theirs. But that’s the attitude. I’ve got to be in the know. I’ve got to have the scoop on everything that’s going on. In fact, sometimes I think that’s what feeds the gossiping, is because not only do I have to be in the know, but but see, you’ve got to know that I’m in the know.

2. The Scripture Plainly Teaches Us Not to Gossip

I want you to know that I’m always aware of what’s going on. I’ve always got the scoop on everything. And so there is this mindset that helps to feed this sin of gossip. And so what Paul is trying to say is don’t be a busybody. Don’t be a meddler in other men’s business. Don’t be curious about every salacious detail in someone else’s life. That is the thinking and the mindset of a gossip. And Paul says what we need to do is David Banning needs to get busy busy taking care of David Banning’s business. And that’s what the rest of us need to do too. Now, building on that thought, not only does he tell us not to be a busybody, but then the scripture goes on to plainly teach us not to gossip.

And we need to give some eye some thought to what exactly the scriptures mean when they talk about that. I want to invite you first to Romans chapter 1. And I want us to look there because Paul, in writing to the Romans, would condemn what more modern translations rendered gossip in Romans 1 and verse 29. In fact, as he gives this whole list of sins, in fact, it’s interesting to notice the company that gossip keeps in verse 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, they are gossip, slanderers, haters of God, and so on. Well, that’s not good company, is it? Some of the old translations use the word whisperer. But I want you to notice that it is included in the description of the godless world at that time.

Again, in 2 Corinthians chapter 12 and verse 20, gossip is listed among the sins that Paul feared would be present in the Corinthian church when he came there. Scholars tell us that the word translated here, gossip or whisperer, is a word that literally means secret slander. Here’s the person that goes behind the back of somebody in private and is talking about what they know, talking about someone behind their back, saying unkind, unflattering things about somebody behind their back. And I want you to notice that that kind of conduct in Paul’s letter is listed among the worst of sins as something that ought not to be characteristic of God’s people. But then there are a number of Old Testament passages that also warn us about the sin of gossip.

Let’s go back to the book of Proverbs. And I want you to notice that in Proverbs 11 and verse 13, the wise man would identify the gossip or the tailbearer as one who reveals secrets. In chapter 11 and verse 13, he said, He who goes about as a tailbearer reveals secret, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter. Again in chapter 20 of Proverbs and in verse 19, he makes a similar point. He said, He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip. Now I think that helps us to understand a little better what gossip involves, doesn’t it? Here is a person that you can’t trust with any information because they’re going to be busy going about sharing it with everyone else.

In fact, in Proverbs 20 and verse 19, my translation has a little marginal note. And where it uses the word gossip, it adds one who opens his lips. Literally, the idea is here is a person that can’t keep his mouth shut. If he knows something, he’s got to tell it. And particularly, I think, he’s sharing information that is not designed for public consumption. Back in 11 in verse 13, he who goes about as a tailbearer reveals secrets. Here is a matter that was intended to be kept private. Have you ever told someone something that was on your heart? And you really wanted it to be just between you and them, and before you know it, four or five people knew. How did you feel? Well, you probably said, I’ll never tell them anything again.

They’re not trustworthy. In fact, chapter 11 and verse 13 of Proverbs goes on to say, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter. That doesn’t mean they covered up some sin. It means that when something is shared in confidence, they keep it in confidence. And you can trust that they’re not going to blab your business to everybody. That’s what a gossip is, brethren. It’s a person who reveals secrets, information that was entrusted to them and intended to keep private. Information that doesn’t need to be spread about to others, but they share it anyway. Are you beginning to get a picture of the sin that’s involved? I want you to notice something else in Proverbs, though. Another thing that the writer of Proverbs would do is not only help us to understand what the sin is, but he would also tell us some of its devastating effects.

In Proverbs chapter 26 and verse 20, for example. Listen to this. Proverbs 26 and verse 20. For lack of wood, the fire goes out. And where there is no whisperer.