The Way They Should Go Requires Radical Parenting

Introduction

Imagine be turning in your Bibles to the Old Testament to 2 Samuel. I’m sorry, 2 Kings chapter 10. 2 Kings chapter 10. You may wish to mark there and even turn over to Jeremiah 35 after that if you have markers and you want to place those. Because our primary texts this morning are going to be 2 Kings chapter 10 and Jeremiah chapter 35. And you know you’re in for a treat on a Sunday morning when your primary text are two obscure Old Testament passages that most of us had never read or maybe even thought about much. But in reading these this week, I tell you, there’s a fascinating lesson here. Our theme for this month has been parenting 226. It’s a cute title, we admit, but it’s the idea of we don’t have classes for parenting in school.

But the Bible is our teacher. God is our teacher. And of course, parenting 226 is simply taken from Proverbs 22 and in verse 6. And we’re going to train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it. The idea that we’ve been focusing on this month, even when Brother Bowman was with us at the beginning of the month, and then myself and Brother Harkwright are in preaching lessons about family and parenting is that there is a way that they should go. There is a way a child should go. Now, of course, the wise man of the Proverbs doesn’t define that way in this verse anyway. When we think about the way they should go, perhaps the passage does come to mind, even the words of our Lord Himself, and speaking of that, there are really only two options.

There’s the way to life, and there are many who enter through it, for the gate is small, and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it. Two weeks ago, we talked about the way they should not go, and helping our children not choose that path. And then last week, our brother Harkwriter spoke to us about the way they should go and how we can help our children follow after the Lord, and setting that example of service to God in their lives. We want to conclude our series for the month with this idea that really, when it comes to the way they should go, it’s going to require some radical things on our part. It’s going to require some radical parenting.

1. Jonadab Was a Man of Faith and Courage

And the two passages that I gave you, 2 Kings chapter 10, and then Jeremiah chapter 35, are just an example of that. Radical parenting on the behalf of a man named Jonadab. So we’re going to go back to 2 Kings chapter 10 with me. And we’re going to read and we’re going to talk about Jonadab. Now you may not know who Jonadab is. I didn’t really know who Jonadab was until this week. I had read about Jonadab, but it’s one of those figures that just kind of comes in your mind. You read this chapter, and it’s like, oh, that’s nice. That’s Jonadab. And you move on. You never think about Jonadab again. Well, Jonadab was a man of faith and courage. And Jonadab’s faith and courage meant something for his life, and it meant something for future generations as well.

To understand about Jonadab, when you understand the circumstances in which he lived, Ahab and Jezebel had ruined Israel. Of course, Jeroboam had started that path in the northern kingdom of Israel by instituting the two golden calves, which Israel sinned with, idolatry, and departing from the ways of God. But 1 Kings 16, 31 through 33 says this about Ahab and Jezebel. And it came about as though it had been a trivial thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam, the son of Nibat, that he married Jezebel, the daughter of Ethbaal, king of the Sidonians, and went to serve Baal and worshipped him. And so he erected an altar for Baal in the house of Baal, which he built in Samaria. Ahab also made the Asherah.

Thus Ahab did more to provoke the Lord God of Israel than all the kings of Israel who were before him. And when we come to the time of Jonadab in 2 Kings chapter 10, it is Ahab’s son that was reigning in Israel, with his mother still being queen. And it was another grandson of Ahab that was ruling in the southern kingdom of Judah. And they continue to depart and to turn away from God. In fact, earlier in the ninth chapter, God had commissioned Elisha to go and anoint a man named Jehu. And Jehu was given this commission. You go and you utterly destroy the household of Baal, the household of Ahab. And he does that. He slays Ahab’s son who is ruling in Israel. He slays Ahab’s grandson who is ruling in Judah.

He slays Jezebel. He slays seventy other of Ahab’s sons. He slays forty-two relationships of Ahaziah, who is king of Judah. He destroys the family of Ahab. And it’s in that connection that we meet Jonadab in the tenth chapter of 2 Kings. 2 Kings chapter 10, beginning in verse 15, we read that when he, that is Jehu, departed from there, he met Jehanadab, he’s also known as Jonadab, the son of Rechob, coming to meet him. And he greeted him and said to him, Is your heart right as my heart is with your heart? And Jonadab answered, It is. Jehu said, If it is, give me your hand. And he gave him his hand, and he took him up into the chariot, and he said, Come with me and see my zeal for the Lord.

So he made him ride in his chariot. When he came to Samaria, he killed all who remained to Ahab in Samaria until he had destroyed him, according to the word of the Lord which he spoke to Elijah. But that’s not enough. The text goes on to talk about how Jehu was determined to eliminate Baal worship in Israel. And with Jonab as his helper, they set out a plan to do so. They send out messengers throughout all of Israel and say, Let all the priests of Baal and all the worshippers of Baal come and we will make sacrifices and hold a feast to Baal. And so they go into the sanctuary that was erected to Baal, and all the priests and all the worshippers of Baal have come.

And Jehu and Jonadab, they go in among them, and they ask, Are there any worshippers of the Lord in here? We don’t want those kinds of people here. Just make sure you’re all worshippers of Baal. And they said, Oh, yeah, yeah, Baal’s king. Baal’s great. And so Jehu and Jonadab say, We’ll go out and we’ll offer sacrifices. But Jehu had stationed eighty men outside of that sanctuary. And when he went outside, he told those eighty men, let none escape alive. And so Jehu, with the help of Jonadab, had destroyed the Baal worshippers in Israel at that time. Now that’s all is said about Jonadab. That’s in about 842 B.C. Fast forward 250 years. We come to the time of Jeroboam the prophet. It’s in about 600 B.C.

2. The Descendants of Jonadab Obeyed Their Father

So again, about 250 years, not quite. And again, now we’re in the southern kingdom of Judah, and the situation is dire. Jehoiakim is the king of Judah, and he was an unfaithful man. 2 Kings 24 and verses 1 through 4 says that in his days, King of Babylon came up, and Jehoiakim became his servant for three years. Then he turned and rebelled against him. The Lord sent against him bands of Chaldeans, bands of Arameans, bands of Moabites, and bands of Ammonites. So he sent them against Judah to destroy it, according to the word of the Lord which he had spoken through his servants the prophets. Surely at the command of the Lord it came upon Judah to remove them from his sight, because the sins of Manasseh, according to all that he had done, and also for the innocent blood which he shed, for he filled Jerusalem with innocent blood, and the Lord would not forgive.

This is a picture of God’s judgment coming upon the southern kingdom because they had utterly turned away from God. And Jeremiah is prophesying at that time. You come to Jeremiah chapter 35. And Jeremiah was given this instruction by God.

So here the text says, gather all the house of the Rechabites and bring them into the temple. And Jeremiah is supposed to give them a test. The Lord says to them, set wine before them. And tell them to drink. Well, what’s the big deal? Read with me what the descendants of Jonadab say to Jeremiah. Verse 6 They said, We will not drink wine. For Jonadab, the son of Rechob, our father, commanded us, saying, You shall not drink wine, you or your sons forever. You shall not build a house, and you shall not sow seed, and you shall not plant a vineyard or own one. But in tents you shall dwell all your days, that you may live many days in the land where you sojourn. We have obeyed the voice of Jonadab, the son of Rachab, our father, and all that he commanded us not to drink wine all our days.

We, our wives, our sons or our daughters, nor to build ourselves houses to dwell in. And we do not have vineyard or field or seed. We only dwell in tents, and have obeyed and have done according to all that Jonadab our father commanded us. But, they say in verse 11, when Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came up against the land, we said, Come and let us go to Jerusalem before the army of the Chaldeans, before the army of the Arameans, so we have dwelt in Jerusalem. If you’re wondering, well, why are they living in Jerusalem when they have said, We’ll not dwell in houses, we’ll only live in tents? They’re saying, it was only when the situation became this dire. When the Babylonians have come against us and they have swarmed to the land, we were forced to go to Jerusalem.

And that is where we’re living now. But they say, for all these many years, and again, 250 years since the time of Jonadab, we have done nothing but live in our tents. We have not cultivated any fields, we have not planted any vineyards, we have not drunk any wine.

3. Jonadab Went to Radical Measures

What are we to take from this story of Jonadab and his descendants? A lot. When did Jonadab give that command? We’re not told. But it was sometime during his life. What typified society in the days of Jonadab? Wickedness. Forsaking the Lord. Serving the Baals. And this may in fact be why he commanded his descendants not to live in the cities. Baal was the god of the storm in Canaanite culture. And if you were to live in the cities and plant your fields and plant your vineyards, and you would constantly be looking to the sky, wondering, when’s the rain going to come? And of course, a true person of the faith would have believed in God and would have known the Lord would supply what they needed.

But the Israelites were tempted time and time again to turn away from God. And they worship the Baals, praying to the God of the storm, send us rain. I think Jonadab looks at that and says, I’m getting my family away from that. They’re not going to be living in these houses, they’re not going to be planting fields, they’re not going to be planting vineyards. They’re not going to be tempted to turn to Baal when Jehovah God is God alone. And so he went to radical measures. He says, Alright, get out. We’re getting out of the cities. We’re not planting the fields. We’re not planting the vineyards. We’ll live in tents. We’ll go back to the ways that our ancestors lived, even in the days of the wilderness wanderings.

And we’ll be nomads. We’ll go back to the days of Abraham and how he lived, a wanderer in the land of Canaan. We’ll not be a part of this wicked and corrupt culture. He left it. He did whatever it took to get his family out of the world. And of course, in doing so, he was setting an example himself of living radically. You know, Jonadab can’t say to his sons, Alright, you guys, don’t drink any wine, but pass me the cup if you don’t mind. It’s all right for Dad. Let Dad have something. But you don’t, nope, nope, nope. Don’t you take any of it. I’m going to drink this, but not you. And you guys go out and live in your tents. I’m going to stay right here in the city where I’m comfortable.

You know Jonadab wouldn’t do that. Jonadab’s out there living in the tents with them. In fact, where does Jehu meet John Dab? Not in the city. He just happens upon Jonadab living out there in the country somewhere. He’s living radically. If you wonder how radical he’s willing to go, well then 2 Kings 10 tells you. Join Jehu. Go fight against the king. Go fight against the king’s people. Go slay all the Baal worshippers. Are you that radical? Jonathan was. So he set that example of following God before his descendant. Of course, his ways were followed. We’ve noted already that for 250 years, his descendants had been living in the tents. They had not been living in cities. And again, Jeremiah 35 and verse 11, they’ve only now come to Jerusalem because the Babylonians have swarmed the land.

They’ve been left with no other choice, really. But there’s a reason why Jonadab’s ways were followed. Rarely do we follow commands unless we see the value of those commands. Rarely do we do what those in authority say we ought to do unless we see that there are benefits and blessings to doing what those above us have said. The descendants of Jonadab recognized that by following his ways, we will in fact receive the blessing that Jonadab, our father, said. Do you remember what he said?

Yes, I’m sorry, at the end of verse 7. When he said that you are to live in your tents, you shall dwell all your days, that you may live many days in the land where you sojourn. When Jodab sent the command out there, he didn’t just say, All right, guys, here’s the law. Let me lay it down for you. Don’t drink the wine, don’t live in the cities. Why, Dad? Well, we all know there’s a time when we say, just do it because I said to. There is a time for that. But Jonadab said, this is for your future well-being. This is so that you can live many days in this land. And so they did. They followed him. And of course, the next point would simply be his means were effective.

Jadab lived in the northern kingdom of Israel. His followers had lived, his descendants had lived in the northern kingdom of Israel. That kingdom ceased to exist in 720. 720 BC, the Assyrians come in, they wipe out Israel, they take them captive. Not Jonadab’s descendants. They weren’t living in the cities. They were out there living as nomads. When the Assyrians come into the land, it’s no problem for Johnadab’s descendants just to pack up and move and go down to Judah. Jonathan had been looking out for their well-being. He said, You live this way. You can live many days in the land. And they had. They had been spared what had happened to Israel in the north. They were still living. They were still thriving. They were still a family.

And so it’s no wonder that Jonadab’s ways were blessed by God. Going back to Jeremiah chapter 35, and we’ll skip to the end of the chapter in verses 18 and 19. Note what Jeremiah says of the Rechabites. Then Jeremiah said to the house of the Rechabites, thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, because you have obeyed the command of Jonadab, your father, kept all his commands, and done according to all that he commanded you. Therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel. Jonadab, the son of Rakhab, shall not lack a man to stand before me always. Again, we don’t read about this family again. We are left with this statement about Jonadab’s family. Because you followed him, because you obeyed him, this man, this father, who had your interest at heart.

4. If We’re Going to Parent Radically, Wake Up

You are blessed in my eyes. Jonadab will not like a man to stand before me. In other words, this family’s not going to be destroyed. The rest of the families were. Babylonians were going to come. They’re going to bring the vengeance of God on Judah. Not the family of Jonadab. They would be spared. Are you beginning to formulate some lessons from Jonathan? Beginning to see what it means to parent radically. Well, let’s just think about three things, and the lesson will be yours. If we’re going to parent radically like Jonadab parented, then we’ve got to wake up. Jonathan saw the society around him. He knew what this society was producing. He looked at what Ahab and Jezebel, and it wasn’t just Ahab and Jezebel, Israel had been departing from God from the very beginning.

But now with Ahab and Jezebel had just reached another level, and he looked out and he saw it. And he said, I don’t want my family a part of that. And so he went to a radical measure. Took them out of the cities. Took them away from the best things of the land and says, We’ll live as nomads. Brethren, if we’re not fully aware of just how dangerous our world is for our children, then we won’t parent radically.

The Bible doesn’t give a dress code. And you’re right. The Bible does not give a dress code. It does emphasize modesty, though. It does emphasize what God looks on and looks and what God is wanting out of us. Sadly, our prison system understands this better than many of us. If you’re to go on to the BOP.gov website, that is the Department of Prisons, Bureau of Prisons, I should say. There will be found there a list of articles of clothing that you cannot wear when you would go and visit an inmate. They include revealing shorts, sundresses, halter tops, bathing suits, see-through garments of any type, low-cut blouses or dresses, leotars, spandecks, mini skirts, backless, tops, sleeveless garments, skirts two inches or more above the knee, dresses or skirts with a high-cut split in the back front or side.

They understand what we’re unwilling to admit. That clothing entices. That closing produces lust. And they recognize in that environment, you don’t want to do that to those men. Why do we want to do it to those around us?

You’ve got to live radically. We pay lip service to worship being important. Unless there’s a ball game, school function. And then worship becomes secondary. I’m not going to debate you whether Hebrews 10, 24, or 25 applies to Wednesday night Bible study. I’m pretty sure it does. But if you don’t want to think so, okay. I’ll simply say, what is the impression we leave with our children? When we say, it’s okay, do this instead. Then what has been emphasized in their minds is this is okay. This is more important right now. Let me tell you, that’s not radical thinking. That’s not radical in the least. That’s going with the ways of the world and saying it’s okay to only give God a part of your life and not the sum total.

We look at movies and games, and we kid ourselves by saying, well, this has some offensive material in it, but it doesn’t, it’s not as bad as other stuff. It’s a far cry from what Paul said in Ephesians 5 and verse 11 that we’re not to participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead, even to expose them. We say that we can’t choose our friends for our friends for our kids. And you’re right, to a degree. But the fact is, if we’re intently interested in forming the strongest of bonds possible with our own children and leading them in the ways of God, then the likely chances are, and I don’t emphasize likely, they’re going to choose friends who typically share the same values. And if they don’t, radical measures are needed.

I’m not here advocating homeschooling. I don’t, we still don’t know what we’re going to do. But I think it’s shocking and sad. I’ve heard Christians ridicule other Christians because they took their own kids out of a public school and decided to homeschool them. They say, aren’t they going to be weird? They’re not going to be adapted socially. And I would say, so what? If that parent recognizes that there’s a danger to where my child is in that school, I’m taking them out so that I can help them and control that environment more. That may be a radical step, but God bless the parents and say, I’m going to live radically. And sometimes the worst things are the things we do to our kids ourselves, and that is the expectations that we have for them.

They’re just kids. They’re going to make mistakes, they’re going to mess up. We shouldn’t expect too much of them. Lies, lies, lies, and more lies. Yes, they’re kids. Yes, they’re young. Yes, they’ll make mistakes. We should expect the greatest things from them. If you look at the Old Testament and David was out slaying giants, Joseph was running from adultery, Daniel and his friends were determining not to defile themselves even in captivity, then how could we dare set the bar so low for our children? We sometimes say, What wonderful young people we have in this congregation? Absolutely. Let’s set the bar as high as we can. Let’s say our kids here, they can be pure. And we expect purity from them. Let’s say our children here, they can be devoted to God.

They can worship God with their whole heart. They can teach their friends. They can be a godly influence among others. They can be better than we are. Parenting is a choice. The choice didn’t end when we had the children. The choice is a constant choice. It’s the choice that Joshua was speaking of in Joshua 24 and 15. You already know the passage. If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve. Whether the gods which your fathers served, which were beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you were living. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Do you appreciate the fact that what John or Dab chose for his family made life more difficult?

5. Be Willing to Live Radically Yourself

He did not make life easier for his family. He made it more difficult. I won’t speak for you, but I’ll speak for me. What that says for me is I’m going to have to make some radical decisions for my kids. Decisions that may in fact make their life more difficult here. But hopefully, and by the grace of God, will result in eternal blessings. But that’s meaningless if you’re not willing to live radically yourself. Why do we not want to demand too much from our children? Because we don’t want to demand the same from ourselves. We don’t want to keep our kids away from immodesty because we want to dress the same way oftentimes ourselves or to be fascinated by it when we see it on other people.

We don’t want our kids to be radical and enthusiastic about worship because too oftentimes we’re not radical and enthusiastic about our worship to the Most High God. Living as a Christian is a radical calling. Let there be no mistake about it. You are asked to live in a way that is radical from this world. When Jesus gives the call in Luke 14 and verse 27, when he says that whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple, he is calling you to live in a way that is completely contrary and different from the rest of the world. But if I won’t do it, if I won’t leave all to follow him.

6. Emphasize Value, Not Rules

They’ll follow me right down the path of unradical living, of half hearted discipleship that is threatening to kill God’s people even now. Unless you think I’m trying to be hard. The final point would simply be this. Emphasize value, not rules. The point is not to lay down a law and say, do this, do this, do this, do this, don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t do this. There will be those things that must be said. But when John Adab laid out for his family, here is the way in which you are to live, and here is the reason why. That you may live before God. Then it’s incumbent upon us to set that clearly in the minds of our children, our grandchildren, our nieces, our nephews, our friends, and even in our own minds, that there’s value in living the way in which God has called me to live.

I am charged with expressing that value to my children. That yes, God’s ways are best, that God’s not the dictator in the sky, that God is in rule, God is in authority, that yet he loves us, and he loves you, and he wants you to follow him so that you can be spared from the terrible things that are going to happen in this life, and you can be with him in the next.

Conclusion

Follow me. Come down this way. The other way looks much better. But you don’m calling you to a harder life, a more difficult road. But this is what I’m offering you at the end. This is the eternal life that can be yours if you’ll follow me. God used Jonadab and his descendants as a contrast to the faithlessness of Israel at that time. Verse 12 of Jeremiah 35, and the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah, saying, Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel. Go and say to the men of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, will you not receive instruction by listening to my words? declares the Lord. The words of Jahadab, the son of Rechab, which he commanded his sons not to drink wine are observed.

So they do not drink wine to this day, for they have obeyed their father’s command. But I have spoken to you again and again that you’ve not listened to me. Also I’ve sent you to you all my servants, the prophets, sending them again and again, saying, Turn now every man from his evil way and amend your deeds, and do not go after other gods to worship them. Then you will dwell in the land which I have given to you and to your forefathers, but you’ve not inclined your ear or listened to me. Indeed, the sons of Jonadab, the son of Rechoth, have observed the command of their father, which he commanded them. But this people has not listened to me. How are we going to be the parents that God wants us to be?

Listening to Him. How are we going to be the citizens of this world in which God desires us to be? Unless we listen to Him? How are we going to be brothers and sisters indeed? Unless we listen to Him. How are we going to be His people at all? Unless we listen to Him. Will you listen to Him in all that He says? Would you listen to Him to have your soul saved? Would you listen to Him? Repent of your wrongs. Believe in Jesus as His Son, and be baptized, to have your sins forgiven, cleansed, and to be His child, pledging to evermore listen to Him, for He is our Father. Can we aid you in some way? Won’t you come as we stand and as we sing?