Pitfall #1: The Problem With Peers (2001 Apr 1)

Introduction

You know, toward the end of the Persian Gulf War, as American troops were routing Iraqi forces, General Norman Schwarzkopf held a news conference to update everybody on the progress of the conflict. And during that news conference, one of the questions, a question that was raised rather by one of the reporters, had to do with the minefields that the armies had encountered. You see, before the ground war began, there were reports that the Iraqis were setting all kinds of mines and booby traps for the invading forces. And it was feared that there was going to be a heavy loss of life as American forces crossed through these minefields. Well, as it turned out, those fears never materialized. And it led this one reporter to ask during the news conference if the fears about the minefields before the ground war had been exaggerated.

Was it just not as hazardous as you anticipated? The reporter asked General Schwartzkopf. Well, that was a wrong question. I remember watching that news conference. Schwarzkopf stood up there, and his neck began to get red and his face scrunched up, and he was just quiet for a minute, and that’s always a bad sign. And finally he pointed his finger out there at the reporter that asked a question and said, You ever been in a minefield? Well, that’s what the reporter did. He didn’t say anything either. And finally, after the long silence, he piped up and said, Well, no, I haven’t. And Schwarzkopf shot back, he said, Well, I have. And I’ll tell you, even if there’s just one mine in a minefield, it’s dangerous and hazardous.

And it can cost you your life. Now, any more questions? Well, the reporter didn’t have any more questions. But I think Schwarzkopf was exactly right. Can you imagine what it would be like to be in a minefield? Even if you just knew there was only one mine. Not knowing if the next step that you took would literally blow up in your face. I want you to think about that this morning and get that image firmly implanted in your mind. Because what I want to suggest to you this morning is that our children are growing up today in the middle of a minefield. All around them and every day, our kids are confronted by dangerous pitfalls that threaten their happiness and their future. Think about it. Look around at all the minds that are waiting out there.

Waiting to trip them up. There’s filthy entertainment. What’s coming across the television? What’s in popular movies? What’s in popular music? All things that threaten to corrupt the minds of our children. We see it in the internet that puts our kids just a click away from the very worst filth that the society is capable of manufacturing. And that too threatens to corrupt our children. There’s the pitfall of sex, sex too soon, and sex outside of the marriage relationship that runs the risk of shame and guilt and pregnancy and disease. And yes, sadly, in our day, even death. Our culture of unbelief threatens to plant in the minds of our children seeds of doubt about God and the Bible and puts at risk their faith. And folks, that’s not touching the hem of the garment, as they say.

There are pitfalls of gangs and rebellion and drug and alcohol abuse and materialism. All these dangers, just waiting out there to trip up our kids. And what makes matters worse is a lot of times young people don’t even know they’re in a minefield. And sometimes even those that do don’t realize how hazardous the minds can be.

And that’s where grandma and grandpa come in, and that’s where faithful brothers and sisters of Christ come in. Because it is our task to help our young people navigate life’s minefield, to avoid those pitfalls which threaten to take away their happiness, to dim their hopes and dreams for the future, and that put at risk their relationship with Jesus Christ. We continue this morning to talk in the series we’ve been considering for the last month about raising kids that turn out right. And this morning, what I’d like to do in this series of lessons is kind of shift gears and turn our attention to that minefield. For the next several weeks, I want us to think about some of the specific dangers that are out there that confront our children, some of the minds that are laying there just under the surface, threatening to blow up in their face.

And what we as parents can do specifically and practically to help our children avoid these pitfalls. We’ll consider several of them over the next several weeks. That’s why I’ve asked you this morning to turn with me to Proverbs chapter 1. I want to begin reading in just a moment from verse 8. Because I believe in this context that Solomon tries to warn us about one of the pitfalls that our children face, and one of the minds that are out there that we need to help them avoid. Read with me starting in Proverbs 1 and verse 8. Solomon says, Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck. My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.

If they say, Come with us, let us lie, wait for blood, let us ambush the innocent without cause. Let us swallow them alive like sheol, even whole as those who go down to the pit. We shall find all kinds of precious wealth. We shall fill our houses with spoil. Throw in your lot with us, and we shall have one purse. My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path. For their feet run to evil, and they hasten to shed blood. Indeed, it is useless to spread the net in the eyes of any word, any bird, but they lie wait for their own blood. They ambush their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence. It takes away the life of its possessors.

1. The Dangerous Pitfall of the Wrong Peers

In this passage, Solomon would try to warn us about one of the grave dangers that our children face. The danger that they’re going to be led in the wrong direction, they’re going to be led into sin, led astray from God’s path, and wreak havoc in their lives because of the influence of their peers. Because they hang out with the wrong crowd. You know, brother, one of the important tasks that we have as parents, and one of the ways that all of us need to be helping our young people is to help them navigate around this dangerous pitfall that is posed by the wrong peers. To do that, I want to say, first of all, that we as parents need to come to some settled convictions in our heart about the problem, about the nature of the problem, and about the action we need to take to help our children avoid it.

2. Friends Will Exert an Enormous Influence

Remember, we were talking two weeks ago about how helping our kids begins with us, and that part of that is about the convictions we have. Well, let me tell you something, folks. If we’re going to help our kids avoid the grave danger of the wrong kinds of friends and influences in their lives, we need to begin as parents with some settled convictions about our children and their relationships with their friends. And so I want to begin the lesson this morning talking about the peer problem by asking you to consider with me three convictions that every mom and dad, every grandparent needs to have about their children and grandchildren regarding their relationships with their friends and with their peers. Consider these with me, please this morning. First of all, as parents, we need to be convicted convicted that friends will exert an enormous influence in the lives of our children.

We simply cannot afford to be unaware or naive about that problem. Parents have to understand that friends will exert enormous influence over their children. Solomon tried to tell us that. He tried to warn us that our kids are going to hear another voice. Did you see that in Proverbs chapter 1? In verse 8, he said to us, Hear my son, your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. That’s one voice they hear. But it’s not the only voice. Because he goes on to say in verse 10, my son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, come with us. Moms and dads need to realize that someone else is talking to our kids. Sometimes it’s just the voice of culture generally. You ever heard your kids say, everybody’s doing it?

Sometimes that’s the voice they’re hearing. What everyone else at school is wearing or doing or where they’re going, what they see happening on television or in the commercials. Sometimes the voice that is speaking to them is just the voice of culture. Sometimes it’s more specific, though. Sometimes what they’re hearing is the voice of a specific group of friends, neighborhood kids, friends that they have at school, friends on a ball team or in some other organization. But whatever the voice, we need to appreciate that someone else is talking to our kids and trying to