Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage – Part 4

Introduction

Good morning. Please turn your first Corinthians chapter 7. We are continuing today our series on marriage, divorce, and remarriage. And I have to make an apology. It looks like we’re going to have about four more lessons before we’re finished. I’m only kidding. This is the final lesson in this series. And we we are continuing today in 1 Corinthians 7, which we looked at last time, began looking at in lesson 3. Verses 10 through 16 are the verses in the chapter that deal with divorce. And so those are the verses that we’ve picked out to really focus on, although today we will give some special attention to verse 39 as well.

And Paul makes that point all through this section, that general point that divorce is sinful. He applies that in two ways. First, he applies it generally, quote, to the married in verses 10 and 1. And then he applies it specifically, quote, to the rest in verses 12 through 16. And by the rest, he means believers who are married to unbelievers. Now it’s common sense. I say that, but it’s not so common. That what applies generally also applies specifically. I mean, that just makes perfect sense. It’s not as the illustration that I read of one preacher who takes a different view on this, who said that it’s it’s like a football coach who has uh some veteran players and some freshman players, and he says to the veteran players, you fellas go over there and begin stretching, and to the rest, I have some other instructions for you guys.

No, that would be two separate set of instructions. This would be more like the coach who addresses the whole team. And then he focuses on one section of the team and addresses their specific position. And so that’s what’s going on here. Paul addresses the married, and then he addresses some of the married who are in a particular situation, and that is that they are married to unbelievers. So that’s what we have. We don’t have two separate sets of instructions, sets of rules. We have two applications of the same rule, and the rule is divorce is wrong. So in verse 12 there, but to the rest I say, not the Lord. I say, not the Lord. We need to make sure we understand what that means up front here.

Paul is appealing to his own apostolic authority. I say, not the Lord. Whereas you see up in verse 10, but to the married, I give instructions, not I, but the Lord. And then he basically repeats what the Lord taught. The general precepts that the Lord taught on divorce and remarriage. But here in 12 through 16, he’s addressing things that the Lord did not specifically mention. Jesus did not specifically address the matters of which Paul is going to be addressing here. So that’s why Paul appeals to his own authority. But he’s not saying, I’m going to give you my teaching. You’ve heard the Lord’s teaching. Let me give you a different teaching for a different scenario. No. The same rules that apply generally apply specifically. And everything that Paul says is consistent with what Jesus taught.

You see, Paul is just making an application that Jesus did not specifically make. He’s making a set of applications. Isn’t that basically what we are to do? We take the general principles that Jesus taught, which is that divorce is wrong, and the only exception is in the case of adultery. And we apply those to specific situations. Sometimes we might wish, I wish Jesus just gave us a whole rule book full of all the details. Well, he didn’t. He gave us basic principles that we can take and apply to specific situations. That’s what Paul is doing here. Only his application is inspired. And our applications are not inspired, and so we do have to be so careful to make sure that we respect and honor what principles Jesus did lay down.

But you know, if we can just kind of keep it simple, and I won’t add the last word to that normal phrase there. That wouldn’t be appropriate. If we can keep it simple, then just remember, it’s like Rufus told me last week we were talking, and he said, you know, I don’t know why people go into 1 Corinthians 7 and get all this false doctrine out of it. If they could just remember what Jesus said, and that’s it, period. Divorce is wrong, the only exception is adultery. You know, that would have made this whole series a whole lot easier, wouldn’t it? I mean, I could have just gotten up in about 30 seconds and said, here’s what Jesus laid down. Now let’s stand and see. And not had to have all this.

1. If the Unbeliever Stays

But we need to look at the details, and we need to study all of this because people do misunderstand so much of it. But ultimately, it’s a simple matter. And Paul is not going to be inconsistent with Jesus. Now in verses 12 to 16, Paul is considering two scenarios. The first one is if the unbeliever stays. And then secondly, we’re going to look at if the unbeliever leaves. Okay? So, marriage between a Christian and a non-Christian. The first scenario is if the non-Christian stays. And so let’s begin reading in verse 12. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her.

She must not send her husband away.

Anything new there? Let’s just pause there for a second. What’s he saying, basically? To divorce is wrong. That’s what he’s saying. And it’s no different if you’re married to an unbeliever. The same thing that applies generally applies specifically. Divorce is still wrong. But apparently the Corinthians were thinking, hey, if I’m married to a non-Christian, I need to get out of that relationship. And I’ll talk more about that in just a moment. Now the only variable here is whether the unbeliever will be content to remain in the marriage. If they are content to remain in the marriage, then of course, don’t divorce them. If they’re not content, well, that doesn’t mean you can divorce them, but it means they’re going to be divorcing you. And Paul deals with that in verse 15.

Okay? So that’s the only variable here. And I think that the very fact that Paul adds that variable at least suggests that there was a propensity, there was a tendency for the unbeliever not to be content to dwell with the believer. And that seems to be the situation here. It’s not, as we’re going to look later when the believer is abandoned by the unbeliever, when the unbeliever wants to divorce, I don’t think it’s mere happenstance. I think that this is the type of situation where the unbeliever is leaving because this person is a believer. And so if they happen to want to be content to stay in the marriage, don’t divorce them. But they’re not seeming to be content with that. You see? So that was happening.

And especially in regard to verse 26, there’s a present distress going on. So, you know, if you were a non-Christian married to a Christian and they were being persecuted, you were feeling some of that too. Some of that persecution. So maybe that’s the background of why there was a tendency for the unbeliever to divorce the believer. But anyway, I’ve said too much anyway. We’ll just move on. Verse 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife. And the unbelieving wife is sanctified through a husband. For otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Now the sanctified there means made holy. Okay? The husband is made holy through his believing wife. And I think what the idea there is through the marriage, the marriage, in terms of the marriage, the unbelieving spouse is sanctified, made holy.

And the children as well. Now, see, the reverse would have been true in the Old Testament, in the Law of Moses. And we’ll talk just a second about that. I think the point in verse 14 is that God recognizes the mixed marriage between a believer and an unbeliever as a holy union.

In Moses’ law, in the law of Moses, marriage to heathens or to pagans was forbidden and defiling. You weren’t supposed to do it. And the children. They’re unclean. You don’t need to have, you don’t need to go and marry somebody that’s pagan. Well, that’s not the case in the New Testament. Now, I certainly don’t think that Paul is saying, okay, so you need to go and marry some pagans. Here’s a good suggestion for you. No, he’s not recommending that. But he’s saying, if you’re married to somebody who’s an unbeliever, it’s not a defiling situation. It’s not something that is forbidden like it was in the Old Testament. So you can see where they would have thought. Should we divorce our unbelieving spouse so as not to be defiled?

You see? See where they could have had that question? Should we divorce our unbelieving spouse so as not to be defiled? And Paul is saying, no. You are actually the one who sanctifies your spouse and sanctifies the children. So, under Christ, such is not the case. Therefore, the unbeliever, I mean, the unbelief of a spouse is no ground for divorce. Now, you know what would have solved this, solved this really easily for the Corinthians? If they would have just remembered that the only ground for divorce is what? On account of adultery. You see how it all goes back to that? It’s all so simple. But Paul has to do all this explaining. Now, we’re going to skip verse 15 and come back to it. I believe verse 15 is parenthetical, not because it’s not important, but because it is dealing with if the unbeliever leaves.

2. You Might Be Able to Convert Them

And I believe verse 16 is continuing this thought of if the unbeliever stays. Now, this is a controversial verse with a lot of different interpretations, but I’ll give you the one that I think is the most accurate. For how do you know, a wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, a husband, whether you will save your wife? In other words, it seems to Paul is saying that the Christian spouse may possibly be able to convert the non-Christian spouse. Now, some look at it as a negative thing he’s saying. How do you know you might not be able to? And they connect it with verse 15. But I don’t think that’s I don’t think it’s correct. I think we need to connect it with verses 14 and 13 and 12.

Why would Paul want to say, you may be able to convert your spouse in a positive way? Well, it seems to be given as another reason for the believer not to divorce the unbeliever. Paul gave one reason in verses 12 and 13. Why don’t divorce them? Because divorce is wrong. He gave another reason in verse 14. Why not divorce them? Because God views it as a holy union. In verse 16, why not divorce the unbeliever? Because you might be able to convert them. And if you divorce them, you give up all chance of you having an influence to be able to convert that person. I think that’s the point. I just want to say this. I don’t know who all in here might be married to a non-Christian, but I know that that could be very hard.

That could be very discouraging. And you might sort of begin to lose hope that maybe my spouse is never going to become a Christian. You know what? Don’t give up hope. Paul seems here to be giving the Christians who are married to non-Christians hope. You know what? Your spouse could be converted. And continue to work for that. It’s to me, at least related. It’s similar to 1 Peter 3 1 and 2. In the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be one without a word by the behavior of their wives as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. And so it’s related to that. It’s the idea that maybe your spouse might be converted.

3. Not Marriage as a Means of Evangelism

Now, there’s another point I want to make here before I move on to the next thing. Paul is not encouraging marriage as a means of evangelism. He is not saying, well, here’s what you need to do. Just go and find somebody who’s not a Christian and marry them, and maybe you’ll be able to convert them. He is not encouraging marriage as a means of evangelism. He is dealing with somebody who happens to be married to a non-Christian and saying, you might be able to convert them. But don’t have the mindset on the outset, well, what I’ll do is I’ll marry this person, and they are not going to have a choice. I’m going to convert that person. That is risky business. And we know what Paul’s thoughts are about that.

He gives a very strong recommendation to marry Christians in verse 39. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord. Now, some view that as a command. You can only marry Christians. And it does have the force of a command, but I think we have to keep a couple of things in mind. First of all, Paul says in the verses that we were looking at earlier that the marriage that is a mixed marriage is a holy union. So I don’t think we can say it’s a sin to marry somebody who’s not a Christian. How would you repent of that? I mean, how would you change your ways?

You know, if you married somebody who is not a Christian, and that was a sin. But Paul is giving this as a strong recommendation in view of the present distress. You know, you have got all this suffering and persecution going on. It’s hard enough as it is. Why would you choose to go and marry somebody who’s not a Christian? But do you see that that’s a very, very strong recommendation? And so I would, I just would echo that for us all to remember. Those of you who are not married, choose a Christian. No, I can’t demand that you do that. And I don’t think that God demands it so that it’s a sin if you don’t, but he really, really wants you to. You put yourself in a world of trouble by choosing somebody who’s not a Christian.

And that was Paul’s point. You know, I think about what Paul said earlier, like in verse 35, this I say for your own benefit, not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. Isn’t that what we want? You know, I can remember dating at Florida College. It was a dog eat dog, man. Guys are ruthless. Everybody wanted the good Christian girl. And uh, I mean, y’all should have, y’all should have known Holly when I was first dating her. She was the most ungodly thing yet. No, I’m just kidding. I’m just kidding. One of the reasons I chose her is because she was so spiritually minded, so godly. And I’m not trying to say, oh, look at me.

4. If the Unbeliever Leaves

But what I decided is I’m not even going to date somebody who’s not a Christian. Why would I do that? I’m not going to marry somebody who’s not a Christian. I just wasn’t going to do that. And so I want to encourage us to have that mindset to marry somebody who’s a Christian. But if you don’t, it’s not that you’ve sinned. It’s just you have done something that is not recommended by the Lord. Now we move to the second scenario. If the unbeliever leaves. Oh, we’re not picking anything up back there. Oh, well, I’m plugged in. Okay, well, it doesn’t matter. I only slaved over it for hours, but no big deal. I didn’t really. If the unbeliever leaves. Now let’s read verse 15. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave.

The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. This is perhaps the most misunderstood, most misinterpreted verse on divorce and remarriage in the entire Bible. And so we need to be careful about how we go about this. And we’re going to break it down piece by piece. If the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. In other words, if the unbeliever insists on divorcing, the believer is not at fault by letting him leave. No, that’s an important thing. There would have been some who just had this sense of guilt. I’m obligated to this person. And I’m going to I’m just going to let him go. I can’t do that. I’ve got to hang on desperately. Paul’s saying, no, you’re not at fault.

You’re not the one who’s divorcing. He’s the one that’s divorcing you. You’re not at fault by letting him leave. Now, the term let him leave, you know, suggests, it infers necessarily that there is something that the believer could do to force this thing to keep happening. You see? Let him leave. He insists on divorcing. Don’t hang on to it desperately. Let him go. The believer is not obligated to meet whatever conditions necessary to prevent the unbeliever from leaving. Now, this is not just anybody who’s leaving. It’s an unbeliever, and I think the idea is that the unbeliever is divorcing this Christian because it’s a Christian. And I don’t want to be married to you who are a Christian anymore. Remember, we kind of mentioned that earlier.

Maybe connected with the present distress and the suffering that was going on. I don’t want to be in this situation anymore. I’m feeling the impact of all this present distress being married to you. I want out. So the believer is not obligated to meet whatever conditions necessary to prevent the unbeliever from leaving, such as giving up Christ. Now just imagine if you were married to an unbeliever, and he was not only, you know, not a Christian, but he was hostile to the faith. And he ended up saying to you, you either give up Christ, or I’m going to divorce you. What do you say in that situation? I’m not giving up Christ. Now, that certainly would be included in what Paul is addressing here. I’m not saying I know that is the specific situation, but that certainly would be included.

So if it comes between a decision to serve the Lord and preserve the marriage, you serve the Lord. And let the unbeliever depart.

Not under bondage means not enslaved. In other words, the Christian in this scenario is not a slave, but is free. You know, marriage is not an institution of slavery. A slave tells his servant what to do, and the servant has to do it and doesn’t have a choice. But in this instance, whatever demands the unbeliever is making to preserve the marriage, the believer does not have to meet those requirements because he’s not a slave. He is free, or she is free. Free to do what? Free to remarry? Paul doesn’t say that. People read that into this. They take not under bondage to mean the marriage bond is broken, dissolved, and you’re free to go and remarry. Well, that’s a lot to insert when the text doesn’t indicate that.

The context doesn’t indicate that. Free to do what? Free to let him leave. You’re free to let him leave. You’re not in bondage. We’ll talk more about that bondage word in a minute. But God has called us to peace. The Christian must make the best of such a situation. This unbeliever wants to depart. Let him depart. Make the best of such a situation as peacefully as possible. You remember what Paul said in Romans 12 and verse 18? If it is possible, as much as depends on you, be at peace with all men. And that applies across the board. You know, you’re married to somebody that’s difficult to be married to. And we might have some of that in this congregation. Maybe you’re sitting there and you’re thinking, you know what?

My spouse makes it difficult for me to be a Christian. They make my life hard and difficult. Be at peace with all men. As much as it is possible. As much as depends on you. That’s what Christ wants us to do. That’s what we are to do. Even if that unbeliever wants to divorce you, you handle it as peacefully as possible. Now, let me just say there. Paul applies that to one who is subjected to divorce, not to one who initiates divorce. He’s not saying, well, if if you’re not content to dwell with your spouse, just get a divorce. God has called us to peace. In other words, God just wants you to be happy. That’s the way some people take this. Well, you know what?

God wants us to go to heaven. God wants us to go to heaven. Amen. God doesn’t just want us to be happy. If we can be happy, we need to be happy. But sometimes serving the Lord puts hardship on us. And that’s not such happy times. But the important thing isn’t our temporal happiness. The important thing is whether we go to heaven. And so Paul is not. He is not saying. All that God cares about is your happiness. He is saying you need to deal with these situations and make peace as much as is possible with what you can do. Alright. Now to finish, we’re going to look at two things that verse 15 does not teach. Two things, and we could probably look at 22 things.

5. Verse 15 Does Not Teach the Pauline Privilege

First of all, it does not teach the Pauline privilege. By Pauline, I don’t mean the name of a girl, okay? That means Paul’s privilege. Or the Pauline exception. Now just Google it sometime. The Pauline privilege. It is largely a Catholic doctrine in many Protestant denominations. Really across the board would hold to this idea. And then really, it goes back to verse 12, where Paul says, But to the rest I say, not the Lord. And so they begin there and they say, Well, see, what Paul is doing is giving his instructions. He gave the Lord’s instructions in 10 and 11. Now in 12 through 16, he’s giving his instructions as if they are a different set. No, that is not the case. But that’s kind of where, that’s really where they start.

And yet if the unbelieving one leaves, verse 15, let him leave. The brother or the sister is not under bondage. In such cases, but God has called us peace, not under bondage. And they take that not under bondage to mean that the marriage bond is dissolved. You have no more obligation to that person anymore. You’re free to remarry. That’s how they take that, not under bondage. But it cannot mean that. First of all, it’s a different word. When he says bondage, it’s doulus or doolos. It’s a word for slavery. Okay. And when he says bound, it’s the word deo. Okay, it’s the idea of binding somebody like with a rope or even with chains. So it’s two different words, and it’s two different contexts. It’s two different ideas.

And secondly, look at what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7.39. A wife is bound as long as her husband lives. But if her husband is dead, she is free to be remarried, married to whom she wishes only in the Lord. So Paul says that binding is for life. And so if the unbeliever divorces, that doesn’t mean the binding is magically dissolved. The only exception, and this keeps going back to Jesus, the only exception is in the case of adultery. If your spouse commits adultery, you then have a choice to dissolve that marriage bond by divorcing them and going and remarrying somebody else. That’s the only exception. Paul is not giving the Pauline exception. Because that exception would actually put him in conflict with what Jesus said.

It wouldn’t just be like a nice little addition here, which people like to make it. No, it would actually be a direct conflict. It would be a direct conflict with himself for one thing and with the Lord for another thing. It would be a conflict with himself because in verse 11 he says, but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And so it’d be the same scenario. Whether she leaves or whether he leaves, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled. And it’s in conflict with what Jesus said, because you remember what he said in Matthew 5 and verse 32 that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the case of unchastity or adultery, makes her commit adultery.

Jesus said, everyone who does that, who divorces his wife, except for adultery, makes her commit adultery. In other words, you divorce this person for whatever reason, you have put them in a position where they cannot remarry. And if they do, they are committing adultery. That is the exact situation that this person would be in who lets the unbeliever depart. This person has now been divorced. That unbeliever has put them in a situation where they cannot remarry, and if they do, they will be committing adultery. You see? So Paul is not in conflict with Jesus. Because if we have Paul in conflict with Jesus, we have God in conflict with God. And scripture does not conflict Scripture. God does not contradict Himself. And His Spirit was working through Paul as well as it worked through Jesus.

Conclusion

In all of this, brethren, I want us to see in all four of these lessons that there are basically two rules of biblical interpretation. Context and harmony. We could complicate it further if we wanted, but just simplify. Context and harmony. The first thing we must do in order to correctly interpret any passage is to look at its context, the immediate context and the surrounding context. The second thing we must do is consider what other Bible passages on the same topic have to say. Harmony. And if our interpretation violates the context and or violates harmony with other passages, our interpretation is flawed and is false. And that’s what people who misinterpret 1 Corinthians 7 have done. They have violated the context, and they have violated harmony. The Bible is not a playground.

For us to say, oh, I just think I’ll just have a little fun here. And you make up your mind what you want it to say, or it says something, you think, well, maybe that says this or that. It seems to be saying that. Then you create the whole thing to mean what you really want it to mean. And you throw everything out of whack. That does not work. And sadly, that’s what has happened in the majority of uh, you know, Christendom today. Thank you for your kind attention in these four lessons on marriage, divorce, and remarriage. I’ve probably given you more information than you ever wanted to have. But I hope that it’s been helpful and it’s been beneficial for me for sure to preach on it.

And I tell you, I’m ready to preach on something easy next time. Would you bow with me in a word of prayer and then we’ll dismiss.

Thank you so much for your word which is simple. Help us, Father, that we will abide in the teachings of Jesus and that we will not violate those, that we will not invent our own doctrines and insert our own opinions and thoughts into passages, but we will respect the context, Father. Help us in our marriages, Lord, that we will live as the husbands and wives that we ought to be and that we will not divorce and that we will not commit adultery, Father. And not only that, but that we will be that we will be the right kind of husbands and wives in every regard and forgive us where we fall short. It is through your Son that we pray. Amen