Raising A Family

Introduction

Alright, we’ve come to the final lesson on this uh afternoon. I want us to take a look at Genesis 29 now, and the verses are 31 through 35. Genesis 29, 31 through 35. Who would like to read that for us? Someone who hasn’t read yet. Who hasn’t read? You haven’t read, Jake? Let’s go ahead and read that, please. Genesis 29, verses 31 through 35. When the Lord saw that Leah, can you conceive in more sons that you call the king of Eden?

Now therefore my husband will love me. Then she conceived again in more sons. Because the Lord has heard that I’m not. He is therefore his son also.

She conceived again more sons and said, No, this time my husband will become attached to me. Because I am born to him three sons. Therefore his name was called me to Mud.

And said, Now I will praise the Lord. Therefore he called his name to Judah. Thank you, said spirit. Alright. What do we see here in this text? Because it’s what we’re going to talk about for the next couple of minutes. Now ask the question in such a way that whatever you say is correct. Yes, ma’am.

Alright. Leah is giving birth to some of Jacob’s sons. What we see here is the beginning of Jacob’s family. We begin to see the beginning of not only him having children, but from this point forward, we begin to see him raising these children. On yesterday evening, we talked about some of the things that Jacob had to endure as a result of his children. You know, one of his daughters, his only daughter, Dinah. She was defiled by some of the men, by one of one of the princes of the land. We also see that two of his sons were provoked to murder these men, Simeon and Levi. He had to deal with that. Can you imagine having a child that decided to kill somebody else? You know, this is one of the oldest sins in the Bible when Cain killed Abel.

How do you think that made Adam and Eve feel? They had two children, and one decided to eliminate the other. You know, murder. Think about some of the other things that Jacob had to deal with as a father. He had a son named Reuben who committed fornications with one of his wives’ handmaidens after the death of his wife. He had to deal with the death of Rachel, and then he had to deal with the foolishness that his oldest boy found himself in.

Judah had already gotten married, had sons, he had three. Then they had families, and you know, Ur died. So then Tamar, who was married to Ur, ended up marrying Onan, and then Oan died. So now Tamar was waiting for the third son of Judah, and Judah had to make a decision that, oh no, there’s no way I’m going to allow this third son to marry my daughter in law because my first two sons died as a result of being married to her. And then what happened from there? You know, Tamar realized that Judah was a promise breaker instead of a promise keeper. So she decided to dress like a harlot, and then she ended up having relations with her father-in-law. And then when Tamar turned up pregnant, yeah, all of this is in the Bible.

Genesis chapter 38. When that eventually happened, Judah said, Well, she needs to be burned. And then Tamar says, Well, before you burn me, I think I need to let you know who my baby daddy is. And when Judah found out that it was him, he says, Well, she’s more righteous than me. Well, guess what? That was Jacob’s son wrapped up in that foolishness. How do you think that may have made Jacob feel? Think about it if it was your own child. Think about it if you were to do something like that. How would your parents respond? How would it make them feel? Think about when he received the information that his son Joseph had died. All of his sons come back and say, tell us if this is your son’s coat.

Yeah, that’s my son’s coat. Why is it dipped in blood? We think some wilder beast came and just eliminated him. He had to mourn the death of Joseph, and Joseph wasn’t even dead. But he thought he was. To the extent that Jacob was making all kinds of decisions from that point forward to protect his brother Benjamin, because he didn’t want his brother Benjamin to suffer the same fate as Joseph, because he was led to believe that Joseph was dead. Jacob had to deal with the reality that some 20 years later almost, his sons come back and say, Dad, Joseph is alive. Twenty years ago you told me that he was dead. How do you think that made Jacob feel? Jacob had to deal with all of this.

Think about you as a youth, as a youth right now. Doesn’t it make you feel good when you do something and your parents are happy and proud of you? What about if you do something bad or wrong or if you act irresponsibly? How does it make your parents feel? Do you know the difference between a person who’s a child of Satan and a person who’s a child of God in relation to how our sins affect the creator of the world? If we’re a child of Satan and we sin, yeah, we broke God’s law. But when you become a Christian and you turn around and you break God’s law, then not only have you broken God’s law, you’ve also broken God’s heart. Because he’s your father. And you’ve done something to let him down.

Well, as parents, when you all begin to have children, they’re going to bring you the greatest joy. When you have that son, that daughter, that new life that you made with your husband, that new life that you’ve made with your wife, and you’re going to have a child. But then this child is going to grow up. And they’re going to have some ways about them. You tell them to eat, and they look at you and say, I don’t want to eat. No. Well, you, as a parent, have to raise your child. Just like your parents have to raise you. Don’t think that it was all peaches and cream, sunshine, with your parents raising you. Many of you have given your parents a hard time. Some of you are still giving your parents a hard time.

And we need to repent if we are still giving our parents a hard time. When it comes to child rearing, when it comes to having a family, understand that Satan has a strategy. But God also has a strategy. Satan’s strategy is to try to get that child further and further away from God. God’s strategy through child rearing is to bring that child closer and closer and closer to him. So understand when we’re talking about God’s strategy, God’s strategy is to effectively train. That means to lead, feed, teach, and be an example to children, starting at the point of infancy through adulthood, so a departure from the way will become highly unlikely. Let’s take a look at Proverbs chapter 22, verse 6 for a moment. Who would like to read Proverbs chapter 22, verse 6?

Someone who hasn’t read before. Yes, Trey.

That’s God’s strategy. As parents, all he wants you to do is train up the child in the way that they should go. That’s your responsibility as a parent. That’s what your parents are doing for you right now. They encourage you to worship. They bring you to worship with you because they understand through their life experiences that the only reason why they’re able to succeed in this life is because of God, and they want you to know the God that has provided for you all of this time. As you grow up, you may not be able to appreciate the God of heaven that doeth all things well. But through your parents, you should be able to see that, hey, my God has never let my parents down.

My God will not let me down. The things that I’ve learned has helped me to have life, has provided for me up to this point. Maybe I need to continue to trust in this God. Maybe I need to remove this from this borrowed faith to a faith of my own. This is what we learned from our parents. Now I will say this. Many of us were not fortunate enough, if you will, to be raised in a Christian home. So understand this principle.

Think about that for a moment. If you grew up and you had a father that was an alcoholic and a mother that was a prostitute, what have you learned? You’ve learned to drink away your problems and to sleep away your problems. But just because your mama was a prostitute and your daddy was an alcoholic doesn’t mean that you need to grow up to be an alcoholic prostitute. You can change. You can say, you know what? I’m not going to do this. I wasn’t raised in a Christian home, but yet I’m a gospel preacher. My sister received the same upbringing that I have. She has two children with two different last names, never been married. I am just as much the product of my upbringing, just like she is the product of her upbringing.

But what was the difference? I said, My parents got this thing wrong. There is a God in heaven. He demands faithfulness. I’m going to read this Bible and I’m going to expect something greater and different for myself. My sister looked at the same situation and said, you know what? This is all I know. This is all that has been shown to me my entire life. So I’m going to continue to do this. Mom and dad survived doing it. Why can’t I survive doing it? Bad mentality. Understand that if your parents are raising you in a Christian home, if they’re doing everything that God has commanded them to do to provide for you, then guess what? That’s God’s strategy for you. To teach you, to lead you, to feed you, to be an example to you.

So that when you get older, you make responsible and wise hearted decisions, not irresponsible and bad decisions. That’s God’s strategy. What about Satan’s strategy? Satan’s strategy is to effectively alienate and sever a parent’s relationship with their children. Because the Bible teaches us in 1 Timothy chapter 5, verse 8, that if a man provides not for his own, he’s worse than an unbeliever. That’s the devil’s plan. To separate the parents from the child. Because again, how can a child be raised if the parents don’t do it? Then guess what? The devil raises you. And the devil is real. Your parents serve as a filter to instruct you on what is right and what is wrong. And when you become a parent, you will become that filter. Because you’re not the only influence in your child’s life.

Just like your parents are not the only influence in your life. You have other influences, but you must choose which influence you’re going to be guided by.

So if you’re not going to eat all your lunch, you bring it back home. But you don’t throw away food, number one. And then number two, you don’t give your food away to somebody else. Now, I used to hate bologna sandwiches. And the more I told my mother that I hated bologna sandwiches, the more that she would fix prepare my lunch with bologna sandwiches. If I tell her on Monday, I didn’t like this sandwich, it was bologna, then she would fix me a double bologna sandwich the next day. I mean, at the end of the day, she’s going to make me eat this bologna, okay? But she always told me, Don’t you give away your food, don’t you do that? So one day I was in school and I’m looking at this sandwich, and the sandwich is looking back at me.

You know, I ate the Doritos, I drunk the grape Kool-Aid, but I’m I’m just dreading having to eat this sandwich. And the guy says, Man, you’re not gonna eat that sandwich? I’ll eat it. And I said, I can’t give away my food. Why not? I said, My mama said that I’m not supposed to give away my food. So you know what he did? He stood up, he looked around that cafeteria, did one of these numbers, and then he turned and looked at me. He said, I don’t see your mama in here. Go ahead and give me the sandwich. What she don’t know won’t hurt her. Okay. I gave away the sandwich. And my mama found out that I gave away the sandwich. Because I came home hungry.

She’s like, what you doing hungry after you done ate all that food at lunch? I said, Well, I didn’t eat. That was the end of that. From that day forward, I always ate my food. Even when I go to foreign lands, I clean my plate. I was just telling Brian at lunch, I mean, I’ve had to drink lemonade that looks, I’ve had to drink water that looked like lemonade. But guess what? If that’s the best that they have to offer, that’s what you gotta drink. Why? Because I’m not gonna waste any food. But these are all about influences. You have peers that try to influence you. You have your parents trying to influence you, you have television trying to influence you, you. You have commercials trying to influence you, you.

You have the media trying to influence you, you. You have advertisement trying to influence you. The question is, who are you going to allow yourself to be guided by? Your God-given parents? Or by everybody else that does not have your best interests in heart. Again, it’s Satan’s strategy to cause friction and strife between the parents and the child. The devil wants to create a situation that you always looking at your parents. Mom, Dad, you don’t let me do anything. I hate you. You ever heard anybody say that? Because I know y’all don’t say that to y’all parents. But you probably have friends that always say stuff, whatever, mom. Get out of my face, stop calling me. I got stuff to do. Sitting there hanging up on their own parents on a cell phone that their parents have provided for them.

This is unbelievable. But that’s Satan’s strategy. And it’s working in other people’s homes. It should not be existent in your home. And when you all have your own home, it should not be existent in that home either. See, Satan wants to take the provider out of the home in order to create a legacy of young people who will grow up with the idea of not taking responsibility. Satan wants to deny the faith, wants us to deny the faith and become worse than an unbeliever. Satan wants to neutralize us. That’s what the devil wants to do. Think about that for a moment. The devil wants to create a legacy of young people who don’t take responsibility. Look at some people that are in prison today. You know why some of them are in prison?

Because they have parents that have served prison terms. The parent wasn’t there to raise them, so they raised themselves. They allowed the streets to raise them. They allowed alcohol to raise them. They allowed their peers to raise them. Some of them join gangs because they allow these gangs to raise them. As a matter of fact, that’s how people join gangs. They take advantage of people that have single parents or no parents at all and say, you know what, man? We’ll be your family. We’ll be your family. Just kill this old lady on a cane and take her social security check. And you know what, man? We’ll be your family. And because people have that sense of family, they sit there and do these foolish things. Man, you know when you go to jail, I got your back.

Why I gotta go to jail for somebody to have my back? This is ridiculous. But this is the foolishness that people talk. This is the foolishness your peers talk when they allow themselves to be influenced by Satan and not to be influenced by God. That’s God’s strategy versus Satan’s strategy. But when you grow up to become parents, this is what you need to know about parenting. What you need to know about parenting is Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4. Who wants to read that? Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4. Who would like to read that? Somebody hasn’t read yet. Somebody who hasn’t read yet. Yes, sir. Griffin. Ephesians chapter 6 and verses 4. Do you not provoke your children to ask?

Bible says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline or nurture and instruction or ammonition of the Lord. Understand this basic rule about raising children. We have to understand that less time equals less influence. The less time you spend with your children, the less you’re going to have an influence in their lives. Don’t you know when your parents want to spend time with you? They’re not trying to cramp your style. They’re not trying to make you uncool. They’re trying to protect you so that they can have credibility with you because they know that you’re growing up. Mom, I’m going to the movies tonight. Why don’t you stay home and watch a movie with mom and dad?

Mom, I don’t want to hang out with you guys. You guys are boring. You’re old. No, they’re just trying to spend time with you. To have influence. Elijah, you want to help me with an illustration right fast? You want to help me with an illustration? You don’t want to help me with an illustration? Man, that’s being irresponsible.

Alright, Josh, help me with this illustration right fast. Stand up for a moment. I need for you to catch this, okay? Did he drop it? He caught it, right? You know why he caught it? Because error increases with distance. Go stand back there with Josh.

You can stand with that one. Catch.

He was likely to miss that. And he did. He dropped it. You know why? Because again, error increases with distance.

You can throw it back.

Plus, I got hands, he don’t. All right, you thank you very much, Josh.

But do you understand the illustration? The closer I was to him, the less likely something bad was going to happen. If I needed for him to catch this, the closer I was to him, he was going to catch it. But the further he gets away from the source, the more likely he will make a mistake and not catch that which was coming his way. To receive that which I have to give. Parenting is one of the things that you cannot do far off. You have to be up close and personal. So when your parents want to spend time with you, when they want to hold your hand, when you’re sitting down at dinner and they’re asking you about your day, it’s not because they’re trying to be nosy.

They are actually trying to take a genuine interest in your life. What goes on in your life? When your parents say, hey, listen, you know, this situation happened in school, and the teachers called and told me about it. And do you have any questions? No, I’m good. I don’t have any questions. No, I mean, do you really want to talk about this? Do you understand what happened? Do you understand why this happened? Let’s talk about it. Mom, this is embarrassing. Dad, come on. No. They want you to understand how life is so that you don’t find yourself making the same mistakes, having to deal with the same burdens that some of your peers have to deal through because of being irresponsible. So when you read Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4, we read the responsibility of a parent.

This is what your parents are trying to do for you, and they’re trying to teach you these things so that you can turn around and do this for your children. One of the most painful things that your parents will ever have to go through is if they have to grow up having raised you and then turn around and have to raise your children too. Because you were irresponsible. Because you didn’t learn in the days of your youth. So now, when they should be retiring, when they should be traveling the world, when they should be going on vacations, when they should be going to all the places they couldn’t go because they wanted to make sure that you all had the best, that they have to put these plans on hold for the next 18 years of your child’s life.

1. Raise Our Children With Fairness

Because you decided to be an irresponsible parent. Ephesians 6 4. Let’s look at the first part where the Bible says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. This means that as parents, we need to raise our children with fairness. Let’s look at the life of Jacob for a moment. Now, everything that you know about Jacob. Was he a fair parent or an unfair parent? He was what? Unfair. Who believes he was unfair? Raise your hand. Who believes he was a fair parent? Who don’t have an opinion either way? All right.

And some, depending upon which part you read, Jacob showed himself to be very unfair. He didn’t raise his children with fairness. Who gave me an example as to why you think that he was an unfair parent? Yes, sir.

Yeah. He loved one child over the other twelve. Think about that for a moment. Now, why did he love Joseph above all his other sons? Yes, ma’am. Because he was one of the people who have to be wise. Yes. So here it is. There is a legacy of unfairness going on in the life of Jacob. Jacob is showing favoritism among his children. Why? Because he showed favoritism among his wives. He only loved the children that were born from his favorite wife. But where did Jacob learn that? Because his own parents showed favoritism between him and Esau. The Bible says that Isaac loved Esau. But Rebekah loved Jacob. So when Rebekah made decisions, she made decisions that would benefit Jacob. Where Isaac made decisions, he made decisions that would benefit Esau.

So it didn’t matter whether Jacob was hurt just as long as Esau received what Isaac wanted him to receive. And Rebekah didn’t care if Esau got hurt, just as long as Jacob got what I believe is right for him. So we see this legacy of favoritism. Where did Isaac learn it from? He learned it from his father Abraham. Because guess what? Abraham had two sons, Ishmael and Isaac. And because Isaac was the child of Sarah, and Ishmael was the child of the Egyptian Hagar, and Sarah said, Listen, I don’t want Ishmael to be raved and have a part of the inheritance that belongs to my son Isaac. So he gives Hagar a bag of food and some water and throw her out on the streets, her and his own son.

Isaac wasn’t thrown out on the streets, but Ishmael was. When you see a legacy of unfairness, then you begin to see this trickle down. We have to be determined to break the cycle. We have to break that cycle. Well, Brother Holloway, it’s easier said than done because I know for a fact in my household, you know, my parents love Tanya more than they love me. This is what Krista says. That’s about right. So, I mean, here’s the thing. You know what I’m saying? If that is the case, and I know it’s not, but if that is the case, Krista has to grow up and make it up in her mind that, hey, I’m going to break the cycle. I’m going to love my children the same.

I don’t care if I have two children. I don’t care if I have 13. I have to love them all the same. But Jacob didn’t do that. Jacob loved Joseph because Joseph was the child of Rachel. And then when he thought Joseph was dead, he didn’t say, you know what, this favoritism thing is bad. What did he do? He began to love Benjamin more than he loved other boys, so that when they said, we got to bring Benjamin to Egypt, or otherwise they’re not going to feed us. But then Jacob had the mentality, I guess y’all not going to eat. Because y’all not gonna leave here with Benjamin. I’ve already lost one son. He didn’t care about the other ten. He was like, I’ve already lost one son, I’m not about to lose another.

He sent ten sons to Egypt, only nine came back. He wasn’t concerned about the one that stayed and was locked into prison until Benjamin brought back. He’s just like, I don’t care if this one got to stay locked up. I don’t care what happened to y’all, y’all not taking Benjamin. Is that fair? It’s not. The Bible teaches that we have to raise our children with fairness. Because if we don’t raise our children with fairness, then what happens? We provoke our children to anger. We provoke our children to wrath. Why did you think the ten brothers had this scheme that when they had Joseph all to themselves, they started to say, here comes that dreamer. Let’s kill him and see what happens to his dreams. They wouldn’t have never thought to kill their brother if their father wasn’t showing their brother favoritism over them.

If there was fairness, there would be no sibling rivalries. Did you know that? If your mom and dad love you just like they love your brother and sister and treat you all the same, what they do for one, they do for the other.

Yeah, you all are going to always have your disagreements, but at the end of the day, not one time where you all have an argument. I hate you. I’m sick and tired of mom and dad loving you more than they love me. They do for you, they don’t do for me. This is how you provoke your children to wrath when you show favoritism. To provoke means to anger, to enrage, to stir up, to arouse, to call for, to incite, to stimulate to action, to give rise to, to induce, to bring about. We provoke our children to anger when we show favoritism against them. We provoke our children to anger when we discourage them. We provoke our children to anger when we neglect them. We provoke our children to anger when we use bitter words and outright physical cruelty.

We do understand that sometimes as children, we do get out of line. And at times we need to be disciplined. Always try instructive discipline first before you have to give out punitive discipline. And there is such a thing as abuse. Don’t abuse your children. This is not something you do.

You know, in the DC area, you know, one of the most popular jobs where I live is that of social work. You know why? Because a kid is able to walk to school one day healthy, come to school the next day with a broken arm. And their arm was broken by a parent. And the reason why their arm was broken by the parent is because the father said, you’re standing in front of the TV, and because the child didn’t move fast enough, they got to spend the night in an emergency room. Now, how do you think that child is going to grow up if that child never gets a relationship with Jesus? He’s going to feel that the way you solve problems is just to break people’s arms, to answer problems and to answer conflict with his hands and with his fist rather than with words and intellect and conversation.

This is how you provoke children. When you show favoritism.

2. Raise Our Children in Tenderness

What that simply means is that not only do we have to raise our children with fairness, but we must raise our children in tenderness, tenderness. See, to nurture means to feed and protect, to nurture means to support and encourage, as during the period of training or development, it means to foster. See, to nurture means to bring up, to train, to educate. This is what it means to nurture. We’re not supposed to discourage our children. We’re supposed to encourage our children. If you ever had a dream or an ambition that you wanted to engage in.

Are you looking for an encouraging response or a discouraging response? I would think that you all are looking for an encouraging response. If there’s something that you want to do, you’re looking for an encouraging response. And don’t you know, as parents, when you have children, they’re going to want to do a lot of things that are not right. They’re going to want to do a lot of things that if they were a little wiser and a little bit more responsible, then they would be thinking to do things in a different direction. But as a parent, you have the difficult task of being an encourager and providing wise counsel against something all at the same time.

Think about some of the things your preacher has to go through at this congregation when members. Come up with ideas of things that they want to do, to reach out to the Lord, to reach out the laws for Jesus, to make the worship services more involved. You know, to make them fun and entertaining. And at the same breath, they have to not only nurture, but maybe also have to admonish. That’s a skill. That if God didn’t think you had the ability to do it, he would not have blessed you with children in the first place. Don’t you know that your parents are your parents? Because God believed that they were the most qualified to raise you. We have to get out of this mentality. I wish your parents were my parents.

They couldn’t handle you. But your parents can. And that’s why you’re their child. And even when you become a parent, don’t have the ambition or the idea to say, wow, I wish my kids acted like those children over there. I wish that you were my child. Yeah, you will provoke your children to wrath, just like that. We have to raise our children with tenderness. Think about what the psalmist says in Psalm 103, verse 13. In Psalm 103, verse 13, the Bible reads, as a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. As parents, we must listen to our children. We must respect their failings. As parents, if we have been wrong or too harsh with them, we must grow up, clearly confess our wrongdoing and ask forgiveness.

We must encourage our children often. Have your parents ever done something and then come back later and said, you know what? I really messed up on that. I’m sorry.

What does that teach you about parenting? Your parents are not right all the time, but guess what? They’re right most of the time. And don’t you know that when you become parents, you’re not going to be right all the time. You’re going to make some mistakes. But you must be the adult. You must learn to say, you know what? I am sorry. Sit your child down, your son, your daughter, and said, you know what? I know what I said, and I handled that situation wrong. I’m sorry. I apologize. I’ll make it up to you. We have to be honest. We have to be open. This is what we’re talking about in regards to tenderness. But not only that, the Bible says, not only do we have to bring our children up in nurture, but we have to also bring them up in admonition.

3. Raise Our Children With Firmness

Which means as parents, we must raise our children with firmness. Don’t you know, as a parent, there’s not one scripture in the Bible that says God commands you to be your child’s friend? You ever hear people at some people at your school saying, Yeah, you know, you know, my mom and I, we’re best friends. If I’m your friend, I’m not your parent. If God wanted us to be friends, then he wouldn’t have never had you to become my child, and I would never be your father. You know, I have two beautiful girls, and guess what? I have no intentions on being their friend. I’m their father. One day I hope to be their brother in Christ. But we can’t be friends. They’re my child. I have a responsibility to be firm with them.

Oftentimes, as friends, you’re not firm with your friends. Your friends say stuff, and you’d be like, Yeah, dog, you know what I’m saying? I hear you, you know what I’m saying? When you know that they’re about to make a decision that’s going to ruin their lives. You know, there’s a commercial on television in regards to this little girl who, actually, when she was a little girl, she says, Ooh, Daddy, can I have a puppy? And he goes, Yeah. And then she grows up a little more. And she says, Ooh, Daddy, can I have this candy bar? And he goes, Of course, sweetheart. And then she grows up again and says, Ooh, Daddy, can I watch this movie? And he says, Well, okay. And they go to the movies.

And then in the fourth scene, she goes, hey, Dad, we’re having a party. Can you buy us some beer? And he says, absolutely not. And then the girl says, Daddy, I hate you. You never let me have anything. He wasn’t trying to be his daughter’s friend. There was no harm in her having a puppy or that candy bar or watching that movie. But to sit there and get drunk, drink alcohol, he stepped in with firmness because he recognized that that was his responsibility as a parent. Not to be his daughter’s friend, not to try to be cool. Even though she was laying it on thick. Dad, if you would let us do this, you know I would love you. Listen, okay. As parents, you raise your children for the first 18 years of their life.

Y’all negotiate whether y’all are going to be taken care of over the next five years while they go and get their education or save money to get a home. But then after that, all you’re really hoping for is that when you get older, that they return to favor because sooner or later you would need your children to take care of you. You do the best you can. Just like your parents are doing the best they can with you. So just because your parents have denied you something, they’re doing that for your protection. They’re doing that for your good. You may not understand it now, but keep on living. And you’ll understand it better by and by.

Because the Bible said so. See, to admonish means to caution, to advise or counsel against something. How many times have we gone to our parents and said, you know, I want to do this? And your parents says, I’m sorry, we can’t. You can’t do that. I appreciate you coming to me, though, but I can’t allow you to do that. You won’t let me do anything. You’re so mean. Becky’s parents are allowing her to go. You know, John’s parents says that it was okay with them. Well, you don’t have John’s parents as your parents. I’m your parent. I said no. Sometimes they want to sit down and they want to talk to you. Sometimes you don’t want to listen. Listen. Maybe if you understand their reasoning as to why they don’t want you to do certain things, and then all of a sudden stop using the example of, well, you’re trying to protect me from something.

Listen, I’m not like that. I’m not going to do that. Yeah, that may be your resolve. That may be your position now. But peer pressure is very powerful. Don’t you know growing up, I didn’t know how to swim. And one day I got invited to a pool party. And my mama told me it was okay for me to go. Just don’t get in the pool. All right, not a problem. I’m going. Soon as I got to the pool, my dad drives up and he grabs me and says, Son, it’s time to go. I said, I just got here. Get in the car. Okay. So I got in the car. I said, Dad, why you pick me up? He says, Because you were going to get in the pool.

I said, I didn’t get in the pool. I told you I wasn’t. He said, That’s what you said. But I know you’re going to get in the pool. Okay. Now, whether I got in the pool or not, I don’t know if I would have. I don’t know. I probably would have thought about it after being there for about an hour, probably would have put my foot in, then probably would have jumped in. But the thing was that my dad understood that, boy, you can’t swim. And nobody at that pool party loves you. And if you fall in, you know what I’m saying? Who’s willing to risk their life to save you when you’re not their child? My dad never taught me how to swim. Why? Because he didn’t know how to swim.

So he didn’t want me getting near water at all. My dad was so petrified of water, I was shocked that I learned how to take baths and showers growing up. Because that involves water. But guess what? I mean, he would not let me get near water. Didn’t want anything bad to happen to me. Well, as I grew up, I understood his reasoning. It didn’t make sense to me when I was 11. It didn’t make sense to me when I was 12. Because for that whole time, from the time I was 12 to the time that I had children of my own, I always told that story and said, I wasn’t going to get in that water. But now I got children. And because I got children, I know how children think.

I used to be a child. You tell your parents one thing, you look around, you do something else, and if you can get away with it one time, you make a habit of doing it until you finally get caught. If you want to dance to music, you’re going to have to pay the piper. You’re going to have to either pay them now, you’re going to have to pay them later, but you can’t dance for free. It don’t work that way. You reap what you sow. If you plant a seed of sin, it’s going to grow. It may not grow that day. It may not grow the next day. But there will be consequences for every wrong that you do. So this is why your parents raise you with firmness to keep you from making those mistakes.

And as young people, one day you’re going to become parents. Of course, you’re going to want your children to like you. There isn’t a person in here that wants their children to hate them. I don’t want my children to hate me. But I want my children to live. I want them to have a good quality of life.

And if that requires that I say no a lot, and that requires that I always have to sit down and provide wise counsel, then that’s what I do because this is what parents do for the children that they love. Isn’t this what God does for us? God wants us to love him. He desires that we love him, but he desires that we live first and foremost. That we’re able to tell the story. Think about this for a moment. Romans chapter 2, verse 4. The Bible reads, oh, do you not know that the forbearance of God is designed to lead us to repentance? You woke up this morning and came to a place of worship to study God’s word with people of like precious faith. But don’t you know that your neighbor, who may not be living a righteous life, who may not be a Christian, they got up too?

And they got up to go to some dance or to some party or to do something very immoral. Why does God allow this person to live just like he allows you to live? Because people can’t repent in the grave. People can’t get their life right in the grave. You know the story in Luke chapter 16 about the rich man and Lazarus. The rich man died and was buried. Lazarus died also, was carried off into Abraham’s bosom. And then what do we read about the rich man? Rich man says, Father Abraham, please send Lazarus. He wasn’t talking about prayer when he was alive, but now since he’s dead, he wish he could pray. But it’s too late to pray. He had his chance. It’s over. He’s dead now.

All of a sudden, the rich man is concerned about having his needs met. He didn’t want to meet Lazarus’ needs when Lazarus was alive. Now they’re dead, and now he’s suffering. What goes around comes around. And there’sn’t a thing he can do about it. You know why? Because he’s dead. Rich man is all of a sudden concerned about his family. He was only concerned about himself on earth. But now, since he’s dead, now since he’s in Tatarus, he’s now said, please send Lazarus to my father’s house because I got some brothers that need to hear the word of God. Now all of a sudden he wants to be evangelistic. He wants to be a soul winner. But who can he bring to Christ now? Since he’s dead.

So God wakes you up, he wakes everybody else up. Why? Because he gives us one more day to make things right with him. And you have to listen to the instructions of your parents, which increases your likelihood of being able to see another day. Don’t stop looking at your parents saying, My parents just, they just talk just to be talking. They always got something to say. Look both ways before you cross the street. You know why they tell you that? Because if you don’t, you’re going to get smacked by a car. They don’t talk for their health. You know, when you come home, do you have homework? Before you watch TV, do all your homework. Your parents are not trying to cut out your fund. They want you to learn these assignments so that when you grow up, you’re not making mistakes with money, that you know how to read your own contracts.

It is so embarrassing that we have a system today that if you know how to throw a ball or run real fast or can hit somebody really hard or put the ball in the hoop that they don’t care if you know how to read or not, just as long as you can make somebody else money. Anybody ever heard of a man by the name of Moses Malone? Moses Malone was the first high school player to go to the NBA in the 70s. The 70s, that’s long before any of us was born. Moses Malone was 6’11 and was drafted by the Philadelphia 76ers. Signed a $1 million contract, the first person in the NBA to make over a million dollars to play basketball. But that’s all Moses Malone could do.

You know why? Because Moses Malone couldn’t read. So he was dependent upon other educated people to make decisions for him. So if somebody told him to sign this because the contract says ABC, he had no way of knowing whether they were telling him the truth or a lie. You know why? Because he couldn’t read. People can take advantage of you. Your parents don’t want people to take advantage of you. That’s why they are strict. That’s why they instruct you. Do your homework. Do you understand this? Stop just putting answers on a piece of paper. Do the work. Get it right. Learn how to read. Learn how to count. It’s embarrassing when I go to Smoothie King, okay? And I ask for a smoothie. I ask for a small pineapple surf, no kiwisa banana.

And the smoothie comes up to $4.97. So I give the lady at the cash register $5.07. How much money is she supposed to give me back? How much? 10 cents. Don’t you know the lady at the register don’t know to do that? She gives me back the seven cents. No, it’s only $4.97. I say, okay, well, here’s seven cents. I just need my change back. And then she gives me the change back, and then she’s all confused. She don’t know what to do because she put in $5 is telling you supposed to give me three cents back, but she doesn’t know she’s supposed to give me a dime. So she’s all confused. She got to call a manager and stuff like that because she don’t know how to count.

4. Raise Our Children in Christ

And we laugh, and guess what? Half of the people that operate cash registers don’t know that. Some of them have been fired because they’ve given people too much change back. I don’t know how my drawer came up $5 short. Because you didn’t know the difference between $5 and $1. Because your parents weren’t firm with you. They’re trying to teach you skills so that you could be profitable in this life. And your parents are trying to teach you skills that you not only be profitable in this life, but that you can also spend eternity with God in the next. This brings us to our fourth point where it says that we need to raise our children in the nurture and the admonition. But get this now of the Lord.

We need to raise our children in Christ. Your parents are trying to raise you in Christ to teach you to have a relationship with Him. And I want us to read two verses. Actually, just one verse. Genesis chapter 18, verse 19.

Listen to what God says about Abraham. Genesis chapter 18, verse 19. Who would like to read that? Someone who has not read. Okay, Caleb.

Yes, sir. For I know that we command his children and they also keep the word of the Lord with me.

Abraham Eli. Understand that this is God’s testimony of Abraham. He says, I know Abraham. I know Abraham is going to command his children. He’s going to command his household in the ways of the Lord. God should be able to say that about your parents today. And when you all become parents, God should be able to have the same testimony about you. I know Chris. I know John. I know Becky. I know Shakwita, that they’re going to raise their children in the way of the Lord. I know that about them. I know that about them. You should always instruct your children, just like your parents are instructing you today. We have to raise our children with tenderness, with fairness, with firmness, and we must do it in Christ.

Over the past three lessons, do anybody have any questions or comments at this time for me? Yes, sir. Well, thank you very much, Chris. Did you hear what he says? He says he likes my sermons. God bless you, son.

Anyone else? Yes, ma’am. Rachel was barren before your children died. That is correct. Yep, she was barren. The question was was Rachel barren before she had children. What happened was is that God saw that Rachel was loved, but Leah was hated. So God opened up Leah’s womb for her to have children, and then he made Rachel barren. Because he was trying to get Jacob to take responsibility. This favoritism, God does not like.

Yes, sir. No, sir. No, ma’am. Yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, ma’am. Seven! Seven!

Leah had seven. Okay. How many children did Leah’s handmaiden have? Yes, ma’am. Very good. How many children did Rachel’s handmaiden have? Yes. No, sir. He was confident, too. Thirteen. Yes, ma’am. Two. Very good. How many children did Rachel have? Yes, sir. Two. Very good. There was 13 children total. Rachel and Rachel had two. Her handmaiden had two, that’s four. Leah’s handmaiden had two, that’s six. Leah had seven. Now, what was the breakup? Of the children. How many boys? How many girls did Leah have? Yes, ma’am. Huh? Never mind. Okay. All right. Yes, sir. Six boys and one girl. Six boys and one girl. Very good. What was the girl’s name? Dinah. Dinah. Very good. Very good. Outstanding. You do your homework.

All right. Anyone has any questions or comments? Yet again, I like the two of you. Well, thank you very much. Yes, sir. Do you know how Rachel died? How Rachel died? Well, guess what? I think somebody else in here can answer that question. How did Rachel die? Yes, sir.

How did Rachel die? Her heart stopped beating. She gave up the ghost. Okay, you know all these answers. All right. Alright. It’s in the Bible. Who can tell us how she died? Yes, ma’am.

Giving birth to Benjamin. That’s how she died. Now, what did she want Benjamin named?

No, ma’am. That was the name Jacob gave him. But what was the name that Rachel gave him? Yes, ma’am. Jacob? No, ma’am.

How about the Jacob? I hear some people trying to flip and find it. That’s good. That’s fine. That’s good. If you find the death of Rachel, then you’ll be able to know the name she called him. Yes. Ben Hani. Beyonne, that’s right. Beyoni, that’s right. I can’t find it. You can’t find it? Keep looking, it’s in there. It’s in between Genesis 25 and Genesis 50. You’ll find it.

Yeah. Very fun. So he was just like, oh, Beyoni. That sounds like Benjamin. We’re gonna call him Benjamin. No. Hmm? Didn’t he realize it’s that? What did the book say?

Yeah, that’s that’s all. That’s it. Yeah. Can it have a reason out of his mind? Doesn’t know the reason. But understand that names have a meaning. For example, what does Jacob’s name mean? I gave you three answers on yesterday. Yes, sir. Huh? Deceived. That’s right. The word name Jacob means deceiver. Did you know that? Oh, I got it. Oh, there’s somebody in your name Jacob?

The name Jacob, the name Jacob means deceiver, it means supplantter. Why would he name Jacob? What happened at his birth that the mother named him Jacob? Yes.

Yeah. So here it is. Esau is being born, and then Jacob has got a hold of his ankle as he’s coming out of his mother’s womb. In other words, trying to pull him back. Supplana. Yeah, Esau, get back here. You know what I’m saying? I will have the birthright, you know. All right, let me ask another question. Okay. Who is Jacob’s grandfather? Yes, Trey. Abraham. Very good. Very good. Very good. Let me ask another question. Who can give me the books of the Old Testament? Uh oh. Uh-oh, this is a new hand. Let’s see if she got it what it takes. Old Testament. Old Testament. I have an all here.

Very good. Very good. Now, how many books are in the old testament? Thirty-five nine. Nope. Uh-uh-uh uh, what’s the answer? Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. Yes. How much? No, ma’am. Yes, sir. Thirty-nine. Thirty-nine. Thirty-nine books in the old testament. Very good. Very good. Now here’s another question. Maybe you know the answer, maybe you don’t. The old testament is divided into four categories. What are they? Do do do. Yes, sir.

Minor prophets have three.

He got three out of the four.

There’s a whole important section. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Okay. Very good. Very good. You got the law, the books of law. The books of history. The books of poetry. The books of prophecy. Here’s another question for you. How many books of law are there? Yes, sir. Five. That’s very good. Very good. How many books of history? One. No, sir. No. Yes, sir. Close. Yes, ma’am. Twelve. Very good. Five books of law, twelve books of history. How many books of poetry in the Old Testament? Yes, sir. Five. Very good. How many books of prophecy in the old testament? Well, you say all. What’s left over? That’s your answer.

Whatever we didn’t name, you know. How many books of prophecy?

Yes, sir. Seventeen. Very good. How many books of major prophets? Yes. Yes. Five. So that means how many books of minor prophets? Twelve. Very good. Very good. Five, twelve, five, five, twelve. That’s your old testament. All right. New Testament. How many books are in the New Testament? Yes, ma’am. Twenty-seven. Very good. Very good. All right. Who can give me the books of the New Testament? Yes, ma’am. Matthew Mark includes John. Acts, Romans, first and second, Christine, Galatians, 15.

Titus, believe in Hebrews, James, first and second Peter, first and second and third of John after the Revelation. Very good. Very good. What are the divisions in the New Testament? Now, Logic, do you really know? You really know.

Alright, let’s hear your hypothesis. Let’s go. Okay.

That’s incorrect. What are the divisions in the New Testament?

Yes, sir. Uh-huh.

Alright, what is Acts considered? History book. That’s right. So you have the gospel. History. Letters. Prophecy. What’s the book of history in the New Testament? Yes, sir. Book of Acts. Very good. What’s the book of prophecy in the New Testament? Yes, ma’am. Revelation. Very good. What are the gospel accounts? How many books? Four. Very good. Can you name them? Matthew Bob, Book of John. Very good. Very good. There’s two divisions for the letters in the New Testament. Who can give them to me? Two divisions of the letters in the New Testament. Yes, ma’am. Okay.

Okay, letters and epistles are the same thing, but they’re divided into two categories. What are those categories? Yes, sir. I don’t wonder if I just wondering what is it called? Yep, letters of Paul or Pauline letters, which means the other ones are called what? Yes, sir. The letters that are not from Paul, okay. You have the Pauline epistles and you have the general epistles, okay? That means that all the letters were written by Paul unless they were written by somebody else. Who can give me one book not written by the Apostle Paul that’s a letter? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Peter. Okay. First and second Peter. It was written by who? Peter. Huh? Peter, very good. What else? Yes, ma’am. No. Timothy was written by Paul to Timothy.

Yes, sir. Yep, first, second, and third, John. Written by who?

John, okay. John, who? Who was John?

John was one of the apostles. Very good. Are those the only three books that John wrote? No. Revelation. He wrote Revelation. What else did John write? Yes, sir. No. Yes. He wrote the book of John, the Gospel of John. Very good. So John wrote a total of how many books in the New Testament? Five. Very good. Very good. What else is another general epistle in the New Testament? Yes, sir, Jake. Hebrews. Hebrews. Very debated one. Some think Paul wrote it, some think he didn’t write it, so it’s classified as a general epistle. Very good. What else? Yes, ma’am. No, Paul wrote the letters to the Corinthians. Another general epistle. One that wasn’t written by Paul. Yes, ma’am. Oh, the letter was James. James. Very good. Now who was James?

Yes. The brother of Peter. No. But he was the brother of somebody. Yes, Caleb. The brother of Jesus. Very good. Very good. There’s one more general epistle. Yes, ma’am. Jude, very good. Who was Jude? Yes, ma’am.

Yes, the brother. Well, well, it was the brother of James, that’s right. Which also makes him what? Very good. Very good. Outstanding. Outstanding. Learn these things. Know these things. Very important. They’ll benefit you in your life. Any other questions or comments before we dismiss? I have two things.

Okay. First of all, we’ll get to your question next, okay? Yes, ma’am. Um, I found the name of like the meetings of Ben and I was going to be able to do that. Okay. Okay, so Ben One East is literally the back of my sorrow. Yes, ma’am.

That’s right. Very good. Very good. Names mean something, so don’t you know as a parent of your responsibility? You gotta be careful how you name your children. Do you know anybody at your school named Jezebel? I mean, do you? I mean, I’m just asking. You know a child named Jezebel?

Wow. Amazing. Child named Jezebel.

Yeah, Delilah, yep. And people named Delilah, yes, sir.

Yes, sir. In our class, do we remember all the um uh New Testament books?

Yeah. We had to hang them on a song to have a song.

Conclusion

Yep. Don’t care how you learn them, just learn them. Well, I thank everybody for your time and attention on today. I’ve really enjoyed being with you on today. I hope and pray that you did learn something uh from these lessons. If you have any questions or comments, I’m available this entire weekend. And if not, you do have parents, talk to them. You do have elders, talk to them. You do know preachers, talk to them. You do know trusted adults that love the Lord, talk to them, and I’m pretty sure that they will tell you the same information because it all comes from God’s word. All right. At this time we’re going to be dismissed with a closing prayer. And there’s a gentleman sitting in the back with a red shirt.

What’s your name? Alex. Alex. Alex, can you close us out with a word of prayer, please?

If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I can call on somebody else. There’s no pressure. Huh? No thanks. Okay, that’s fine. That’s fine. Is there a Jacob sitting in front of you? No thanks. All right. Well, then I gotta I gotta call on somebody that won’t say no. All right, let’s see who I can do. There’s a Jacob here.

There’s a gentleman sitting in front of Josh. Can you lead us with a closing prayer, please? In your name. Cody. Thank you very much, Cody. Let us go to God in prayer as we stand and dismiss.