Pitfall #3: Sex Too Soon (2001 Apr 22)

Introduction

Proverbs chapter 5. I want us to begin our thoughts this morning with the first fourteen verses of this chapter from Solomon’s Book of Wisdom. Proverbs chapter 5. He writes, My son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding, that you may observe discretion, and your lips may reserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech. But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life. She is unstable, she does not know it. Her ways are unstable, rather, she does not know it. Now then, my son, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

Keep your way far from her, and do not go near to the door of her house, lest you give your vigor to others, and your years to the cruel one, lest strangers be filled with your strength, and your hard-earned goods go to the house of an alien, and you groan at your latter end, when your flesh and your body are consumed, and you say, How I have hated instruction, and my heart spurned reproof, and I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to instruction. I was almost in utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation. Solomon recognized what parents need to recognize. And that is that the temptation to commit sexual sin is one of the greatest pitfalls that threatens our children.

In fact, over the next three chapters of this ancient book of wisdom, Solomon would devote himself to trying to warn his son about that danger. And as godly parents, today, we need to be keenly aware of the sexual temptations that confront our children. We need to appreciate that our children grow up in a sexually charged world. As we mentioned last Sunday, their entertainment is literally filled with graphic sexual material. It’s on our television. It’s in our advertising. It’s used to market everything from beer to clothing to sports cars. It fills the movie screens and the internet and magazines. Consequently, it is not surprising to find, listen to this, that four out of five young people will be sexually active before they are out of their teen years.

But you know what disturbs me about that? What disturbs me about that is there seems to be little shame about that reality in our culture today. I remember many years ago, Heidi and I were plopped in front of the TV one night. We weren’t fasting this week. Fasting from our television, that is. And we were watching the news, and after that, a little catch came on for the nightline program that was coming on after that. We didn’t usually stay up and watch it, but they said that they were going to be talking about the problem of sex among teenagers and teen pregnancy and things like that. And I looked at her and I said, I think we ought to give that a look. And so we waited for the program to come on, and it was one of these town hall meetings.

It was in an auditorium somewhere with hundreds of people gathered, and it was being broadcast to millions of people all over the world, and on this stage they had these teenagers. And I want you to know that these teenagers on the stage would talk openly about their sexual promiscuity before this great audience and a national televised audience of millions, and they weren’t blushing, they weren’t ashamed. They were talking about it as if they were talking about what they’d had for lunch the previous days. That’s disturbing. Teachers tell of students who walk down the hallways of the school talking openly about their immoral intentions toward each other. In fact, a couple of years ago, there was a story that made the national news about a group of boys out in a suburb of Los Angeles at Lakewood High School.

A group of boys who called themselves the spur posse. Do you remember these guys? Boys who openly bragged about their sexual immorality, about their sexual conquest, and had even come up with a system for keeping score and comparing with each other. You know what was worse about that than all of that? Do you know that when the story hit the national news, some of these parents were interviewed? And do you know what their reaction was? They were outraged that people had made such a big deal about it. They excused it all by saying, Well, you know, boys will be boys. God forbid any of us should ever raise boys like that.

What a shame. Of course, the risk of disease, especially AIDS, which is terminal and incurable, has only heightened concerns. Now being sexually irresponsible may not only result in guilt and embarrassment, perhaps an unexpected pregnancy or disease, but it can even cost you your life. But I think the one thing that has disturbed me most is to find that even in the religious community, to my amazement, even within the religious community, there are elements in mainstream denominationalism who are starting to suggest that we ought not be so firm and old-fashioned in our opposition to sex outside of marriage. That maybe that’s really not wrong. And maybe even in times when it involves teenagers, it’s not wrong. Do you realize there are religious people today that are advocating that position?

In such a world, godly parents need to take a couple of chapters from Solomon’s book. Folks, we’ve got to guide our kids to avoid the pitfall of sex too soon and sex outside of God’s appointed relationships. Like Solomon, we need to have some frank talks with our children. Talks that serve to instill Bible principles, talks that serve to answer their questions, talks that serve to set limits and draw boundaries, and talks that serve to develop deep seated convictions about their sexual purity. Let me say, going in this morning, that I understand the delicacy of a subject like this. And I would ask you to understand with me that this is also a biblical subject. And that the God of heaven wants you and I, and he wants our children to understand some things about sex.

With all the wrong information that is out there and so widely spread in our culture, we need to be talking about what’s right. And we need to be sure that our children growing up, grow up understanding what the God of heaven has said about this important subject. And so I’d like you to spend some time with me thinking about that this morning. And I want to begin, as we have each lesson in this series recently, by talking to you about some convictions that we parents need to have as we begin to try to bring up our children in the kind of sexually charged world in which we live. I want to begin this morning by talking to you about three convictions parents need to have, and that we need to be working to instill within our children so that they can maintain their sexual purity and that the right concepts will be instilled in their hearts.

1. Sex Is Not a Dirty Word

And I want to begin this morning by saying to you, first of all, the converse conviction parents need to have, and that we need to be instilling in our children is this one, and that is that sex is not a dirty word. I tell you why I say that.

I mean, after all, what are they to think, folks, when mom and dad avoid the subject like the plague? And what are they to think when mom and dad only talk about it with great, obvious discomfort? Well you can just tell they’re ill at ease. And what are they to think when our conversations about sex mostly focus on telling our children not to commit sexual sins. And what are they to think when most of the conversation they do here comes from friends and involves impure discussion about sex. It is not difficult to see why, that many young people often grow up believing that sex is something that is dirty and wrong. Folks, we need to appreciate that such a picture is unhealthy. And is not it is not at all what God intends for our children to have.

We need to appreciate the best way to combat all of the wrong messages that are out there. It’s not to remain silent about this important subject, but to present to our children a positive scriptural picture of what God has to say about this. Now let me suggest to you three things that a biblical picture of sex needs to include. Number one, if you’ll be turning to Genesis chapter 1 and verse 27, we need to be teaching our children that sex was not invented by Hugh Hefner or Dr. Ruth. We need to be teaching our children that sex comes from God. Genesis chapter 1 and verse 27, at the very beginning, the Bible says, and God created man in his own image, in the image of God, he created him.

Listen, male and female, he created them. We need to appreciate that it is the God of heaven who designed our bodies. It is God who made us men or women. He created both sexes. It is the God of heaven who put within our beings the physical desire for one another. And I want you to know that it was the God of heaven who looked on all of that in Genesis 1 and verse 31, and you know what he said? He said, This is very good. Sex was God’s idea. Listen, young people, I want you to get this. When you follow God’s direction regarding sex, there is nothing wrong or dirty or inappropriate about it. It is a wonderful, beautiful thing, just as the Creator intended. We need to teach our kids, number one, that sex is God’s idea.

Secondly, we need to teach our children that sex was designed by God to give pleasure to men and women. Turn in your Bibles, if you will, back to the book of Proverbs. I want to go back to Proverbs 5. And I want to look at some more of this lecture that Solomon gave his son about sex. In Proverbs chapter 5, starting in verse 15, he says to his son, drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the street? Let them be yours alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breast satisfy you at all times.

Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner. And then the context, Solomon’s effort is to direct his son away from the dangers of adultery. But I want you to notice that in doing that, not only does he point his son to marriage and his wife as the appropriate place for satisfying these desires, but he celebrates sexual love within marriage in this context. He says, rejoice with the wife of your youth. Be exhilarated. Literally, the word there is be intoxicated always with her love. Sex was intended for the pleasure of a husband and a wife. There is nothing dirty or wrong or inappropriate about that. And moms and dads, we need to teach our kids that.

And that is that through this sexual relationship, new life is conceived. A new soul is brought into the world. Humanity’s existence is perpetuated. In Genesis 1 and verse 28, the text says, and God blessed them, and God said to them, that is to Adam and Eve, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. We need to instill within our children the idea that there is something awesome about this sexual relationship. That it’s more than just a mechanical function of the body, more than just something designed to give pleasure, that from this relationship comes life.

2. God Has Given Boundaries That Govern Sex

I think knowing that changes your perspective. I think this says to us that sex is something that is power and awesome. And as a result, needs not to be taken lightly, but handled carefully and seriously. Listen, folks, when you’re talking about the ability to bring a new eternal soul into the world, we better give some thought to what we’re doing. We need to help our kids understand that sex is not a dirty word. We need to help them understand all of the beauty that God intended when he created it. And all the seriousness, all the seriousness that is associated with it. Because when they understand that, they will better be able to understand this second conviction we need to have. And that is that the God of heaven has given us some boundaries that govern this sexual relationship.

And listen, when we understand how awesome and how powerful it is, it only makes sense that God’s going to give us some guidance in handling it correctly. You know, the law of God prescribes that this level of intimacy should only be shared by a man and a woman within the commitment of a marriage relationship. Sex is only beautiful and appropriate and what it ought to be when it’s within a marriage. In fact, the scriptures will reserve some of the strongest condemnation you will find anywhere for those who would transgress the limits that God had placed on this. For example, in 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 9, Paul would say, or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor the drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Did you catch what he said there? He said, this is the kind of behavior that if someone persists in, sexual immorality, it’ll keep them out of the kingdom of God. In Galatians 5 and verse 19, sexual immorality is listed as one of the works of the flesh. And in verse 21, he warns us that those who live such lives will not inherit the kingdom of God. Over in Hebrews chapter 13 and in verse 4. The Hebrew writer would say, Let marriage be held in honor among all. Listen to this. And let the marriage bed be undefiled. For fornicators and adulterers, listen to this. God will judge. There are some hard words in Scripture for those who would violate the limits that God has placed upon this relationship.

But what we need to recognize, and what we need to be teaching our children, is that there is a reason that God has set these limits. There is a reason that God has given us boundaries. There’s a reason that God did not say, just go have sex whenever and with whoever you want to. And it’s not because God is trying to deprive the unmarried of legitimate pleasure. It is because He is trying to spare all of us the pain and the suffering that we endure when we are sexually irresponsible. And I’m going to tell you, folks, we’re learning that lesson all too well in our culture. Can I give you just a little sample? I want you to consider with me the way the life of a young teenage girl is changed when she chooses to be sexually irresponsible and becomes a mother.

I want you to consider how her life changes. Number one, she is now less likely to complete high school. Two-thirds of teen girls that become moms don’t finish high school. Nine out of ten will not go to college. Talk about drastically altered lives. Number two, it is very likely that she will live below the poverty line. Eight out of teen, uh eight out of ten teen mothers live below the poverty line for at least the next ten years of their life, and most live below the poverty line for the rest of their lives. But it doesn’t just affect their mother, it affects the children. The children born to teen mothers are more likely to have lower birth rates or birth weights. They are more likely to perform poorly in school when they get older.

They are at greater risk for abuse and neglect. The sons of teen mothers are far more likely to wind up in jail. And the daughters of teen mothers are far more likely to grow up and become teen mothers themselves, and so they perpetuate the cycle. And I want you to appreciate that estimates are in this country that we spend seven billion dollars a year dealing with the problem of teen pregnancy. That’s one cent. And for those who think that abortion is the answer, estimates are that more than 80% of women who choose abortion later in life come to deeply regret that decision, wish later they could have done something different and live for the rest of their lives with the guilt and regret of knowing they’ve murdered their unborn child.

And folks, we’ve not begun to touch on all the problems. We’ve not begun to touch on the problem of disease. You know, a sexually active young teenage girl is four times more likely to catch a sexually transmitted disease than she is to get pregnant. You know, back in the 1950s, there were only five known and treated sexually transmitted diseases today. You know how many, or in that day, do you know how many are today? More than 50. And every year, three million teenagers in this country contract sexually transmitted diseases, many of which they carry with them for the rest of their lives. They’re incurable. What’s the point? Listen, when the God of heaven says there are some limits, there are some boundaries. And don’t cross those boundaries.

3. Sexual Purity Involves More Than Abstaining From Fornication

He says it for a reason. It’s not trying to deprive anyone of pleasure. It’s trying to spare us the pain of behaving in a way that is irresponsible. But let me say to you thirdly this morning that we need to be convicted that sexual purity involves more than just abstaining from fornication. I’d like to invite your attention back to Galatians 5 and verse 19 for just a minute. I alluded to that passage a minute ago where Paul would label sexual immorality, fornication, and adultery as a work of the flesh and warned that those who behave that way will not inherit the kingdom of God. But what I want you to notice with me this time is that there is also another word that is used in this context that is labeled as a work of the flesh, and that is the second word in verse 19, the word impurity.

It is an important word with which we need to grow more familiar. Scholars tell us that impurity is actually a broader term than the first word he uses for sexual immorality, and that it speaks not only to the sin of fornication or adultery, but that it includes all of the thoughts and the behaviors that lead to those sins. We need to appreciate, folks, that fornication is not a solitary act. Typically, it involves a whole host of impure thoughts, of impure language, of impure behavior, of impure motives, all of which that served to leave a lead up to the sin of fornication. What the Holy Spirit is doing in this context is He’s condemning the whole filthy mess. Listen to it. He’s saying to us that it’s not just the act itself, but all of those things that help lead to it are just as filthy in the eyes of God as the act itself.

Folks, we face a challenge with our kids not just to teach them to avoid fornication. We face the challenge to teach our children to be sexually pure. We need to have frank talks with them about impure thoughts and inappropriate conversation and risky behavior and inappropriate touching, all of which serve to pave the road to fornication. We need to talk in detail to our children about what it means to be sexually pure, not simply to avoid fornication. Well, those are some convictions, I think, that moms and dads need to have going in. What I’d like to do with our time that remains this morning is I want to talk to you practically and specifically about some things that we can do that will help our kids avoid these pitfalls.

4. Talking to Their Kids About Sex

How do I get these convictions still instilled within their minds? And how do I how do I protect my kids from getting caught into this dangerous trap? Well, let me suggest to you, first of all, that moms and dads need to be talking to their kids about sex. I want to share with you some disturbing statistics. A group of teenagers were surveyed and asked how much their parents talk to them about sex. I want you to notice particularly those last two numbers up there. More than 50% said that their parents rarely or never talk to their kids about sex. I don’t get that. With the sexually charged society in which we live, how can a parent not, on a regular basis be talking to their children about such an important subject?

Folks, our kids need us to be talking to them about this subject. And let me say a few things about what that conversation needs to involve. Certainly, in view of the danger that is posed and all the wrong messages that are out there, certainly, this is part of what Paul was talking about in Ephesians 6 and 4 when he said to bring our children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Certainly that includes instructions about being sexually pure. So let me say these three things. Number one, we need to talk to our kids early about sex. Ms. Bonnie always gets on me for apologizing to you guys, but I’m going to apologize to you this morning. I’m sorry I have to tell you that.

I know how much we would like to protect our children’s innocence, but our world is not giving us that option anymore. If we don’t start talking about it, someone else will start talking about it and they’re tell our children the wrong things about it more than likely. Folks, I would rather be sure that I started a little earlier and gave my kids the right information than having to backtrack and correct the wrong information they’ll get from the world. Certainly, by the time our children have reached the age of eight or nine, they needed to have had a frank conversation with their parents about this important subject and be shared some of the important details about how this process works. If you haven’t done that yet, well, you got a new challenge for this week.

We fasted from television last week. You need to begin having a conversation with your children. And let me add that on an ongoing basis, we need to stay ahead of the game. Our strategy needs to be that we’re going to talk to our kids and prepare them for what’s coming before it happens. You see what I’m saying? We need to have already laid out some important principles and guidelines with our children about dating, for example, before they’re getting ready to go out on their first date. We need to get ahead of the game, folks. We need to talk about sex early, and secondly, we need to talk about it often. I think, in the typical American way of thinking, what dad is supposed to do or what mom is supposed to do is they’re supposed to take their son or daughter aside at some point in their growing up years and have the talk.

You remember the talk? That one time where your mom and dad muster up the courage to talk to you about this subject and usually say something like, Well, you know, if you ever have any questions about sex, I hope you feel like you can come to me. That isn’t going to cut it, folks. It’s not about one talk and then we close the door. We need to let our kids know that we can talk about this anytime. That they can bring any questions and we need to make them comfortable about it. And we don’t need to wait till they bring it up. We need to be looking for opportunities on an ongoing basis to explore our children’s convictions. If you’re sitting there watching television, and perhaps unexpectedly something comes across the screen that sends the wrong message to your kids about sex, talk to them about that.

What’d you think about that? What did you think about the attitude those people display? What do you believe about sex? What do you think the Bible teaches? What are you committed to do? We need to have those discussions with our children. We need to talk early and we need to talk often and we need to talk specifically. Parents must avoid vague generalities. Like, if you ever have any questions, I’ll hope you come to me. That’s a guarantee that they won’t, folks. We’ve got to say more to them than just don’t commit fornication. Folks, on this one, with this battle, because of its seriousness, we need to get down in the trenches as mom and dads and wage this war against a filthy society that’s sending the wrong messages.

Let me be specific. We need to talk to our kids about how far is too far when it comes to intimacy. And you need to lay out for your children some specific guidelines. Listen. Your teenage daughter does not need to be making decisions about that when she finds herself in the back seat of some boy’s car somewhere. She needs to know long before that moment where the lines ought to be drawn. We must talk specifically to our children about handling tempting situations. Create scenarios that they are like to fail likely to face and talk to them about how they’re going to handle those scenarios. We need to talk to our young men and our young women about how they treat each other. We need to be training our boys to be gentlemen and our girls to be ladies.

And moms and dads, we need to be teaching our children to keep their hands off each other. I am so disturbed by the behavior of teenagers today, sometimes. Largely, I mean teenagers in the world. I’m amazed out in public to watch young ladies sitting in the laps of young gentlemen. Or watch young ladies giving young men back rubs. What is that? Who can’t see a problem with that kind of behavior? We need to raise our young men to be gentlemen and to know that gentlemen don’t put their hands on girls like that. And that young ladies don’t need to behave that way toward the guys. We need to set specific boundaries for our children. For example, our boys need to never be over at their girlfriend’s house when no one’s home.

And they shouldn’t be at our house. And there’s no reason that two young people, even if mom and dad are home, ought to be up in the bedroom. Listen, that ought to be off limits for members of the opposite sex. We need to set some boundaries like that. Our kids need to know that it is never acceptable to be off on some lonely road parked in a car somewhere with your boyfriend or girlfriend. We need to set those kind of specific limits. We need to set dating guidelines before they begin to date. We need to talk to our kids about who they’re going to go out with and what’s going to be permissible and where they’re going to be able to go before she’s walking out the door for the first day.

5. Teach Our Children to Avoid Provocative Behavior

Temptations faced by our children are too great to leave them with just some vague generality that, well, you need to not commit a fornication. We need to talk to our kids early and often and in detail about how they’re going to handle these things. Then, number two, we need to teach our children to avoid provocative behavior. Listen, folks, if we already live in a sexually charged world, the last thing we need to be doing is allowing our kids to behave in a way or go to places that are only going to serve to stir up desires that are inappropriate and illicit. Let’s be specific about that. We need to be talking to our young men and young women about dressing modestly. You know, the last thing in this kind of world that our kids need to be doing is wearing clothing that is revealingly short or cut or tight.

Now listen, I understand that both men and women need to be modest. But I want to say something particularly about the young ladies this morning. In fact, I want to talk to some daddies this morning about your daughters. You know, daddies understand better than moms how men think, how they operate, what is arousing. And we need some daddies to show some greater discretion about the kind of things they let their little girls go out the door wear. I know it’s hard for some daddies to think of your little early teenage daughter as being the object of some boy’s desire, but let me tell you, she will be. And you need to make sure, as a protective father of your family, that she goes out the door wearing things that are decent and modest and that cover her body.

In 1 Timothy chapter 2 and verse 9, Paul said, likewise, I want women to adorn themselves in proper clothing, modestly, discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works as befits women making a claim to godliness. Let me add to that that I do not understand how thinking parents can send their teenage sons and daughters with their hormones raging down to the public swimming pool or the public beach, where you’ve got a mixed crowd of young men and young women wearing little more or less than their underwear.

If you’ve got a teenage son that tells you he can look at a young lady or a group of young ladies running around in bathing suits or bikinis, if he can tell you that he can look at that scene and keep his thoughts perfectly cute perfectly pure, that for a moment his mind doesn’t go in the wrong direction, watch out because he’s apt to lie about other things too.

Folks, this ought to be a no-brainer, honestly. That’s just not the kind of place our kids need to be. Not dressed in so little with hormones raging so strong with it? What are we thinking? Similar points need to be made about dancing. When you think about what goes on at a dance, when you think about the setting, ever wonder why they turn the lights down at a dance? They don’t dance with the lights on. You’ve got to have a dark room. You’ve got to have romantic music playing in the background. What is that? What atmosphere is trying to be creative? And then to think about how young men and young women handle each other when they’re dancing. Listen, there are some people among God’s people who try to argue that’s not such a big deal.

Worldly people don’t have a problem with that. I remember having a conversation with a girl one time who was not a Christian, very worldly girl, and she was she was questioning me about that. Why do you think it’s wrong to dance? And I said, You tell me something. When you’re out on the dance floor in a dark room with romantic music playing in the background, pushed face to face in a full body embrace with your boyfriend, what is your mind thinking about? And this worldly immoral young lady blushed. She knew.

6. Discourage One-on-One Exclusive Dating

And then finally, let me say to you this morning that we need to discourage when our children begin dating this idea of one on one exclusive dating during their teenage years. I’m going to get into a lot of trouble on this one. With a group of people sitting up here, but I really want you to hear me out. Heard the most amazing conversation one time while driving my van when I had a couple of teenage girls in the back seat. My nieces were back there. And we were going somewhere, and they were talking to each other, and I heard one ask the other about who it was that she was going out with. And I was a little taken by that because the one she asked was in junior high, I think seventh grade.

And I said, Going out, where do you go out? And in responding the way that I think nieces are typical in responding to their uncles, she said, duh, we don’t go anywhere. She said, Going out just means that we’re together, that he’s my boyfriend, and that we do things together. And I said, Oh, okay. And I said, Well, what if there was some other guy at school that you met and you wanted to do some things with him? Would that be okay? And she said, No. Listen to this. She said, that would be cheating. I said, cheating? She says, Yes, we’re committed. And I would have to dump him first before I would be allowed to do something with another guy. You know, just this past week, I had a counselor at the elementary school tell me about the problems they are having with 10 and 11-year-old boys and girls pairing off into couples and already beginning to explore intimacy.

Ten and 11 years old. Brethren, our kids are starting this process way too early and getting way too involved. And it simply isn’t helpful. I want to read you a little bit from Dennis Rainey’s book, Parenting Today’s Adolescence. He gives us this warning. He says the dating game, as currently played by most people, is a dangerous trap for teenagers because it encourages them to pursue this type of romantic fantasy love at an age when they lack maturity, character, and wisdom. And that in turn, he says, results in a number of problems. Number one, one-on-one dating leads couples to spend too much time alone at the peak of the sex drive of a young man. Number two, teens make poor choices about whom today and are negatively influenced by those who do not share their values.

Number three, teens develop emotional attachments that cause them to desire a physical relationship of the same intensity. Number four, acting either from peer pressure or from the need, needs that are not met at home. Teens begin paring off as boyfriend and girlfriend when they are too young and immature to make good decisions. And if that doesn’t, if you don’t think that affects, all of that affects their sexual purity, you need to consider the statistics. Statistically, if a child starts dating at the age of 12, 91% of the time, they will be sexually active before they graduate. And watch how the scale diminishes. If we can just discourage that kind of exclusive dating, even just for four years, till they get into their latter teen years. Look how the numbers drop.

From 91% to 20%. What am I saying? We need to do our best as parents to delay this exclusive one-on-one adult type dating relationships during these teen years. Our children do not need to behave as married adult people when they’re 13 years old.

We need to encourage our children instead to have lots of friends and avoid pairing up into exclusive relationships. Encourage them to do things in groups rather than as a single couple. Encourage them to resist getting serious with one guy or one girl, especially during their early teen years. Urge them to keep their relationships more casual and to avoid intimacy. I try to say to young people, you save those kisses. Don’t be easy and giving with your intimacy. And moms and dads need to keep their pulse on the relationships their children do have. Need to ask specific questions about what’s going on with boyfriends and girlfriends. And occasionally mom and dad need to have the guts to step in when they sense that things are going too far and put the stop to an unhealthy relationship.

Conclusion

I tell you what, I’d rather my kids be mad at me for weeks than have to deal with a teen pregnancy and the way that would drastically alter and change their lives. I hope you’ll think about those things with me this morning. In all honesty, I am really sorry that we have to talk about this. I am. I wish we didn’t have to. But our culture doesn’t give us any option. And I guess, folks, this is a subject about which I am particularly determined. I think I got that way about ten years ago. Ten years ago I had moved to Joliet to work with the church there. Three weeks after I was there, I preached the very first funeral I’d ever preached. I’ve told you this story before.

It was a f for a 31-year-old man who died of AIDS. And I want you to know, died a terrible, excruciating death from AIDS. Because he thought he could be recreational about his sex. And he paid the ultimate price.

And I don’t want the only voice that our children hear to be the voice that tells them the wrong thing. Moms and dads need to be helping their children navigate around this dangerous minefield that is called life. And to avoid this pitfall of sex too soon that puts at risk their future happiness. Take out your songbooks if you would, please, and turn to the number that’s been selected as the invitation song. We want our kids to avoid these pitfalls because we want them to go to heaven. In the end, that’s the goal of a godly parent. And it may be this morning there’s someone in this audience that as you consider your relationship with Jesus Christ, you know I’m not going to heaven. My life is not right with him.

Maybe you’ve never once obeyed the gospel, or maybe you have, and you turn back on him. But you know if the Lord came today, you’re not going to heaven. To miss that, folks, is just to miss all that there is. If you’re subject to his invitation, if you need to make your life right with God today, we want to urge you to do that. Come to the front right now while we stand and while we sing together.