Let No Corrupt Communication Proceed From Your Mouth

Introduction

If you would be opening your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 18. Proverbs chapter 18. I want you to think with me this morning about what a blessing it is, what an awesome power we’ve been given in the ability we human beings have to communicate. I don’t know that we always appreciate how unbelievably powerful our words are. Although over and over again, the God of heaven has been trying to help us to understand that. One place he does that here is in Proverbs 18. In fact, if you’ll skip on down to verse 21, I want you to notice with me what I think may well be the most pointed statement in all of the Bible about the incredible power of words. He simply states in verse 21 that death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Did you catch that? He said, Death and life are in the power of the tongue. And what I’d like you to appreciate with me this morning is that those words are literally true. That there have been times that people have lived or died because of words. Words are able to deliver and words are able to destroy. In fact, if you’ll skip back to Proverbs chapter 12, and this time look at verse 18. The wise man would try to impress upon us the fact that words have great power for good and great power for evil. In verse 18, he says, There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Catch that. Our gift of speech can be used to communicate to somebody the gospel of Jesus Christ.

And when they obey it, it’ll make a difference in where they spend eternity. Those are powerful words for good. But our same gift of speech can be used in our relationship with our spouse to rip and tear, to run down and insult our children among God’s people to gossip and backbite and complain. Marriages, homes, churches have been destroyed and torn apart because of the great power of our words. Look over, if you will, at Matthew chapter 12, because I want you to notice in light of all that, something that Jesus tells us. In Matthew chapter 12, Jesus has been accused by the Pharisees of casting out demons by the power of Belzebub. An absurd accusation. And Jesus, in the context of chapter 12, would rebuke the Pharisees for these absurd words that they had spoken.

But there’s something I want you to notice in verse 36 that he says that has a broader application that we need to take into account. In verse 36, Jesus says, But I say to you that every careless word that men shall speak. Did you catch that? Every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. Do you realize the scope of that verse? Every careless word will give an account for. Verse 37, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. Why would the Lord say something like that? How stringent could he be? It is because he appreciates what you and I often do not appreciate, and that is every careless word is powerful.

Life and death are in the power of the tongue. And what he’s trying to tell us is that we need to be careful. About every time, on every occasion we might employ this gift of communication. We need to be cautious and careful. Because words are so very powerful. It’s not surprising for that reason to find that God just has a lot to say to us about our speech. I invite your attention to one passage I want you to notice with me this morning, found in Ephesians chapter 4. It is amazing to notice the number of things that the Bible would say about our words and about our tongue and about our ability to communicate, and about the need to be cautious and careful in how we use this great and powerful ability.

One that I want you to notice with me is that here in Ephesians 4 in verse 29. To set the context for just a moment, earlier in this passage, Paul has talked about what it means to become a Christian. And how when you choose to follow Jesus, there is a laying aside, he says, of an old self, of an old way of life, an old manner of life, a sinful self that we put off with all of its practices when we become a Christian. And he says, there’s a new man that we’re to put on, a new person we become, new character, new way of living that we that we develop when we choose to follow Jesus. But Paul is not satisfied just to say, become a new person and stop being that old person.

He begins in verse 25 to say, let me tell you what that means. And so he would say in verse 25, therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak the truth, each one of you with his neighbor. If you’re a new person in Christ, you stop lying and start telling the truth. And really, on through the rest of the book, he talks about this process of putting off and putting on. What you stop being, what you start meeting. And in verse 29, not surprisingly, because of the power of our words, he says something to us about our words. I want you to notice that with me. In verse 29, he says, let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth. But only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.

There are three things I want you to notice with me that Paul says in verse 29. Three things about our words. Number one, I want you to notice that Paul clearly recognized the point we’ve been making this morning, and that is that words are powerful. He says that words are able to edify and to give grace to those who hear. He acknowledged the power of our words. Secondly, I want you to notice with me this morning that Paul argues that we are in complete control of our speech. Someone says, Oh, I said that without thinking. No, we didn’t. We exercise complete control over what comes out of our mouth. He said, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. But the third thing I want you to notice with me is that Paul argues that ultimately all speech falls into one of two categories.

On the one hand, he says, Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth. I like that word unwholesome. It’s a nice way of saying rotten, and that’s really his point. Don’t let anything rotten come out of your mouth. You’re a follower of Jesus Christ now, and all rotten, filthy, garbage speech just shouldn’t ever come out of your mouth. It’s our struggle as a Christian to put that kind of talk completely away from us. But then he goes on to say there’s another kind of speech. Words that edify and build up other. Words that are perfectly fitting for the moment. Words that give spiritual benefit to those who hear. He says, put that on. When it comes to what comes out of your mouth, that’s what needs to come out.

Nothing rotten, but whatever will build up and edify and strengthen and fit the need of the moment, that’s that’s the task. I know we don’t do that perfectly, brethren, but I want you to see clearly with me the goal. To put off what is rotten and to put on what is wholesome and appropriate and fitting. That’s the challenge that we face as Christians with regard to our speech. And we need to honestly, brethren, evaluate the kind of words we speak, the kind of language we use, what comes out of our mouth, and to see which category those words fit into. In Proverbs chapter 10 and verse 31, the wise man says that the mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, but the perverted tongue will be cut off.

The lips of the righteous bring forth what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked that which is perverted. Again, he makes the same distinction. There is speech that is pure and flowing with wisdom and characteristic of the righteous, and there is what is perverted that comes out of the wicked. So into which category does our speech fall? Well, I’d like for you to think with me about that a little while this morning. And I’d like to do more this morning than just kind of talk in some vague generalities and say, well, you know, we ought to talk better. Well, what does that mean? In fact, what I’d really like to do with you this morning is to make a list of some of the kinds of unwholesome communication, unwholesome words, rotten speech that shouldn’t come out of the mouth of a Christian.

1. Irreverent Use of God’s Name

And I want to begin this morning by making a list of some things that I think are probably obvious words and obvious communication that if we were to sit down this morning and say, okay, we want to make a list of things that Christians shouldn’t say, I want to say there are at least three things that if we were to do that this morning, everybody would probably have on their list. Let’s think about those for a minute this morning. What are some obvious things that we need to put off from our language if we’re a Christian? Well, how about this one? How about irreverent use of God’s name? I’m suspicious that if I ask you this morning to make a list of everything that shouldn’t characterize a Christian speech, probably everybody at some place on their list would say, well, in fact, we’d almost quote Exodus 20 and verse 7, we shouldn’t take the name of our God in vain, right?

I suppose maybe there was a time many years ago in this country where even people who weren’t very religious had a respect for the name of God and were reluctant to use that name in a way that was profane or irreverent. I don’t think we live in that kind of world today. I think people all the time in their conversation, we hear it on television, we see it in the movies, use the name of God in a way that is flippant as an exclamation to curse someone, to give emphasis to some filthy expletive that they’re using, and that’s disturbing. But it disturbs me too, even to hear among God’s people sometimes a rather flippant use of the names of deity. It bugs me sometimes when I hear kids say, Oh God.

And it’s not the beginning of a prayer. Or to hear someone say in a moment of exasperation, Jesus Christ.

You know, the Bible teaches us that we’re to honor God and to hold him in respect and in reverence. And in fact, go back for a minute to Exodus chapter 20 and look at that third of the Ten Commandments. Exodus 20 and verse 7 told the children of Israel that they weren’t to take the name of the Lord their God in vain. Well, what did that mean? Well, I think it meant a lot of things to the people of that time in that culture. I think it meant that they weren’t to use the name of God in some kind of occultic practices where they might invoke his name to try to conjure up spirits or something of that nature. I think that’d be included. I think it included the idea that they were not to use the name of God in blasphemy.

They weren’t to use the name of God to back up a lie, in other words, invoke the name of God so as to make them seem serious when they were really being dishonest. But generally speaking, folks, I think it meant that they weren’t to use the name of God in any way that was idle or flippant or irreverent. And then I think about what Jesus said in Matthew chapter 6 and verse 9. Remember in the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus was trying to give a sample of how to pray? Not a prayer that he meant for us to recite over and over again, but an example of what prayer should include. What people call the Lord’s prayer. Remember how he began that prayer? What did he say about the name of God?

In Matthew chapter 6 and verse 9, he says, hallowed is your name. Word hallow is an interesting word. It means that the name of God to us is to be different. Unlike any other name that we might use. Set apart and special to us. Now, I want you to understand. That when we’re told that the name of God is hallowed, I understand that that means more than just the words by which God is called or special and different. I think names represent the person and the nature of that person. And really, what Jesus is saying is that we are to have reverence and respect for God. But certainly it goes without saying that to use the name of God in a way that is flippant or for an expletive or for a curse demonstrates an utter lack of respect for Him.

2. Filthy and Vulgar Words

In Psalms 111 and verse 9, in the latter part of our verse, the psalmist said, holy and awesome is his name. And when we use it in that fashion, that’s not reflecting its holiness and its awesomeness to us. You know, men, men will come to blows over what someone says about their mama. And yet seem to think so little of how the name of their God is used. Well, I think we need to rethink that. Wholesome communication surely would be free of any irreverent use of God’s name. But there are other things we could put on that list. I imagine if we ask everyone to make a list, probably everyone would say something about filthy and vulgar words. I’m talking about words that even society recognizes are unwholesome and inappropriate.

You know, there are even some words today that you can’t say on television. There aren’t very many left. But there are still some words that they say, well, it’s it’s inappropriate, in fact, illegal in this country to use on television. And there are some words in our culture that even though sometimes they seem to be widely used, that people recognize are vulgar and filthy and wouldn’t be counted in terms of Ephesians 4 29 as being wholesome, appropriate communication. And certainly, if our society judges a certain word or certain language to be filthy, how much more should Christians abstain from that kind of talk? In fact, let me just add an additional point along these lines that I think we need to think about. We need to remember the significance of laying claim to being a Christian and who we represent when we say that we’re a Christian.

In Matthew chapter 5 and verse 13, talking about the subject of influence, Jesus would say that we’re the salt of the earth. And in verse 14, we’re to be the light to the world. And in verse 16, he says, let your light shine before such men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven. You know, that is a principle whose implications are far reaching and that trickles down into all kinds of different aspects of our conduct. We need to remember that our goal is to go out as a light, bringing glory to God so that others would see us and glorify him. That’s the way we need to conduct our lives. Every day, I need to go out as a representative of Jesus Christ, determined to live my life in a way that he would be glorified by my conduct.

To live my life in a way that would be consistent with my claim to be a Christian. Now let me ask you a question. Let’s suppose you go into work tomorrow. And as you’re coming into the office or wherever you were, down the hall, you see someone else going out of the boss’s office. It’s obvious they’ve had a bad meeting. He’s upset, and as he goes down the hall, you just hear him rattling off a whole series of filthy words. Let me ask you, is your first instinct to think that guy has got to be a Christian? Right? No. In fact, later on, if at lunch he started talking to you about the Bible or God or the scriptures, where would your mind go back to?

3. Lying, Deceiving

Yeah, right. A Christian? That way he talked? Come on. People notice what we say. And the kind of language we use is a reflection on our character. And as a representative of Jesus Christ, our objective is to be sure that my language fits this claim to be a Christian. And let me tell you, when you claim to be a Christian, people in the world are going to watch that much more closely. So anything that society judges as filthy and vulgar would be completely inconsistent with our effort to be a good representative of Jesus Christ. How about one more thing to put on that list of obvious things? How about lying, deceiving? Surely, somewhere, if we were going to make a list of things that ought not come out of a Christian’s mouth, somewhere all of us would put something about lying.

You know, this is a subject on which the Bible is just unmistakable. In fact, if you go back to Ephesians 4, remember where Paul begins to get specific in terms of putting off this old man and putting on this new, the first thing he talks about in verse 25 is this matter of honesty. He says, therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak the truth, each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. In fact, what I want you to notice there is he doesn’t just say that Christians shouldn’t lie, put off falsehood. That’s part of it. There’s a reason that we put off falsehood. He goes on to say, and speak the truth, each one of you with his neighbor. The reason a Christian can’t lie is because it’s fundamentally opposed to his new character in Christ.

As a Christian, we tell the truth. We’re honest. That’s our character. And so to lie is completely out of character. And a corrupt way to employ this gift of speech. And so lying, deception, the attempt to hide the truth, all of that, well, that’s put off. That’s not part of our conversation. Well, I know we could put a couple more things on that list, but as I said to you a moment ago, those are the obvious things. Maybe not as obvious as they need to be. Maybe some of these things are things we got to work on and think about periodically, and we get caught up in the trap of involving ourselves in these. But probably in our minds, most of us would say, yeah, I know we we shouldn’t do those things.

4. Borderline Language

That shouldn’t be part of our communication. But let me say this to you that I think there are some other things that sometimes aren’t so obvious, but that ought to be on the list. And in the time we have left this morning, I’d like to challenge you to think with me about these things. And maybe to put them on our list more faithfully than we do. For example. How about borderline language? Someone says, What are you talking about? Borderline language. Well, we all know there are some words that are obviously filthy and corrupt, right? We talked about that under vulgar and filthy speech. And on the other hand, there are some words that are obviously and unmistakably pure and right and clean, and we had to make a list, we could make a list of those two, right?

What about the stuff in between?

You know what I’m talking about? I’m talking about words that some Christian parents don’t let their children use, and yet you’ll find other Christian parents that do. What about those words? And what about a joke that you might tell? Well, let me rephrase that. A joke you might tell to a friend at work, but you might not share with one of the elders. Never known a joke like that? What about humor that contains sexual innuendo or makes fun of something sinful or wicked like homosexuality? What about words or phrases or humors or humor that leaves us thinking? Should I really repeat this? Is this really a good thing to say? Or maybe asking the question the other way. Is it really wrong to tell that, Joe?

Is that word really wrong? You know what I’m talking about? Everybody getting a mental image of the kinds of words and phrases and jokes we have in mind? What do we do about, what do we do about those things that are borderline? Maybe we wouldn’t say vulgar, but what about crude speech? Two things I want to say about that this morning. Number one, do I ever want to do or say anything that leaves doubt with others about my commitment to following Jesus? Remember, we go out every day as a representative of Jesus Christ. And we want our lives and our conduct and our speech always to reflect well on that claim. Now let me tell you something. If you’re wrestling with whether or not you ought to repeat a joke, then I guarantee you you’re going to find someone else who would also wonder whether or not it was appropriate for you to say that.

And if you’ve got some words in your vocabulary and you think, are those really good words? There are other people out there who’ve wondered the same thing about those words. Now, goal, folks, if my goal is to always do what I can to reflect well on my claim to follow Jesus. Why would I ever want to say or repeat anything that might potentially cast doubt on you? You know the old saying. When in doubt, what? Leave it out. If you can’t confidently say it, know with certainty that this will meet with the acceptance and approval of others, that they won’t consider it filthy or vulgar or crude. If I’m not confident about that, don’t do it. In fact, let me say to you secondly, that the goal here is not just to be sure that we don’t say things that are rotten.

What did Paul say in Ephesians 4 29? He said, let your speech be edifying, fitting to the need of the moment. The goal here is just not just to abstain from being crude or rotten in our speech. The goal is to be edifying and wholesome and uplifting in our speech. Brethren, it’s not seeing how close we can get to the line. It’s not trying to define vulgar so we can get right up against it without slipping over. The goal is to be so pure and edifying and appropriate in my conversation that people will never have a question about who I’m trying to follow and who I’m trying to live with in my life. If I can’t confidently say that this joke or this word is going to complement my claim to follow Jesus, then I don’t want to use it.

5. Hurtful, Insulting Things We Say to Our Spouses

Because what I do want to always be sure is that I represent Jesus Christ well. So I think that stuff belongs on the list. Something else I think belongs on the list. And that is hurtful, insulting things that we say to our spouses in private.

Over the years I’ve become convinced that maybe it’s not.

And it’s not something that anyone else will know about, because their comments, their words spoken in anger, typically privately between a husband and wife, and yet when they start having problems, it begins to all come out. For some reason, it seems that there are some married couples who are convinced that there’s a different set of rules in the privacy of their own home. Tragically, when they get with that one person who is most special to them or should be, in fits of anger, couples will say some of the most unkind and insulting things and even use some of the most vulgar, abusive speech imaginable. I don’t get that. Such a use of our gift of speech is a tragedy and a crime. Certainly nobody would put that under the category of being wholesome, appropriate speech.

What it does is it doesn’t build up our marriage, it discourages growth in our relationship, it tears down and it destroys.

And certainly to treat each other and to speak to each other in those ways is not consistent with the love that the scripture demands. I’m going to tell you something else. If in our arguing we are degenerating to the point of vulgar, insulting, hurtful words, we better watch out. Because that psalmist said in Psalm 12 and verse 18 that there’s one who speaks rashly, or Proverbs 12 and verse 18, there’s one who speaks rashly like the thrust of a sword. And we can take our words in the heat of moment and we can slice and cut and wound and offend. And even after the fight’s over and even after forgiveness, those hurtful words will cause pain for years to come. I don’t know why it is that with some folks they’ve decided that when it’s in the privacy of their home between them and their spouse, the rules are gone.

But you know what? If that’s happening in your marriage this morning, first of all, we need to acknowledge that that’s wicked and sinful behavior. And if it’s going on in our marriage, we need to repent to our spouse and commit ourselves to refrain from that kind of abuse of this great gift of speech God’s given us. That ought to be obvious, folks. It shouldn’t be on that side of the list, although I’m afraid at times it belongs there. Can I give you one more? Not so obvious thing. Thank you, Brother Rufus. I’ll assume that was a yes.

6. Grumbling and Complaining

Alright, last thing I want you to think about that goes on the list, maybe we don’t realize. How about complaining? Young people, I want you all to listen to this too. Turn in your Bibles, if you will, to 1 Corinthians chapter 10. I think complaining is another corrupt form of communication that, in fact, the Bible warns us about that we need to put off. In fact, if you’ve done a 1 Corinthians chapter 10, I want to begin reading around verse 6. What we have in this context is a list of sins of which the Israelites in the Old Testament were guilty. And what, and what Paul does is he warns us, he says, Now don’t you do the same thing. For example, in 1 Corinthians 10 and verse 6, he says, Now all these things happened as examples for us that we should not crave evil things as they also crave, and do not be idolaters as some of them were, as it is written, the people sat down to eat and drink and stood up to play.

Nor let us act immorally, as some of them did, and 23,000 fell in one day. Nor let us try the Lord as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents. Verse 10. Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. Now these things happen to them as an example. And they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Did you catch that? Nor grumble as they did. Oh, that’s a pathetic story from the Old Testament. Have you studied that? The time that the Israelites spent wandering in the wilderness. Here was the God of heaven delivering them from Egyptian bondage, brings them down to Mount Sinai, gives them his law every step of the way, chooses them as his special people, and every step of their journey gives them everything they could possibly need.

He’s bringing them to the promised land. And do you know how they responded to God’s goodness? They griped and complained every step along the way about something. Someone says, Oh, it’s wicked people. Yeah, that’s right. But their story, if we’re not careful, can sound familiar. Paul’s warning is, don’t let this happen to you. Don’t be a grumbler, but do we? Come on. Some folks just seem to grumble about life generally. Forgetting what good they’ve had and how God’s blessed them, they can just always look around and find someone who’s got better or finer or newer and feel deprived and gripe and complain about how unfair life has been to them. Young people, teenagers, and even some before that, can be guilty. And fail to appreciate the good, rich blessings they have of a godly mom and dad and just gripe and complain because I can’t go to that party Friday night.

Life is tough. And we can have grumbling and complaining that goes on in the church. Some can be guilty of grumbling against God’s appointed leaders. Like the Israelites grumbled against Moses. Here some judgment call has to be made by the elders, and maybe had we’ve been in their shoes, it’s not the decision we would have made, and so we kind of under our breath grumble and complain about what the elders have done. I’ve never understood that. I mean, we appoint these men to be leaders, and part of being a leader means you’ve got to make some tough judgment calls sometime. And as soon as they show a little leadership and make a tough call, and we complain. Well, what do we want? Leaders or not? I don’t know.

Or maybe it’s not about the elders. Maybe it’s just about stuff that goes on in the church. You know, let me help you out. Any church, anywhere, anytime. If we look around enough, we’ll find something to be unhappy about. Stay around here at Bumby long enough. Look around real close, and there’ll be some things to grumble about and be unhappy about. The problem is some of us seem so adept at that. So capable of looking about, no matter what else is going good and right in the church or in our lives, but we can find what won’t make us happy, and that’s the issue. That’s the biggest star shining in the sky. Well, grumbling is corrupt communication because it is devastating to the body of Christ.

It doesn’t just make us negative, but it tears down everybody else that has to listen to us. I know, folks, we need to see our weaknesses and we need to work on them, but we need to do something else too. We need to learn to rejoice in what’s good and what’s right and celebrate that. I’m reminded of the letter that Jesus wrote to the seven churches of Asia. In each of those letters, not only did Jesus get on to them about what wasn’t right, but I want you to know in every almost every one of those letters, he found something good to say.

Grumbling is destructive to the body of Christ. Complaining discourages families and marriages. It’s a corrupt form of communication that we need to put on.